


Jet Black Hotel Mirror

by MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Catholic Guilt, Coming Out, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Fear, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frerard, Gay Sex, Homophobic Language, Hooker Gerard, Hotel Sex, Hotels, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Prostitute Gerard, Prostitution, Romance, Sexual Content, Shy Frank Iero, Smut, completed fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:49:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 67,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance/pseuds/MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to a house fire, Frank is forced to stay in a luxury hotel for a week.<br/>His over friendly bell boy, Ray, offers him some rather dubious extras.<br/>It's the start of a wild week for Frank that might just change his life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always keen to get any feedback, either here or via Twitter @MCFOBR  
> Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> I'll try to update as regularly as I can

Frank stepped into the lobby of the hotel and immediately felt underdressed and unwelcome. The usual clientele was far from a 20 year old New Jersey kid with too many visible tattoos.

He felt his stomach roll and his anxiety peak. The place was all glass, shiny metal and marble; the reception desk looking like it had been hand chiselled from one solid beige block.

Frank kept his head down as he shuffled forward, trying desperately to ignore the stares of the middle aged residents and their loud sounds of disapproval. He tried to make himself as invisible as possible, no mean feat when he was dressed head to toe in black in a beige and chrome paradise. When he finally reached the intimidating check in desk, all of the staff seemed too busy to deal with him despite nobody else waiting on Frank’s side of the desk; the place was empty expect those few elderly couples flicking between reading the complimentary newspapers and judging Frank.

The sound of Frank dropping his bag to the floor echoed around the place yet no staff member even looked up. He knew it shouldn’t have been so difficult to just speak to attract their attention but nerves had hold of his tongue. He should have just made the drive back to his neighbourhood, he couldn’t spend a week in this place, even five minutes had him breaking out in a sweat.

The fire hadn’t even been in his house, it was the one right next door. But there was significant damage to adjoining walls, supporting walls. Frank’s mother had good insurance which would cover the work. She was staying with a friend but there was no room for Frank (not that he wanted to be holed up in a tiny apartment with two middle aged women anyway) luckily the insurance also covered a temporary accommodation too. Frank’s mother thought it was a good chance for him to experience living alone, and although Frank agreed and wanted the freedom, he was also incredibly anxious that he wouldn’t be able to cope. Frank didn’t like to be alone.

He should just pick up his bag and walk out of the hotel. That was it, he should go. Just leave and drive home. But then he would have to face his mother and explain how he had got too anxious to even get his room key, never mind stay in the hotel. He could sleep in his car though, then nobody would need to know anything. Yep, sleep in his car then just head to a cheap diner each morning to wash and change in the toilets.

“Can I help, sir?”

The voice startled Frank and he almost grabbed his bag and ran for the door, still fully committed to his ‘sleeping in the car’ plan.

Frank looked up and saw a woman a little older than himself, behind the desk, smiling kindly at him. Her dyed black hair was pulled back in a high pony and, wordlessly studying her face, Frank could tell she had several piercings but had clearly removed them for work.

“Sir?”

As she spoke this time Frank saw a small silver ball which studded her tongue. She saw he had noticed and blushed slightly, he guessed she should have removed that one too but nobody had caught her just yet. Her presence calmed Frank, he took comfort knowing there was someone here, who probably had to face it every single day, that didn’t fit in, just like him.

“Yeah, I… err, I mean, I’ve got a reservation?” Frank’s residual anxiety made his statement a question.

“Of course. Name?”

“Frank.”

While the girl tapped away on the keyboard, Frank pushed his hair away from his eyes, trying to smarten his appearance to resemble something acceptable just like the girl had by removing her facial jewellery.

“I’m sorry. I’m not seeing anything here for you, Mr Frank,” the girl said quietly, frowning slightly.

Frank cringed internally, realising the mistake he had made when the girl addressed him. The ‘sleeping in car’ plan was looking more appealing by the second. Frank swallowed hard and almost died of shame, knowing he was going to have to correct the girl.

“No. It’s… sorry, it’s Iero. Mr. Iero, I mean. An I and then an E… R O,” he stuttered out.

Frank was sure his cheeks were burning but the girl pretended not to notice. She smiled at him and nodded like she understood perfectly then went back to tapping on her keyboard.

“Oh yes. Here you are, you’re with us all week… it’s room number 410, Mr… Sir,” this time the girl blushed as she avoided pronouncing Frank’s tricky surname.

“Thank you,” Frank said, managing a small smile as he took the key from her.

“If you leave your bags here then someone will bring them to your room as soon as possible,” the girl said cheerily, dismissing Frank with a small nod of the head before turning away with a handful of paperwork.

Frank didn’t really want to leave his bag on the floor until a porter arrived but it seemed like that was the expected protocol. He sighed softly and gave it one last mournful look before making his way towards the elevators. These places really were lost on him.

 

When he opened the door to room 410, Frank was glad he had abandoned his ‘sleeping in car’ plan and found the guts to check in. The place was like nothing Frank had ever seen before, except in movies. The room was more than big enough for a small family, never mind just him.

The main bulk of the room was taken up by the king size bed, looking incredibly soft and inviting with more pillows and blankets than Frank cared to count. There was a long couch in the room too facing a wall mounted television. The bathroom had a huge corner bath and a shower that was bigger than the whole of Frank’s bathroom at home.

The one sharp knock at the door startled Frank and he gave himself a few seconds to breathe deep before heading to answer it. Stood in the hallway was Frank’s bag in the hands of another member of hotel staff. The bellboy looked even more out of place in his hotel uniform than the pierced reception girl did.

“Bag for you,” he said, rather superfluously, then motioned for Frank to move aside when he did nothing but stare at him.

The man had wild curly hair that he hadn’t even attempted to scrape back into a tie or even style. He strode into the room in a self assured way but not exactly the formal style you would expect in such a high class hotel.

“Looks like you found everything okay. Probably don’t need me to explain the room to you,” he said with a chuckle, depositing the bag onto Frank’s bed then slapping him lightly on the back.

“No,” Frank said quietly, shaking his head to confirm.

“Good. Well, if you need anything then just let me know. I can pretty much get anything you need,” the guy said with an exaggerated wink. His whole demeanour was so at odds with the environment that it made Frank almost laugh out loud.

“Thank you,” Frank dared to look the man in the eye so he knew he genuinely meant it.

“Welcome,” the man said then started to walk to the door but stopped just before he got there, “I do mean anything, you know. Fresh towels? I got ‘em. You want booze or to get high? Give me a call. Some company for the night? I’ve got friends who work in that business. All your needs, Ray’s your man.” The bellboy aimed his thumbs at his own chest before flashing Frank an extra wide smile and slipping out of the door.

Maybe the place wasn’t as classy as Frank imagined; looks can be deceiving.

 

While Frank was in the shower, he thought about the hotel and the difference between the staff and their typical guests. He’d never stayed anywhere before, not even a ratty motel, and he expected all the staff working at the hotel to be snobby and judgemental. Not like Ray!

Ray was crazy!

Not only his hair and his swagger but his offers too. Frank would probably take him up on the fresh towels at some point during the week but the whole booze and drug thing… didn’t he know Frank was underage? Frank had a hard enough time proving his age if he used a new tattoo parlour so to be offered alcohol so freely seemed bizarre.

And what was that he had said about company? That he had friends? Frank was pretty sure Ray was talking about hiring a hooker and even the thought, alone in his shower, made him blush.

The reception girl, Jamia is what Frank thought her name tag had said, seemed sweet and exactly the type of girl Frank would go for (if she had her piercings in place) he might have even offered to buy her a drink if he had met her in a bar and he had drunk enough himself.

Frank had never had a stable girlfriend, largely due to his crippling social anxiety which made approaching new people a tricky task. Pretty much all of his sexual experiences had come from drunken encounters at house parties, normally instigated by his friend pushing him in the direction of an equally drunken girl. He couldn’t even remember his first kiss but it had definitely been later than anyone else he knew. The honest truth was, Frank had actually been considering paying someone just to kiss him before it actually happened; was that prostitution?

He tried to carry on with his shower and focus on what he was going to do with his week off work and the temporary freedom his new living arrangements afforded but his mind kept creeping back to Jamia. She was professional in her work but her appearance, albeit toned down, made Frank feel like less of an outsider. He wondered if she had any tattoos…

Was Ray's offer really such a crazy idea?


	2. Chapter 2

Frank had picked up the phone on the bedside table four times and replaced the receiver again within seconds without pushing any buttons. It was only one action, just pressing 0 to get reception; that was it. He could ask for Ray, maybe pretend like the man had not brought all of his things… but then he didn’t want to get him into trouble, especially not when he would be asking Ray for a favour. Maybe he always made those offers and people called for him all the time, maybe the reception knew what it meant if you asked for Ray. Was there a code word he was supposed to use or something?

Frank took a deep breath and reached for the phone again. He forced one shaking finger to jab the 0 button then quickly jerked his hand away as though the button had burnt him. The tone rang in Frank’s ear, somehow seeming ominous. This was a mistake. Frank almost hung up, but then someone answered.

“Reception,” a bored voice drawled down the line. It didn’t sound like Ray or Jamia, Frank wasn’t even sure of the gender of the person.

“Hi, I’m… I was just… Ray,” Frank stuttered out. Great, that was smooth. Now the person thought he was a complete moron, a complete moron called Ray.

“He mess up your bags? Sorry. I’ll send him back up. You’re in 410, right?”

“Thanks,” Frank said hastily before hanging up the phone; he didn’t want to lie or get Ray told off so he avoided confirming what the voice thought.

Frank could feel himself blushing, feel his heart starting to pound, as he waited for Ray to return. How was he going to explain to Ray what part of the offer he was interested in? He could barely even think about the conversation without breaking into a sweat.

It was too late though, Ray knocked on the door and Frank knew he had to answer. And he couldn’t call him up to the room and then not ask for something. On shaking legs, Frank walked to the door and checked through the spy hole (having to stand on his tip toes) that it was Ray before letting him in.

“Hey, dude! How can I help?” Ray said enthusiastically, slapping Frank on the back again.

“Hi… sorry if I got you in trouble. I didn’t know what to say,” Frank muttered, cheeks glowing.

“Nah, it’s cool. Most of the reception staff know about my ‘guest relations’ deal,” Ray used air quotes as well as a wink to show what he meant.

“Oh…” was all Frank could manage in response.

“Sometimes Jamia even takes a cut, she helps out with supply and demand on busy weekends,” Ray continued to explain though Frank really wasn’t interested in the mechanics. “So, what can I do for you this evening?”

“I… it’s… I…” Frank cleared his throat, as though the words were something physical getting lodged there.

“Take a breath, man, relax,” Ray grinned at Frank and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “What do you need?”

“Just… I mean, maybe… some beer?” Frank choked out then immediately looked down. What little nerve he had managed to work up had slipped away at the critical moment. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words to Ray, a complete stranger.

“Sure, you’re underage, right? What was your name?”

“Frank.”

“Cool. Frank, you seem like a nice guy so I’m only gonna charge you 10% for purchase and delivery, okay?”

“Thanks,” Frank muttered, knowing he didn’t sound eager enough.

He quickly forced a fake smile so Ray wouldn’t think he was disappointed with him. Ray nodded and looked back expectantly. Frank grabbed his wallet from the bed and fished out $20, hoping it would be enough.

“Thanks, Frank. I’ll be back in no time,” Ray promised, heading for the door. 

Frank waited until Ray left before putting a pillow over his face and screaming into it. He was frustrated, embarrassed, about his inability to ask for what he really wanted. He shouldn’t have been surprised since he had struggled to ask for his room key. He tried to beat the anxiety, to not let it rule him, but it was just so difficult. Some days were better than others but it didn’t take much to set him back either.

Ray was true to his word and was back knocking on the door quicker than Frank could have imagined. It wasn’t long enough for the red to leave Frank’s cheeks so he knew he must have looked ridiculous when he let Ray in.

“Here you go, man. The beer and change is in here, I already took my cut,” Ray announced, handing over a brown paper bag. Frank took it and held it against his chest, judging by the weight it was probably a six pack.

“Thanks, that’s great,” Frank worked to sound pleased and grateful.

“Yeah, no problem. Let me know if I can do anything else,” Ray said as he turned to leave.

“Ray?”

“Yeah?” Ray’s hair bounced as he turned on the spot to face Frank again.

“Do I just… like, call down? To reception? I mean, if I need anything else… from you?” Frank tripped over the words and he wasn’t even sure if he had made himself clear.

“Sure. How long you staying?” Ray asked.

“A week. At least.”

“Cool. Then I’ll give you my number. I’m not at work every day so it might be easier to call me direct. If I’m not around then I can get Jamia to set you up if you can’t wait until my next shift,” Ray explained.

Frank nodded along like it all seemed perfectly normal. Ray recited his number as Frank typed it into his phone, having to repeat the first few digits twice as Frank struggled to control his shaking fingers to input them correctly.

Once Ray had left, Frank sat on the couch and powered on the television. He flicked aimlessly through a few channels, not looking for anything in particular and nothing really grabbing his interest. Casting his eyes around the room, they landed on the brown paper bag he’d discarded earlier to grab his phone. Well, he’d paid for his beer so he might as well drink it.

Frank twisted the top off a bottle and lay back on the bed instead of returning to the couch. Just a few hours into this new independent lifestyle and he was so bored he had already turned to alcohol. Frank figured it couldn’t do any harm to have a few drinks inside him either before the fear of being in a strange room alone crept in.

Frank gulped down almost half of the bottle then set it down on the bedside table, right next to the phone. Just seeing it reminded him of all the attempts it had taken him to call for Ray. Frank’s cheeks burned with the shame, so pathetic he couldn’t even make a simple phone call without turning it into a huge ordeal.

More than the embarrassment burning in his cheeks though, there was a warm smouldering in the pit of his stomach too. A small flame that had nothing to do with anxiety or self pity, it was desire. Remembering the call, Frank had also remembered the reason for the call, why he wanted to speak to Ray originally. Frank thought about the last time he had been at a house party, months ago. He thought about Jamia and how she might look with her piercings in place and her clothes the discarded items instead. The fire grew.

Frank finished his beer in two more mouthfuls and picked up his phone. Braver, from the alcohol in his system, but not quite brave enough to make a call, he text Ray ‘Hey, it’s Frank in 410. What you said about company, can you hook me up?’

The message didn’t sound anything like Frank but he wasn’t sure how else to say it without being overly direct (and there wasn’t enough beer in his system for that!). He hit send and then completely regretted it. Frank groaned as his phone confirmed the message was sent and he wished he could grab on to the tiny text words and drag them back.

Frank’s stomach churned as he thought about what he had just done. Ray was going to read that message, he was going to know exactly what Frank meant. Frank imagined Ray’s face when he opened the message, all full of disgust… maybe he would even laugh. He would probably reply saying he didn’t have any friends desperate enough to be with Frank, not even for money. Who would want to spend their night with a short, ugly, loser with too many tattoos and not enough self esteem? Or maybe Frank had misread the situation; what if Ray hadn’t meant a prostitute? What if he had friends who were legitimate escorts, women you could pay for and then take them out to dinner or to a family wedding if you were single? It was a classy hotel, maybe that was what Ray had meant. Frank wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed at his own childish fear of being alone and his idiotic lack of self control that drove him to text Ray or from the giant mistake he had clearly made.

Before he could think about it much more, Frank’s phone beeped and the screen lit up; a reply from Ray. As much as Frank was ashamed to read the reply, he was also desperate to know what Ray had said, how much this friendly stranger was now repulsed by him, maybe even hated him.

‘Hey, dude! Sure thing, I got the perfect match for you – I’ll send Gee as soon as I can. $200.’

Frank’s hand was still trembling even after he had read the words several times (both aloud and in his head) so they really sunk in. Ray wasn’t mad or horrified and it seemed like Frank’s original guess was right (unless the figure should have had another zero or so on it). He was sending Gee. It wasn’t how Frank had imagined spending his work bonus but $200 only made a small dent in it.

After using the toilet, Frank lay back on his bed and wondered what Gee might look like. He hoped she wasn’t some leggy blonde; Frank hated being made to feel even shorter than he knew he already was. Frank hoped Gee looked more like Jamia; soft, kind, with those big brown eyes and wide smile. He secretly hoped maybe Gee and Jamia might be sisters, possibly even twins; the kind where people struggled to tell them apart.

A gentle three taps on the room door disturbed Frank’s thought process.

Gee.

Gee was here.

Frank swallowed hard and pushed himself up from the bed. All nerves and worry, he stumbled forward to the door. He took a huge breath and mentally tried to convince himself he had done the right thing. Should he look through the peephole first or just open the door?

Frank stood motionless, trying to decide, when the three light taps sounded again, sending his heart into overdrive and stirring up his nerves. He reached forward and yanked the door open before he could convince himself to hide in the bathroom.

Gee did look like Jamia; pretty much exactly like her. Frank grinned as he realised his wishful thinking had actually been pretty darn accurate. Gee had the same dark hair, the same eyes, even the same uniform as Jamia. And exactly the same name tag…

“Hi. Sorry, I meant to get you to sign this when you checked in. Totally forgot,” Jamia said sheepishly, shoving a piece of official looking paper towards Frank.

“Oh…” Frank whispered, his smile dropping as he realised his mistake. Jamia misinterpreted his disappointment for frustration at being disturbed.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to get in your way or anything. It’s just that my boss will freak if I forget to get another one signed,” Jamia explained.

She chewed her bottom lip as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, serving only to make Frank even more disappointed that she was just Jamia from reception and not his evening entertainment.

“No, it’s fine.” Frank looked around for a pen before realising Jamia had clipped one to the paper. He quickly signed it without reading a word and handed it back to her.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” Jamia gave Frank one huge toothy smile then turned and headed off down the hall.

“No problem,” Frank said, too quietly once she was too far away.

Frank couldn’t calm down enough; the longer he waited for Gee, the more anxious he got. He had taken to pacing the small area between the bathroom door and the main room door. He had picked up his phone twice, both times intending to text Ray to cancel Gee. Both times, he had chickened out. His desire to not be alone for the night was stronger than his nerves. Though that became severely imbalanced when there was another knock at Frank’s door.

Gee was out there, just the other side of the door. Frank was still holding onto that thin hope that Gee was Jamia’s sister (or maybe just her alter ego) as he pulled the door open.

As soon as his eyes hit the figure in the doorway, Frank was just as disappointed as last time he had opened the door; it wasn’t Gee at the door. Instead, there was a guy who Frank did not recognise.

He wasn’t wearing a hotel uniform, in fact his skinny jeans and tight v-neck t-shirt were definitely not company issue. His long hair, blatantly dyed a harsh shade of red, fell over his eyes and a small smile played around his lips.

“Good evening,” the man drawled before pushing past Frank and striding into the room.

“Wh… I… What?” Frank stuttered out, turning to face the man and leaving the door wide open.

“Oh, honey, you’re such a cutie. You wanna shut the door though? It’s extra if you want people to watch,” the man stage whispered to Frank.

“Watch?” Frank repeated, completely confused by the entire situation.

“Yeah, I mean, Ray didn’t say exactly what you were into but I’m pretty flexible – physically and with the rules,” the man said, adding a wink when Frank did nothing but stare.

Ray… Ray had sent this man, this strange, confident man, sitting on Frank’s bed. Too late, Frank realised what had happened.

“You… you’re Gee?” Frank asked but already somehow knowing the answer.

“Well, it’s Gerard really but Gee to my friends,” the man confirmed with another wink for Frank.

Frank didn’t know what to say, Ray had clearly made a massive mistake. How had Ray come to the conclusion that Frank was gay? Sure, they hadn’t discussed gender for the hook up but Frank didn’t think he had to; he was pretty sure he looked straight, nobody had ever made any other kind of assumption before. In his shock and disbelief, Frank let go of the heavy door and it swung shut on its own.

“Gee…” Frank repeated, more to himself than to directly address the man.

“Hmmm I wouldn’t say you’re my friend just yet, sugar, but let’s see where the night takes us, huh?” Gerard answered.

“No, I mean… not… oh fuck,” Frank exclaimed, putting his head in his hands.

“Wow, shy but direct, I like it.” Gerard licked his lips and grinned wickedly but Frank missed it since he was still covering his face.

When Frank removed his hands he was more than shocked to see Gerard kneeling in front of him. He leapt away, stumbling back and crashing into the bathroom door. He only managed to stay upright because he caught the door frame with one hand and Gerard grabbed hold of his shirt.

“I… err… just, I…” Frank couldn’t find the right words, or any words.

“Close call,” Gerard said with a laugh, releasing the material from his grasp once he was sure Frank was stable. Gerard let out a childlike giggle; strangely high pitched and somehow innocent yet loaded with deeper connotations.

“I… I didn’t expect that, you, you know, to be there,” Frank stammered out.

“You want me on the bed? Or on the couch? In the shower?” Gerard offered.

“No,” Frank said, too loudly, “I mean, none, no. Thank you.”

“Okay…” Gerard slowly got to his feet, giving Frank a quizzical stare.

“I mean, I’m not… I think Ray was wrong.”

“Wrong?” Gerard hissed, like the word offended him.

“About me,” Frank hastily added. “He didn’t ask or anything… like, I think he guessed, but he’s wrong. I’m not gay.”

“That’s fine. I don’t mind if you’re bi,” Gerard said reassuringly, “I’m not paid to judge.”

“It’s not that either. I’m completely… you know, just straight,” Frank felt himself blushing as he tried to explain without offending.

“Oh, honey, everyone always is. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with Gee.” Gerard made a big show of zipping his lips closed before stepping towards Frank. He managed to get one hand on Frank’s hip before Frank backed up too far again and fell backwards into the bath tub.

“Owww,” Frank cried as his head hit the tiled wall.

“Oh, sugar, you need some help?” Gerard extended his arm but Frank refused to take his hand. Frank was blushing furiously at his own clumsiness as well as the misunderstanding.

“No… I’m okay. I… I think you should leave,” Frank said, losing some of the gravitas he was trying for since he was sitting in a bath tub fully clothed with a male prostitute hovering over him.

“You sure? We can do the whole cutesy boyfriend act if you prefer?”

“No… I’m sure. Sorry, I didn’t… I thought you would be a woman,” Frank apologised.

“Story of my life,” Gerard sighed before leaving the hotel room, slamming the door behind him.

Frank sat in the bath for a long time after Gerard had left the room. There were so many thoughts and emotions flying around his head it was hard to catch them all. Gee. Ray. Pain. Beer. Sex. Embarrassment. Nerves. Jamia. Gee. Alone.

When Frank finally managed to drag himself up and back to bed, he found he had a missed call from Ray and a text:

‘Dude! Sorry, man. My bad. You want me to send a chick?’

Frank wasn’t going to reply at first but then he didn’t really want another prostitute turning up at his door – it wasn’t in the right way but he’d had enough excitement for one night. He quickly replied telling Ray it wasn’t a problem and that he was fine to be alone for the rest of the night.

More depressed (and definitely more embarrassed) than usual, Frank decided to undress and go to bed. Fearful of being alone, and in a strange place, Frank left the room light on; he knew it was childish but the brightness comforted him. He had heard a lot of rumours about hotel sheets but it seemed like a nice enough place so he wore his usual night time attire of nothing at all. It wasn’t really that late but Frank was overwhelmed and exhausted so he started to drift off as soon as he closed his eyes.

One more loud knock at the door had Frank’s eyes flicking instantly open though. Seriously? Who else wanted him now? Did Ray not get the text? Had he sent a girl anyway like some kind of bizarre apology? Frank debated ignoring it but as he swung his legs out from under the blankets he heard a conversation in the hall.

In his sleepy state he hadn’t realised that it was actually someone knocking on the room next to his. It sounded like whoever was staying there had answered and was having a conversation with the visitor. Frank heard the door close and the two muffled voices continue their conversation inside the room.

They must have been drinking, could they not hear how loud they were talking? Frank couldn’t really make out any full sentences, just the odd word or two, but it was distracting enough to keep him awake. The man who was staying in the room (Frank was pretty sure it was a man due to the deepness of his voice) was dominating the conversation. It sounded almost like he was giving instructions, talking too much in short, clipped bursts… maybe he was complaining about something to a member of staff.

The other voice (some maid or such Frank had decided) was answering his demands with one word answers. Frank started to wonder if the guy was intimidating the member of staff and how safe she might be alone in a room with him.

And then she giggled.

Frank knew that giggle and who it belonged to; he also knew it was no maid in the room, it wasn’t even a member of staff. It was Gee. That shrill, seemingly sweet yet dripping with smut, giggle. Frank blushed just at the memory of his brief encounter with the man.

Frank should have realised quicker what was coming next. He should have flicked the television on and blasted up the sound as soon as he realised Gerard was alone in a room with another man. Frank groaned in frustration almost in time with the resident of the other room but it wasn’t despair that had him groaning.

Frank tried to block out the sounds of Gerard and the man kissing but without success. He pulled his pillow over his head but he could still hear Gerard’s muffled words, sweet talking his client, as he undoubtedly undressed him (judging by the heavy thud Frank guessed was clothes hitting the floor).

Frank was desperate to power up the television but he knew they would hear and know it was in reaction to the noises they were making. What if the man came to his door to ask him to turn it down? What if Gerard did? Frank couldn’t bear the thought of the confrontation so he stayed where he was with his hands clamped over his ears.

There were so many noises that Frank wasn’t even sure what was happening, the only thing that seemed obvious is that both the men were enjoying it. The moans, the groans, the sound of flesh on flesh and so many wet sounds. Frank was practically cringing and it only got worse when Gerard started panting and almost screaming.

“Oh yeah, sugar. You’re so big.”

Frank wanted to be anywhere else except wincing in his bed. The other man responded to Gerard’s words by grunting. The bed springs were creaking in time with the men’s groaning and Frank hoped it would be over soon.

“Right there, sugar,” Gerard squealed and the other man gave a prolonged moan.

The bed springs were silenced and all Frank could hear was the two men trying to catch their breath.

Frank dared to remove the pillow from his face and he instantly realised why he had been able to hear so much - the window in his room was wide open and he was fairly sure the one next door must have been too. 

Frank hurried out of bed and tip toed over to the window, closing it as quietly as he could. As he crept back to the safety and comfort of his bed, awash with relief, Frank realised that at some point as he was lying listening to the two men, he had started to get hard.

Back in bed and Frank pressed the blanket between his legs, silently begging his semi firm cock to disappear. Frank squirmed uncomfortably, turning over to try and bury it in the mattress. He heard the slight murmuring of a conversation next door then Gerard leaving. From the sound of the footsteps and the shadow cast from the hall light, it appeared Gerard hesitated outside Frank’s door. After a few seconds though, he moved on and down the stairs, leaving Frank alone with his humiliating arousal.


	3. Chapter 3

“Did you have a good night’s sleep?” Jamia asked Frank with another toothy grin the next morning at reception.

“Err… no, yeah… I mean, I guess,” Frank replied. At first he had spoken honestly but then realised he didn’t want to get into a real discussion about it so he amended his answer. It was probably clear he was lying anyway due to the bags under his eyes and the fact he couldn’t go thirty seconds without yawning.

“Excellent. Breakfast is served in the dining room,” Jamia said, obviously not wanting to get caught up in a conversation either. She pointed from behind the reception desk towards a huge room filled with tables and chairs.

Frank picked over the breakfast buffet, pleased to see there were a few options he could choose from. He chose a table near the entrance doors, away from the main crowd, and sat down with his granola and soy milk. He had only eaten a few spoonfuls when someone else entered the dining room right behind his table.

“Room 411,” Frank heard the man say, confirming to the waiter he was a guest at the hotel and which room to designate his meal to. 

Room 411 was the one right next door to Frank’s, the man speaking behind him was Gerard’s client from the night before. Frank felt his cheeks glow red at the memory of what he had overheard and of his restless night, desperate for release yet ashamed of why and how he had become aroused.

The man walked past the table and Frank lowered his eyes to avoid the man noticing him. As soon as he passed though, Frank couldn’t resist taking a peek at him. The guy was tall, maybe early forties with a shaved head and beer belly. He was definitely not what Frank was expecting and he was sure he must have heard the room number incorrectly. Frank went back to chewing his granola and vowed to stay out of other people’s business.

With a whole week off work and the money from his bonus, Frank was determined to do some shopping, maybe even get some new ink. He decided to head back upstairs after breakfast for a shower. He passed the reception desk again, not that it was really necessary but he was hoping to catch another glimpse of Jamia. Frank was rewarded with a small smile and wave when he passed her and it made his stomach flip. He returned the wave then almost walked into the closed elevator doors since he was paying more attention to Jamia than where he was going. She didn’t notice but Frank decided to take the stairs to escape just in case she had seen.

In the shower, Frank couldn’t help but think about Jamia again. That smile made Frank weak at the knees… he wished he had the guts to speak to her properly, not just the general hotel chit chat. He imagined asking her to go for a drink after she finished work. Of course in the fantasy she would say yes (though Frank knew in real life she would probably turn him down then laugh about it to her friends) and he would take her out for drinks. There would be shy glances, accidental touching of hands, a coy smile and a few whispered words.

Frank would treat Jamia right, like a real girlfriend. Buy her gifts, tell her how beautiful she looked, take her to dinner and when the time was right... Frank wondered if Jamia’s lips felt as soft as they looked, if her hair smelt as good as he imagined, how her skin would feel against his.

Frank slipped his hand down his body and wrapped his fingers around his stiffening length. He whimpered slightly at his own touch but remembered he was safe and there was no way anyone could find out what he was doing. Opportunities alone were rare for Frank and his usual technique was to be as fast as possible in case anyone caught him sinning.

Frank imagined Jamia was the one touching him, letting him explore her body while she pumped him harder. Their lips and tongues clashing as they kissed, wrapped up in each other and being together.

Frank shivered as he got close, working his fist faster until he was right on the edge. And then, when it was too late, an image of Gerard flashed into his mind. Right as Frank groaned and shuddered with his orgasm, all he could see was Gerard’s red hair, falling over his eyes, his mouth slightly open as he giggled.

Frank wasn’t even sure how that happened, why Gerard was on his mind. He turned off the shower, pushing the button a little too hard, and covered himself with a towel. He felt exposed and ridiculously ashamed, his cheeks burned even though there was nobody around to see them. Frank had been thinking about Jamia, just Jamia. He was excited about her, not Gerard. It was Jamia that fuelled his desire, his mind was just working overtime on the anxiety, making all kinds of weird thoughts float around. He needed to get out of the hotel.

Frank spent most of the day shopping, he didn’t really need that many new clothes but he had his cash bonus with him and a desire to be away from the hotel. Frank bought new jeans, a new hoodie, several t-shirts and even a new pair of sneakers. He didn’t stop for lunch since had filled up at breakfast so by the time he got back to the hotel he was starving. He was going to stop at the hotel bar to grab a bite to eat but it looked pretty busy so he decided on room service.

With all of his heavy bags, Frank didn’t want to use the stairs again so he headed for the elevator. His eyes lingered on the reception desk but he couldn’t see Jamia; a middle aged woman was checking in some guests. The doors were just closing when he reached the elevator. Not wanting to delay getting something to eat, Frank stuck his arm into the small gap, forcing the doors to automatically slide back open.

Frank stepped into the elevator and kept his head down in case the people inside were angry at him for hitching a ride. 

“Thanks,” Frank muttered, eyes still on the floor.

“You’re welcome, sugar,” a frustratingly familiar voice chimed. 

Frank snapped his head back to confirm what he knew; Gerard was stood right in front of him. In the same moment as Frank thought about pressing the button to open the doors and escape, the elevator started moving upwards.

Frank looked over at the buttons to make sure his floor was already lit up but of course it was, he and Gerard were not alone in the small space. There was a respectable distance between them but it was still overwhelmingly obvious that they were together, Gerard and the guy from breakfast; Mr 411.

Frank wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Plummeting to his death due to a snapped elevator cable would be preferable to spending another second in a confined space with Gerard and his paying lover. Frank felt his full face flush as Gerard stared at him. Mr 411 seemed oblivious to the tension rolling off Frank even though it was making the atmosphere almost unbearable.

Frank was fairly sure he was going to throw up. His stomach was churning and he was sure he had never felt so uncomfortable in his entire life. He was desperate to turn around but Gerard’s eyes, and his own nerves, had him rooted to the spot.

“You been shopping, Frankie?” Gerard asked. Frank was sure his face showed how shocked he was that Gerard knew his name. He couldn’t remember telling him it or him using it the night before, but then he figured Ray must have told him it.

“Y-y-... yeah,” Frank stuttered out after clearing his throat, nervous but unable to be impolite. Mr 411 made a small, frustrated noise and shifted minutely closer to Gerard.

“Buy something nice for your girlfriend?" Gerard asked, putting a lot of emphasis on the ‘girl’ part; clearly trying to show his client that Frank was not a threat to their transaction and to remind Frank of how he had shunned Gerard due to his gender.

“Sure,” Frank said quietly. He didn’t know why he lied, probably to avoid confrontation, but for some reason his answer made him feel a little sad. Gerard knew he didn’t have a girlfriend; he wouldn’t have been trying to order a prostitute for casual sex if he did. Gerard shouldn’t even really be talking to him, not only was there nothing to say but he was with someone else, someone who was paying for his time and attention.

The elevator jolted and then came to a complete stop, the doors opening to reveal the correct floor. Frank felt the relief wash over him, he span on the spot and walked as briskly as he could manage out of the elevator and towards his room. Frank could hear Gerard and Mr 411 walking behind him (at a deliberately slow pace, he figured) and his calves burned as he begged his legs to carry him faster.

Frank reached his room door and then started to fumble in his pocket for his key. The fast pace he had set was rendered superfluous since he couldn’t get his fingers to grasp the damn thing; Gerard and his client were just steps from him by the time Frank had wrenched it out of his jeans pocket. Frank swiped the plastic key card along the lock, almost growling in frustration when the light turned red rather than the welcoming green he was expecting. He tried again right as Gerard passed behind him.

“Sweet dreams, Frankie,” Gerard whispered into his ear, barely audible even though his lips brushed Frank’s ear lobe. Frank shuddered and he was sure Gerard didn’t miss the action. The light glowed green this time and Frank shoved his door open, slamming it closed behind him as soon as he was inside without looking anywhere except straight ahead.

Knowing what to expect this time, Frank scooped up the television remote and pointed it at the screen. With the volume set to full, Frank collapsed on his bed, fully clothed and cheeks burning from Gerard’s whispered words.


	4. Chapter 4

It had only been an hour or so since Gerard’s whispered goodnight yet Frank had fallen soundly asleep. Frank’s arms woke up before the rest of his body; they were thrashing around, caught up in his half removed jacket by the time his brain caught up. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was fairly sure a noise had woken him. It was dark in the room, even the television screen was black and silent, obviously reverted to standby mode after a period of inactivity (or maybe Frank had fallen asleep on the remote). Frank controlled his arms enough to hurriedly throw on the bedside lamp and then lay still, listening for another sound.

There it was, screaming.

No, not screaming, high pitched shouting.

Probably a woman, she was having some kind of one sided argument.

Just like the night before, the source of the sound was Frank’s open window; in his rush to get away from Gerard and turn the television on he had forgot to shut it once he was back in his room. Frank pulled off his jacket (since one hand was still wedged somewhere near the shoulder) and got out of bed. When he got to the window, ready to slam it shut, he heard the sickening sound of someone’s hand striking flesh.

Frank recoiled from the window as though he was the one who had been slapped. His stomach twisted and his eyes almost started to water at the thought of someone being dealt such a blow. The argument picked straight back up again and Frank heard Gerard announce that he was leaving. The door of the room slammed and the screeching woman picked right back up where she left off, clearly upset with Mr 411. Frank shut the window quietly, trying not draw attention to the action, and was relieved when it almost completely extinguished the sound of the argument.

Frank wandered back to the bed, stumbling a little in the dark, and sat on the edge to pull off his shoes. Frank rubbed his tired eyes and checked the time on his phone; how was it not even 11? Frank was trying to remember what time he had got back to the room, he had clearly fallen straight to sleep, when his thought process was interrupted by a subdued knock at his door.

The sound was more like someone tapping on his door once but with the palm of their hand rather than a clenched fist. The noise seemed to last too long to be a knock but Frank was sure that was what he heard. Tired and confused, Frank stood up and shuffled over to the door. Without his shoes it was even more of a stretch to be able to check the spy hole but when he did, Frank couldn’t see anyone outside. Frank was sure he had heard someone knock and so he checked again.

Nothing.

Frank couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was out there so, before his anxiety totally consumed him and forced him to stay awake all night trapped in some paranoid delusion, he opened the door.

Luckily, Frank was awake enough to be wary and he opened the door very slowly. The strange sounding knock didn’t seem so strange when Frank saw what was waiting outside, well, inside his room now. Gerard had been slumped, half sitting, propped up against Frank’s door. Clearly the sound had been Gerard falling into the door and sliding down it until he reached the floor. Frank removing the only stability being offered to Gerard, the solid wood door, had caused the man to slide forward and sprawl out, the upper half of his body encroaching into Frank’s room.

“Gerard?” Frank said, rather pointlessly. Gerard’s eyes seemed cloudy but he tried to focus them on Frank’s face.

“Frankie…” Gerard murmured, sounding relieved.

“What are you doing?”

“I fell, I think,” Gerard answered with a puzzled look. He rubbed his hands on the carpet like he wasn’t really expecting it to be there.

“Okay. Can you get up?” Frank asked, unsure if he would have the strength to help the man get back on his feet.

“Sure.” Gerard sounded pretty confident and proved himself more than capable by springing to his feet. Once he was up though, he had to brace himself by jamming his hands against the walls. “Whoa. Dizzy.”

“Careful,” Frank said quietly, not wanting to tell Gerard what to do but worried he was going to fall down again.

“I just need to sit down.” Gerard looked at Frank, his eyes searching for something. Permission, Frank realised after a few short seconds. Unwilling to have him in the room but even more unwilling to turn him away, Frank nodded at Gerard who responded with a small smile. Gerard made his way over to the couch while Frank closed the door, flipping on the room light once he shut the door and the hall light no longer provided any visibility.

“You need some water or anything?” Frank mumbled as he stepped over to the couch, unable to be a bad host.

“No, thank you,” Gerard replied, shaking his head lightly to emphasise his point but then wincing. In the bright light of the room Frank could see Gerard more clearly; there was some kind of mark on his face, just below his cheek bone.

“What happened?” Frank blurted out, unconsciously reaching out towards the mark. As soon as he had said the words Frank realised how rude he had been and instantly regretted speaking. He opened his mouth to apologise but Gerard, completely unfazed by the question, answered him.

“Bitch fuckin’ slapped me.” Gerard reached up and rubbed at the mark as though he could make it disappear. Frank felt a strange pain in his chest at Gerard’s words, the kind of sympathy and compassion that comes from seeing anyone hurt but just a little stronger.

“Why?” Frank asked stupidly, sitting down next to Gerard without really thinking about it. Seeing anyone, or anything, in pain brought out the best side of him; his unashamedly, caring, kind, loving and gentle personality.

“Why?” Gerard repeated like the answer wasn’t blatantly obvious. “I’m gonna go with… she doesn’t like her husband sleeping with some ‘ten dollar rent boy’ who is actually prettier than her.” Frank blushed at Gerard’s words, partly because he was so open about the situation, partly because he felt bad that Gerard had been hit… and partly because he was sure Gerard was completely correct.

“She shouldn’t have hit you,” Frank mumbled softly once the silence started to become awkward.

“Well, she did. And she’s a bitch. And she hits hard enough to make me see stars,” Gerard lent right over and spoke into Frank’s face. Frank caught the distinct scent of bourbon coming out of Gerard’s mouth and silently wondered if it was that or the slap that had made him so disorientated. Gerard’s head rolled back and forth briefly before he let himself drop back against the couch.

“Maybe some water would help?” Frank offered again, still not wanting to push but also wanting to help however he could.

“Sure, Frankie. Bring me some water,” Gerard said with a sigh, closing his eyes.

Frank wished he had enough confidence to tell Gerard that he really hated being called Frankie. Frank internalised his own sigh and got up to find Gerard a glass. While he was getting a cold glass of water, Frank also ran a hand towel under the cool running water and returned to the couch with it.

“Water,” Frank announced when Gerard didn’t open his eyes once Frank sat down. Gerard wasn’t sleeping but it took him a few long seconds to fully open his eyes. Again, Frank wondered if it was a potential concussion or just the booze.

“Thanks.” Gerard reached out and took the glass, drinking almost all of it without breaking for a breath.

“I brought this too… for your face,” Frank explained, holding up the half soaked cloth for Gerard to see. Gerard shrugged and waved his hand dismissively. Frank didn’t really know what else to say but then Gerard turned his reddened cheek towards Frank.

Slowly, Frank lifted his arm and touched the damp material to Gerard’s face. Gerard sucked in a small breath at the contact and Frank was concerned he was causing more pain; Gerard had closed his eyes again though so Frank knew it may have just been the surprise.

“Fuckin’ bitch,” Gerard muttered again, making Frank sure that it was the discomfort in his cheek which made him shift slightly under the towel.

“Does it hurt? Sorry.” Frank lifted the towel and tried to replace it at a slightly different angle and more gentle. Gerard just made a quiet, non-committal sound and let Frank dab at his wound. Frank tried to focus on just the inflamed skin but he couldn’t help studying Gerard’s face. The man looked almost peaceful with his eyes closed, pale lids, dark bags from being over tired. His bright hair hung around his pale face, the contrast in colours stark yet warming. Frank found himself staring at Gerard’s full, pink lips so intently that he almost dropped the cloth in shock when Gerard parted them to speak.

“You starting to like what you see, Frankie?” Gerard said with a soft chuckle, his eyes still closed. Frank felt his stomach twist with nerves and his tongue was suddenly too thick for his mouth; Gerard was right. Frank did like the way Gerard’s face looked; he was pretty, almost too pretty… for a man, of course. Gerard slowly opened his eyes again to look at Frank’s red face.

“I… it’s just… err, I’m…” Frank stuttered, desperate to be able to form at least one sentence.

“I know. You’re not gay,” Gerard said almost disbelievingly with a roll of his eyes before closing his lids again. “Neither is the guy next door, nobody ever is, remember?” Gerard’s voice sounded a little sad and it pulled at Frank’s chest.

Not knowing how to respond, Frank just pretended the conversation hadn’t happened and continued to hold the cloth on Gerard’s cheek.

The silence in the room was heavy but Frank was sure Gerard wasn’t even aware of the tension. Frank tried to look away from Gerard and instead examine every area of the room he could without physically moving but he always found himself drawn back to those lips. The cloth was starting to become warm enough that it must have been having very little effect so Frank gently lifted it away.

The swelling had definitely increased and Frank was sure the redness would turn into a bruise overnight. Frank winced as he examined the injury and Gerard opened his eyes just in time to catch the reaction.

“That bad, huh?” Gerard asked. Frank nodded and put the towel down on the floor.

“I’m afraid so. It will look worse in the morning, I think,” Frank whispered, his voice dripping with sympathy.

“Yeah, it feels bad. And I thought alcohol was supposed to numb the pain,” Gerard said without humour.

“Maybe you didn’t drink enough,” Frank said quietly, attempting to make a joke since Gerard hadn’t even laughed at his own comment.

“Trust me, I did. You’ve got eyes, right? You saw who I had to spend the night with. Nobody could do that sober.”

“I guess.” Frank shrugged his shoulders since he really didn’t know (or want to imagine) what Gerard had to face with Mr 411 for the past two nights.

“I mean, working the hotel with Ray is safer than the streets but you never know what you’re going to be faced with when they open the door. At least on the streets you can turn guys down if you don’t like the look of them… well, if you can afford to turn down work,” Gerard explained, closing his eyes again.

“Hmmm,” Frank responded, not really knowing what to say. He didn’t really want to hear all about Gerard’s ‘work’ but he didn’t know how to change the subject. The thought of Gerard walking the streets looking for business made Frank feel a little sad inside.

“I nearly turned down that job tonight. I mean, I knew what he was like and what he would want from last night, but money is money, you know?”

“Yeah…” Frank really wished Gerard would stop talking.

“Kind of wish I had now; no pay and a fucked up face… I wonder if Ray could find me something else.” Gerard’s eyes sprang open as he patted down his jeans. “Have you seen my phone?”

“No.” Frank started looking around the room as Gerard slowly got to his feet to help with the search.

“God, I hope it’s not fucking next door,” Gerard muttered while he rechecked his pockets.

“I can call it?” Frank suggested warily, unsure what he would do if it was in the other room and Mr 411 or his wife answered it.

“Yeah, yeah. That would be great.” Gerard recited his number to Frank who typed it into his phone and then nervously hit the button to connect the call. Both men stayed silent, waiting for the sound of Gerard’s phone. After a few seconds Frank became aware of a soft buzzing somewhere near the door but before he could say anything Gerard was striding off in the direction of the sound.

As Frank got to the door Gerard wrenched it open and they both saw his phone, alternatively lighting up and then vibrating on the plush carpet. Frank ended the call as Gerard scooped up his phone, almost losing his balance in the process, and began checking it for messages.

“Looks like I’m outta luck, it’s so quiet tonight even Ray has gone home early,” Gerard said as he slipped his phone back in his pocket, missing the first three times he tried.

“Maybe you could do with getting some rest,” Frank suggested gently, looking again at the bags under Gerard’s eyes.

“Maybe…” Gerard echoed, his eyes looking slightly sad.

“But if you feel dizzy or sick or anything then you really need to call someone.” Frank really couldn’t decide if it was the alcohol in his system or the possible effects of the slap that was making Gerard so erratic.

“Can I call you, Frankie?” Gerard asked so innocently that Frank almost told him to stay the night, purely just to keep an eye on him.

“You don’t have a boyfriend you can call?” Frank asked. Gerard just shook his head slowly, not meeting Frank’s eyes. “In a medical emergency… sure,” Frank said softly, not feeling like he could hurt Gerard’s feelings since his body and confidence had already taken such a blow.

“Thank you,” Gerard whispered and nodded his head.

“It’s okay, though I don’t know exactly where the hospital is from here so I don’t know how much use I’ll be.”

“I mean for looking after me too. You could have just left me in the hall or whatever. Thanks for helping with my face and my phone,” Gerard’s voice was sincere and he was still having trouble looking directly at Frank.

“You’re welcome,” Frank said softly. For the first time since meeting him, Frank felt like he had the upper hand on Gerard. It was clear Gerard wasn’t used to saying thank you, maybe he didn’t really ever have to, but it was humbling to see him this way and it made Frank feel kind of powerful.

“Can I?” Gerard finally looked up at Frank then opened his arms. Frank knew he wouldn’t be able to speak so he just nodded and let Gerard embrace him. Gerard rested his hands flat on Frank’s back and pulled the smaller man towards him. Their bodies were pushed closer together than Frank anticipated but he knew this was Gerard’s way of showing how grateful he was. Frank loosely wrapped one arm around Gerard’s waist, hastily removing it as Gerard squeezed him tighter.

“Genuinely, thank you,” Gerard whispered against Frank’s ear, causing him to shiver. Gerard pulled his head back to plant a soft but firm kiss on Frank’s cheek before letting him go completely.

Frank instantly missed the warmth of Gerard’s body once he stepped away and the spot on his cheek where the other man had kissed him felt like it was glowing. Gerard said goodbye and turned on the spot before walking, somewhat unsteadily, towards the elevator. Frank couldn’t get his lips or tongue to function properly to say goodbye, he was too busy focussing on that fluttering in his stomach as he watched Gerard walk away.

What was going on with him?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought long and hard about whether to include this chapter. I'm not sure if the placement is right or if it should come slightly later. Or just be deleted (as always, feedback welcome!)  
> I decided to keep it but add this warning to it.  
> I'm not saying it contains spoilers as such but...  
> Well, it's written from Gerard's perspective so you get to see how things are for him.  
> In some ways I feel like you need to know what's in his head and why he has done certain things but another part of me thinks the chapter does give an idea of where things will head.  
> It doesn't really progress the storyline any so skipping it won't make too much difference to the fic, it just gives you an insight into Gerard's feelings.  
> So read it or don't... I don't know.  
> See you in chapter 6... it's a doozy!

Gerard took a cab home to his apartment since he knew he was still too drunk to drive. He gave his address to the driver then lay out on the back seat knowing it would take at least twenty minutes to get home. Gerard intended to use that time thinking about Frank.

Ray never usually described the clients when he called Gerard about a job, in fact Gerard couldn’t remember Ray ever commenting on anyone. So when Ray said that ‘Frank in 410’ was ‘short and cute’ Gerard knew it wasn’t going to be the usual type of customer; not the balding, over forty, poor personal hygiene, businessmen Gerard had become accustomed to. Gerard remembered how he was almost excited when he approached Frank’s door that night instead of feeling his usual dread or indifference. The thought of spending some time with a guy he could actually stand to look at hadn’t happened in a long time.

When Frank had opened the door, Gerard couldn’t believe his luck; ‘short and cute’ Ray had seriously undersold the job. Frank was definitely short but cute was like calling the sun a little bit warm; Frank was stunning. If Gerard could have described his ideal man then Frank wouldn’t have been too far from the final picture. Gerard was a sucker for a man with tattoos and the unsure, almost confused, look Frank had on his face just made Gerard’s insides melt.

Frustratingly, even though Gerard had been at his most seductive, Frank just wasn’t biting. Not even Gerard’s legendary innocent yet flirty giggle had been enough to win him over. Frank had said something about a misunderstanding and how it was wrong, hiding behind some pretence that he was actually straight. The same hurt as on the night spiked in Gerard at the memory of Frank’s refusal. Gerard had not been turned down, not for a long time and never by someone as hot as Frank.

After he left Frank’s room, feeling deflated and dejected, Gerard had sought out Ray with every intention of taking out his frustration on the curly haired man. It was hardly Ray’s fault, Frank clearly was gay, but Gerard hadn’t known what else to do, he wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable. As it was, Gerard only got a chance to tell Ray that Frank wasn’t interested and had been expecting a woman before Ray told him there was a chance of another job if he could hang around.

Gerard remembered, lying on the back seat of the slow moving cab, how delicious it was that the new job was the room next to Frank’s. Gerard’s smile was bordering on breaking into a full gleeful grin when he’d stepped past Frank’s door and knocked, far too loudly, on room 411. Gerard had hoped Frank was still in his room, that he would be able to hear everything. Gerard was so distracted, thinking about Frank and his sweet revenge for being turned down, that he didn’t even look at the new client until he was through the door.

Of course, the guy was nothing like Frank; just the usual overweight, sweaty man Gerard was used to being crushed under. The client wanted to call all the shots and wasted no time in telling Gerard exactly how he wanted things to go. Gerard just agreed because it lessened the time he would have to spend there and a happy client generally meant good tips; all Gerard cared about was being loud enough to make Frank realise what he was missing.

Gerard was vocal, very vocal. He made sure to make it seem like he was addressing his client and made his moans sound genuine (he’d been doing the job long enough to perfect his fake orgasm) but every noise he had made was for Frank’s benefit. As soon as the guy was done, Gerard wasted no time getting dressed, grabbing his money and heading home. He couldn’t help himself stopping right outside Frank’s door though, listening for the sound of snores or any indication the annoying, gorgeous man was awake and regretting his decision to kick Gerard out.

When Ray had called Gerard to tell him the same man from the night before had requested him again he didn’t hesitate to say yes. It was only after he hung up that he realised Ray might not have been talking about Frank but his second job instead. Gerard text Ray to confirm the room number, disappointed when Ray text back with ‘411’.

Of course Frank hadn’t requested him. Frank clearly didn’t want him. Frank was out of Gerard’s league and they both knew it, Frank wasn’t even willing to pay to spend a night with him (even though he was obviously after something since he had hired a prostitute). Gerard hugged himself tighter on the back seat of the cab as he remembered the guilt he had felt after realising Frank wasn’t interested, the embarrassment at making such a vocal effort to try and get to Frank. Gerard hadn’t lied to Frank earlier, not really, he really had almost cancelled the job; not only because he didn’t want to see the client again but it was also the way he felt about having to perform with Frank within earshot. All of Gerard’s confidence and cockiness had been sapped once he had realised Frank really wasn’t interested, he was more humiliated than anything by his own juvenile attempt to get attention.

But Gerard had needed the money. He remembered how he had wished he had more beer in his apartment, only being able to drink one before driving to the hotel. Gerard had drunk at least four more before his client accidently bumped into him in the hotel bar. Gerard didn’t want to be wasted when he had a job to do; he had only intended to drink enough to take the edge off. He had no time to sober up though since the guy demanded Gerard start the night early since he was already there.

When he got in the elevator, Gerard realised he really didn’t want to be alone with the guy for any length of time (even the ride up to the right floor seemed like it was going to be too long of a time) so he was grateful when a random arm thrust itself into the closing doors. Gerard was less grateful when he saw who the arm belonged to; of all the people staying in the hotel it had to be Frank.

Gerard remembered that feeling though, as soon as the doors had closed and the elevator had begun moving, that undying need to talk to Frank. Gerard wanted to ask Frank what his plans were for the evening, to ask him if he wanted some company. Gerard wanted to tell him he was sorry and that he wished that he was spending the night with him instead. But he couldn’t say any of that, instead he just asked him about his shopping bags, wanting desperately to speak to him just to hear his voice again.

As Gerard thought back about the evening, he realised it was indirectly Frank’s fault that he had been so blindsided by the attack from the client’s wife. Gerard had been thinking about Frank the whole time he was with the guy in 411, so much so that he hadn’t realised when the door had opened again. It had taken Gerard too many slow seconds to realise the guy had pulled out and stepped away. When Gerard eventually looked over his shoulder he was more than shocked to find himself being slapped in the face by a woman he had never seen before. Apparently she had been screaming at him for some time too but he hadn’t heard anything. All at once time had started moving again when Gerard tumbled off the bed from the force (and unexpectedness) of the slap, cracking his head on the bedside table as he fell.

Gerard had practically crawled to his pile of clothes, so dizzy from the impact and the half bottle of bourbon he had split with the client in the room. Gerard remembered hastily pulling his clothes on then telling them both he was leaving to try and remind the guy that he still need to get paid. Neither listened though and just carried on arguing so Gerard had left.

At the time it was hard to justify, but as Gerard sat up in the cab he knew exactly why he had chosen to crash down in the hall when his legs could have easily carried him to the elevator; Frank. It wasn’t a random door he had slumped on, it was Frank’s. And Frank had taken care of him.

Gerard’s head was still a little fuzzy but he was sure Frank had looked after him better than anyone ever had. Frank had helped him find his missing phone, listened about what had happened, Frank had got him water and put something cool on his face. Frank had been looking at him too, Gerard had known that even with his head spinning and his eyes closed.

Hadn’t Frank asked him if he had a boyfriend? Gerard didn’t want to confess to anyone, least of all Frank, how lonely and unlovable he was. Why had he even asked about that?

The cab pulled up outside Gerard’s apartment and dragged him back to the present time, still with Frank’s bizarre question turning over in his head. As Gerard paid the driver all he could be sure of was that he had been completely humiliated tonight and that he needed to stay away from Frank. The boy was tempting, too tempting, and Gerard didn’t want to get caught up in him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 and 7 were written as one continous piece but I felt like it was pretty big for one installment so sorry if it feels a little jumpy or disconnected.

Frank had barely slept at all through the night. He was thinking about Gerard; more accurately, he was worrying about Gerard. The later it got into the night, the more Frank became convinced Gerard actually had a concussion. Frank was almost certain Gerard was going have some kind of weird episode in the night and nobody would be there to help him… he should never have let Gerard go home alone.

The sunrise didn’t bring any relief with it. Frank hadn’t heard from Gerard but it didn’t ease his fear; what if Gerard was unconscious and couldn’t phone him for help? He should have told Gerard to let him know if he was okay too. But then Frank hadn’t realised just how concerned he would grow over Gerard’s wellbeing. He still had Gerard’s number from calling his phone to find it for him.

Could he call him? Was that too weird? Maybe just a text…

‘Just wanted to check you hadn’t died through the night. Frank.’

It was a casual enough message, Frank still felt a bit awkward sending it but he had to know Gerard was okay; Frank knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he knew everything was fine. Gerard replied quicker than Frank expected, relief surged through him as he checked the response:

'Hey. Yeah, not dead but a very sore face and head. Thanks again for your help, Gee x’

Frank stared at the words on the screen for a long time, really processing them before turning his phone off and pulling the blanket over himself.

Gee… Gerard had called himself Gee on the text. Did that mean they were friends now? Frank wasn’t really sure how he felt about that but he did have a smile on his face when he fell asleep.

 

It was late afternoon when Frank woke up and for a moment he was seriously disorientated. Then all the memories of the night before came rushing back. Frank remembered why he had slept most of the day and what had happened to poor Gerard. Assaulting him was illegal but then so was selling your body for money so Frank doubted he could really tell the cops… it all seemed so unfair.

Frank called room service and ordered the first vegan option they told him they had available, too hungry from skipping so many meals to really care what it was. He hopped in the shower while he waited for the food then changed into a clean t-shirt and jeans.

After eating the flavourless tofu dish that was brought by an overly chatty member of staff, clearly looking out for a tip, Frank thought about what to do with his evening. Frank was finding being on his own wasn’t so terrible in the day but the fear of being alone was far from banished; particularly at night. Living with his mother was tricky and they clashed a lot but it was better than having nobody. Loneliness and abandonment seemed to follow Frank, a permanent and depressing state that if he wasn’t experiencing then he was fearing its return.

Frank was keen to re-establish his sleep pattern so he flicked on a movie that would keep him awake until a reasonable bed time. The movie was pretty dull though and he was getting pretty bored of his own company so Frank was glad of the distraction when someone knocked at his door.

Frank didn’t check through the spy hole so he was surprised to see Gerard stood before him when he opened the door. Frank felt his heartbeat pick up and his lips turn up into a small smile.

“Hey, Frankie,” Gerard said in greeting.

“Gerard,” Frank answered, not quite confident enough to call him Gee, despite the text. Frank couldn’t stop his eyes straying to Gerard’s cheek, looking for how bad the damage was but unable to see anything where he had been struck. Gerard didn’t miss the direction Frank was looking or the confused expression.

“Oh, it’s pretty bad. Luckily, I’m pretty good with foundation,” Gerard explained, his fingers hovering over his cheekbone.

“How are you feeling?” Frank asked softly.

“Nothing I can’t bounce back from. I’ve had worse,” Gerard said with a shrug. “I just came by to say thanks. Again.”

“It’s fine.”

<“I mean, you really looked after me last night. Nobody ever really gives a shit but it felt like you cared and, you know, I’m grateful… really,” Gerard looked down as he spoke and Frank felt that small surge of power and confidence, fed by Gerard’s humility.

“Don’t worry, I’m happy to help,” Frank said as he placed a hand on Gerard’s shoulder. Frank felt a jolt run through his body, a tingle coming from where he touched Gerard that coursed though his blood stream. Gerard looked up at Frank and gave him a small smile.

“You’re a good guy, Frankie.”

Before Frank could respond, both of the men turned their heads to the unmistakable sound of a door being unlocked. The door right next to Frank’s; door 411. Gerard looked panicked when he swung his head back in Frank’s direction and Frank was sure a similar look of horror was on his face too. He didn’t even think, he just reacted to protect Gerard. Frank still had his hand on Gerard’s shoulder so he clenched it into a fist, grabbed a handful of his tight t-shirt and pulled Gerard through the door. Frank didn’t really have the strength to pull the bigger man anywhere he didn’t want to go so he knew Gerard must have stepped forward as Frank pulled; it was definitely Gerard who closed the door behind them.

“I don’t think they saw you,” Frank whispered. The men were silent as they listened to the door close then footsteps disappear down the hall to the elevator.

“No. I didn’t see them so they didn’t see me,” Gerard responded once he was sure it was safe.

“Sorry.” Frank realised he was still clutching at Gerard’s t-shirt and quickly let the material go.

“Nothing to be sorry for. In fact, it looks like I owe you another thank you,” Gerard confessed. Frank barely heard the words though, having Gerard stood so close to him, in his room, was making all kinds of thoughts fire off in his head. Frank remembered the way the man had held him the night before and the way he had kissed his cheek, so innocent yet it filled Frank with something he could only label as desire.

Frank did like the way Gerard looked, he liked the way his clothes fit his figure, he liked that giggle… damn. Frank wished he would giggle again so he could really listen to it.

Frank remembered how Gerard had somehow known he was studying his face the night before, even with his eyes closed, and his cheeks burned at the memory.

“What’s going on, Frankie?” Gerard asked, no doubt because of Frank’s suddenly red face.

“I… you…” Frank cleared his throat and made himself say the words before he got too over anxious and backed out. “I’m… will you stay? Here? Tonight?” Frank felt his face glow even redder and he instantly wanted to take the words back.

Was he gay?

Frank was fairly sure he wasn’t but did he find Gerard attractive?

Undoubtedly.

Did he want to sleep with Gerard?

Maybe… at least, he wanted to try.

“Seriously?” Gerard asked, arching one eyebrow.

“I can pay,” Frank murmured, sinking back into himself. He realised from the look on Gerard’s face that the man had no interest in him, not even financially. Frank had rejected Gerard too many times so now Gerard didn’t believe him.

“But you’re not gay?” Gerard tried to clarify.

“I… I don’t think so?” Frank didn’t intend for it to be a question but he was so unsure of how he felt that he couldn’t really answer. Gerard nodded like he understood and his face relaxed into a flirty smile.

“$200.”

“I know,” Frank said quietly, he remembered from the text Ray had sent. Frank walked into the room to fish his wallet from his discarded jeans. His hands were shaking so much that it took him three attempts to grab the money then two tries to count it.

“On the table,” Gerard said when Frank started towards him. Frank paused and looked at the money in his hand, down at himself and then the small table by the door. “The money, not you,” Gerard clarified with a slight grin.

“Sorry.” Frank put the cash down and then stared at the floor. He had just hired a prostitute. A male prostitute. What would his mother think?

“You can back out any time, you know? I mean, you stay stop and I will. No pressure.” Gerard’s tone was kind and Frank was relieved that he was treating him gently. Frank was suddenly scared that Gerard was going to dominate him, take control and get out of the room as soon as he could, clutching the cash.

“Can you… we, like, can we take it slow?” Frank whispered.

“Sure.” Gerard resisted the temptation to tell Frank he was paying so he could have whatever the hell he wanted. “Come sit down.” Gerard walked towards Frank then took hold of his hand to lead him to the couch. Frank wasn’t so sure he wanted Gerard to hold his hand… suddenly he was filled with regret about his decision. As soon as they were both seated Frank took his hand back, pretending to scratch his arm so it didn’t seem obvious.

“You need to relax. You got any beer?” Gerard asked. Frank swallowed and nodded, pointing to the bag Ray had bought for him. Gerard left the couch to open two beers and brought them back. “See? Just two guys, hanging out, drinking beers.” Gerard reached over and clicked the neck of his bottle against Frank’s.

He couldn’t help it, a giggle built up inside Frank then erupted, bursting through his lips and shaking his small frame. Gerard gave him a puzzled look which slowly faded into frustration the more Frank laughed.

“I’m sorry,” Frank breathed once he had controlled the laughter.

“Okay…” Gerard took a long sip of his beer and looked at Frank expectantly.

“Nerves,” Frank explained “and you, being that masculine… it’s not really your strength.”

“Fair point,” Gerard agreed and took another drink, smiling slightly when Frank copied the motion. “Would it be easier if I was more feminine?”

“No.” Frank shook his head. “You, well… just be you. So… you are, well, a bit feminine. But that’s okay,” Frank almost tripped over the words trying to get them out without causing offence.

“You really are so fuckin’ cute,” Gerard said, making Frank blush harder. Gerard reached out to stroke Frank’s face. Frank flinched when he made contact, even though he saw Gerard’s hand moving towards him, but let the man run his fingers along his cheekbone.

Frank lifted his beer to his lips and swallowed over half of it. Gerard finished his own beer then shifted closer to Frank, so their legs were touching. Frank looked at Gerard with cautious eyes, unsure yet not completely unwilling.

“Finish your drink, sugar,” Gerard said but Frank grimaced and shook his head in response. “It will help.”

“No, not the drink. Please don’t call me sugar,” Frank explained quietly. That’s what Gerard had called the guy next door on the night Frank had overheard them. Frank knew he was just another client to Gerard but he didn’t want to feel that way and he definitely didn’t want Gerard to see him in the same light as Mr 411.

“Okay, Frankie.” Frank couldn’t bear to tell Gerard not to call him that as well, he had used up most of his bravery on fighting off the last pet name. Instead, Frank nodded and swallowed what was left in his bottle.

Gerard took the empty bottle from Frank’s hand and placed it on the floor along with his own. When Gerard looked back up he found Frank was suddenly incredibly interested in his own fingers.

“Halloween, huh?” Gerard read the word inked over Frank’s fingers as he twisted his hands together.

“Yeah, my birthday.” Frank made his hands into fists and presented the tattoo in its entirety to Gerard.

“Neat.” Gerard bent his head and kissed along the letters. “So, were you a trick or a treat?”

“Trick,” Frank whispered, looking pained. His birth had been the final stress on his parents’ already shaky marriage; his father had left before the Christmas.

“Treat,” Gerard amended, catching Frank’s eye. Frank tried to look away but Gerard quickly caught hold of his chin. Gerard leant forward and very gently pressed his closed lips against Frank’s. The kiss was short and chaste but Gerard didn’t want to rush Frank.

“That… that didn’t feel as strange as I thought it would,” Frank admitted sheepishly.

“I would hope not, I’m a damn good kisser,” Gerard said but instantly regretted being so sassy when Frank started to look panicked. “I’m joking, Frankie. First time kissing a guy?”

“Yeah…”

“Heads up, it’s about to happen for a second time.” Gerard didn’t give Frank a chance to reply before bringing their lips together once more. Frank didn’t really respond but Gerard still worked his lips softly against Frank’s rigid mouth. Gerard pulled back after a few seconds then planted several tender kisses on Frank’s lips.

“You want me to stop?” Gerard asked, secretly hoping Frank wouldn’t say yes.

“No,” Frank whispered.

“Come sit on my lap.” Gerard tugged on Frank’s hand to encourage him to move over. “I like how short you are but it’s kinda hurting my neck bending down,” Gerard smiled to show he was joking and Frank laughed, just a little.

With Frank repositioned sitting across Gerard’s lap, it was easy for Gerard to wrap an arm around his back and hold him closer to his chest. Frank squirmed at first but once he was more comfortable he leaned into the embrace, tentatively resting his hand on Gerard’s shoulder.

Frank felt more confident with Gerard rubbing his back affectionately. He felt strangely exposed due to sitting on Gerard’s lap yet somehow comforted and protected by the older man. Frank moved his head forward slightly and Gerard knew exactly what he was searching for, he closed the distance swiftly and kissed Frank’s waiting mouth.

This kiss was different and the slight pressure from Gerard’s lips encouraged Frank to open his own mouth. A small sigh escaped Frank when Gerard ran his tongue along Frank’s bottom lip. Gerard stopped moving his mouth completely but it wasn’t what Frank wanted. Before Gerard could misinterpret the sound, Frank moved his hand to the back of Gerard’s head to keep them pressed close together.

Frank couldn’t work out if the churning in his stomach was nerves, fear or arousal. Feeling Gerard’s lips against his, tasting the other man’s breath as their kiss deepened was stirring up all kinds of emotions in Frank. He liked Gerard, he was attracted to him and kissing him was better than any of the times with any of the women he had ever kissed.

But it was wrong. Gerard was a man, and Frank had been raised to believe homosexuality was a sin. Frank was straight, he had to be straight. It was all wrong. Only… it wasn’t.

Kissing Gerard felt right, like it was something Frank had been yearning for yet never even knew he was missing. Frank felt Gerard’s tongue invade his mouth and he knew he wanted more; that stomach churning was definitely arousal.

“You like that, Frankie?” Gerard panted once they broke apart for air. It was clear now to Frank, with fresh air filing his lungs and the look on Gerard’s face directly in front of him, that he did like it; he liked it a lot. He was even starting to like the way Gerard said 'Frankie'.

“Yeah… I’m sorry,” Frank said. Looking into Gerard’s expectant eyes made Frank feel bad for the way he had reacted to the man on their first encounter.

“Shhh. No apologies,” Gerard said as he placed a finger on Frank’s lips. As soon as Gerard dropped his finger, he replaced it with his lips, drawing Frank into another deep kiss.

It took Frank a slow second to work out what was tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. Gerard’s deft fingers slipped their way beneath the loose material and trailed their way up Frank’s chest. Frank flinched and pulled away from Gerard when he felt a fingertip skim over his nipple.

“So that’s a no to nipples then,” Gerard said with a soft chuckle.

“No… yeah, I’m… not really,” Frank stuttered. Gerard slipped his finger over Frank’s nipple again, raising an eyebrow when Frank flinched once more.

“Not really?” Gerard echoed.

“I… just… it’s, like, nobody has ever touched them before.” Frank knew his face was bright red as he revealed his limited sexual experience.

“Anyone ever licked them? Sucked them? Bitten them?”

“No…” Frank was suddenly worried that Gerard was planning to do all three.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” Gerard promised. Frank closed his eyes and felt a pair of soft lips kiss the corner of his mouth. “But you’re gonna have to talk to me. Maybe tell me what you like? What you usually do?” Gerard coaxed softly. Frank exhaled and kept his eyes closed as he confessed his inexperience to Gerard.

“I… normally, I’m drunk… and it’s always a house party, some random girl. It’s quick... and straightforward.”

“You’ve not had a steady girlfriend?” Gerard’s hand was still exploring Frank’s stomach and chest as they spoke and it was making it difficult for Frank to really concentrate. It was also making it easier to be honest without his anxiety getting the better of him.

“No. I’m kinda shy. Like, I don’t have… much confidence. Not with girls or anything,” Frank admitted.

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Just make sure you tell me if you don’t like something or ask me if you do want me to do something.”

“Just… I don’t know. I like how you kiss.” Frank felt his face burn but the reassuring look Gerard gave him eased his worry. Gerard didn’t need much more invitation that that; he squeezed Frank closer as their lips met again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Straight on from Chapter 6. Enjoy :)

“Let’s move to the bed,” Gerard whispered after close to an hour of kissing Frank, still sat on his lap on the couch. Frank tensed up at the words but the feeling of being close to Gerard, being wanted by him, gave Frank enough strength to nod and stand up.

Frank watched as Gerard got up and sauntered over to the bed but lowered his eyes when the man made to remove his own t-shirt. Lids still low, Frank dared to raise his eyes slightly and stared at Gerard’s back. His skin was perfect, so smooth and pale, stretched a little too tightly over his bones but Frank didn’t mind; there was something almost sexy about the curve of his spine.

When Gerard turned around, Frank knew his face must be a violent shade of red. Gerard was beautiful. Each delicate rib was visible, his skin almost translucent where they sat, and the hollow at the base of his throat was fascinating.

Frank swallowed hard when Gerard lifted his hand and crooked his finger, beckoning Frank forward. His legs seemed to move without Frank ever asking them to as he found himself moving towards Gerard. Frank hesitated, unsure what to do when he finally closed the distance between them, but Gerard was a professional; he lifted Frank’s t-shirt and had it over his head in one fluid movement.

“On the bed, baby,” Gerard inclined his head as he spoke in case Frank didn’t hear him. Frank’s stomach tightened but he obeyed and climbed onto the bed, sitting half propped up against the headboard. Gerard wasted no time straddling Frank, resting on his hips and leaning forward until their bare chests were touching.

Frank knew that Gerard must be able to feel his arousal and he silently blushed, sure the other man was repulsed by it. Frank tried to move slightly under Gerard to hide his shame but there wasn’t a position that made it any less obvious.

“Want me to move?” Gerard asked softly. Frank shook his head and bit his lip. Conflicting feelings were fighting inside him; it was shameful, it was wrong but it felt so good. What he really wanted, more than anything, was for Gerard to touch him.

“I… don’t move. I’m… I like… like you,” Frank stammered, desperate to keep Gerard close to him.

“You like what I do to you,” Gerard responded. Frank opened his mouth to answer but Gerard rolled his hips, the friction making Frank moan. As soon as the sound escaped him, Frank clamped his mouth closed.

“Sorry,” Frank whispered once he felt more in control of himself.

“You’re cute. I like it when you blush.” Gerard placed his lips back on Frank’s before he could apologise again. Frank felt Gerard’s hands slide up his ribs and this time he didn’t flinch as his nipples were caressed. Gerard broke the kiss and stared at Frank with one eyebrow raised.

“I was… I knew it… it would happen,” Frank explained softly. Gerard nodded in understanding then grinned wickedly. Their eyes were locked and Frank watched as Gerard slowly dipped his head then quickly flicked his tongue over Frank’s right nipple.

The sensation was like nothing Frank had felt before and it made him moan louder than when Gerard had ground against his groin. He vaguely heard Gerard chuckle but then his lips gently closed around the same nipple and Frank was groaning again. After sucking, very slightly, Gerard stopped to kiss his way up to Frank’s chin.

“Frankie, Frankie, Frankie… you sound so good. I can’t even imagine what sexy little noises are gonna come out of you when we fuck.”

Gerard’s words sent two separate chills down Frank’s spine; one of pure desire, the other of sheer terror. Of course Frank had known why he had paid Gerard, he knew the man sold sex and that was what everything was leading to. But Frank didn’t know if he could. He wasn’t even fully sure he knew how it would work with two men. He wanted Gerard though. It was all just so fast and confusing.

“We… it’s, like, I’m not…” Frank cleared his throat, willing the words to force their way out.

“You don’t wanna fuck me, Frankie?” Gerard’s words were seductive enough (especially the ‘Frankie’ part, Frank decided) but add in the pouting bottom lip and it was enough to make Frank tremble.

“I do… it’s… sex, like, I don’t know. No. Sorry. I’m just… I’m really nervous.”

“That’s cool. No pressure.” Gerard smiled at Frank to show he wasn’t offended then lightly pinched his nipple. “You want me to blow you?”

“What?!” Frank’s voice was louder and higher pitched than he intended and it was enough to make Gerard sit back in shock.

“Calm down. I don’t have to.” Gerard shrugged and looked at Frank with gentle eyes. Frank’s face softened as Gerard’s words sunk in and he started to feel foolish for reacting so overtly.

Frank felt Gerard’s lips on the side of his neck and he closed his eyes to savour the touch and to try to hide from his own feelings. Gerard was being careful, keeping his groin well away from Frank’s and not letting his lips linger too much in any particular spot. Frank wanted the friction though, he needed the release, but he couldn’t say the words. As minutely as he could, Frank started shifting beneath Gerard again. He was positive Gerard already knew what he was trying for so it was no surprise when Frank gasped as he managed to rub himself against Gerard’s thigh.

“Frank, you’re confusing me,” Gerard said in a sing song voice, lips still on Frank’s throat.

“Please…” Frank murmured, not really sure what he was asking for. Gerard knew better than to take a whispered plea as consent though.

“You don’t have to beg, Frankie. Just tell me.” Frank didn’t know how Gerard could sound so calm and in control.

“I want you… ” Frank couldn’t finish the sentence but he hoped the few words would be enough.

“But not sex,” Gerard clarified. Frank shook his head, knowing Gerard would be looking at his face. “Not a blow job?”

Frank opened his eyes and found Gerard had his face much closer than he had anticipated. Gerard’s eyes were kind, Frank knew the man wasn’t trying to torture him or make him uncomfortable; he was just trying to get it right. Frank stared at Gerard’s lips, full and pink, slightly wet and so soft. He couldn’t imagine how they would feel wrapped around his cock but he was certain it would probably be good.

“If I don’t like it…”

“Then I’ll stop,” Gerard cut off Frank, restating his promise. Frank didn’t want to admit he had never had a blow job before, even though part of him thought Gerard could probably tell, so he just nodded.

The kisses started again, littering Frank’s throat and working down his chest. Frank watched as Gerard’s head worked lower, planting gentle kisses on each section of skin he encountered. His nerves tried to make a comeback when Gerard’s hand found the button of his jeans but Frank inhaled deeply and reminded himself Gerard would stop if he asked.

Frank heard Gerard undo the zip and then felt him tug the material down from his waist. Before Gerard could ask, Frank lifted his hips slightly so Gerard could work the material off his thighs. Frank let himself slip further down the bed too, trying to feel more relaxed.

Gerard ran his hand over Frank’s boxers, following the length of Frank’s erection straining against the thin material. Frank’s hips bucked towards the contact and he moaned quietly before biting his lip.

“No,” Gerard coaxed softly. He kissed Frank’s bottom lip where his teeth were indenting the skin. “Let it out. Don’t hold back.” Gerard let his hand make the same motion and a louder moan escaped from Frank. “Much better.”

Though the next step was obvious, Frank hadn’t really thought about it until it happened. Gerard’s thumbs hooked into the waistband of Frank’s underwear and the fabric was slowly peeled away. The moment Frank was exposed his insides were in turmoil again. Gerard didn’t want to see him like this; he was going to laugh at him, for sure. How could anyone, particularly another man, find Frank attractive? Especially when he was naked. Frank wished he had drunk more beer.

“Wow,” Gerard exclaimed quietly, so quiet Frank wasn’t even sure if he had heard it, maybe his brain had invented it. Frank tried to turn himself over, to hide under his blankets so Gerard could leave, hopefully without hurting him too much. But there was a dead weight on his legs, he couldn’t move them.

“Frankie? What are you doing?” Gerard asked, his voice seemed far away. Frank opened his eyes to find the weight was Gerard, sitting on his thighs. He braced himself for the verbal barrage that was due but Gerard was waiting for Frank to answer him.

“I’m… a mess. I know. It’s okay. Keep the money anyway,” Frank muttered. He had been stupid to not think things through completely. Of course he would have to take his clothes off, of course Gerard would see how ugly he was. Frank knew there was a reason he could only have one night stands with drunken girls. Nobody could ever really want him. Paid for or not.

“What do you mean, a mess?” Gerard’s brow furrowed as he tried to work out what Frank was saying.

“Me… you know.” Frank looked down and gestured to his exposed body. The situation had caused his erection to start to fade and he knew he looked even more pathetic than what Gerard had initially witnessed.

“Oh, Frankie. You know you’re fuckin’ beautiful, right?” Gerard said, not really looking for an answer. “I mean, shit, I’m feeling kinda inadequate here.”

“No. Shut up,” Frank whispered and closed his eyes, mortified that he had let himself get into this position.

“Frankie,” Gerard said in his sing song voice again “Frankie… look at me.” Not being able to see Gerard’s gorgeous face made it all so much easier for the nerves to take back over and for Frank to forget why he had even asked the man to stay.

“No,” Frank said petulantly.

“Fine. But I’m gonna look at you. I like looking at you. I wish I could see your eyes, they really are one of your best features but I’ll settle for what I can get.” Gerard started listing the body parts he supposedly liked of Frank’s and kissing them to prove it.

“Hair.”

Kiss.

“Rosy red cheeks.”

Kiss.

“Throat.”

Kiss.

“Oh, that stomach.”

Kiss.

Gerard could tell he was winning Frank around, especially when he peeled one eye open to watch.

“I like your fingers, those tattoos. But I’m scared if you make a fist to show me again then you’re gonna make my other cheekbone match,” Gerard said jokingly.

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Frank protested, sounding too intense.

“Good. Then you won’t say no to me. Because I really wanna suck your dick, and I think you still want me too as well, right?”

“Maybe…” Frank admitted, shifting uncomfortably since he was still awkwardly exposed.

“You’re gorgeous, Frank. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.” Gerard leant forward to kiss Frank’s lips, innocent at first but easily drawing the man into something deeper.

Frank felt Gerard’s thumbs tracing small circles on his inner thighs as they kissed and the anxiety slowly faded, giving way to desire. He knew he was getting hard again when Gerard’s hand wrapped around him. Frank broke the kiss to moan and Gerard’s eyes lit up.

“Remember, you can always say stop,” Gerard reminded him. Frank swallowed and nodded as Gerard once again began kissing his way down Frank’s body. Frank tried to breathe, to let go of the thoughts of how repulsive Gerard must find him, and focus on the pleasurable sensations coursing through him.

Gerard still had hold of him when he darted his tongue out and swiped it across the head of Frank’s, once again, firm cock. Frank barely had a chance to register it before Gerard’s hand was replaced, his length suddenly encased in something warm and wet. Frank’s body shuddered from the contact and he let out a low groan at the feeling of Gerard’s mouth around him. And then it was gone.

“You okay, baby?” Gerard asked, looking up at Frank.

“I… I like it,” Frank confessed, his voice barely audible. Gerard let out his simple yet sexy giggle and closed his mouth around the very tip of Frank.

Frank couldn’t help himself as he bucked forwards, forcing more of himself into Gerard’s mouth. Gerard made a strange noise and Frank almost apologised until Gerard swallowed around him. The contraction of Gerard’s throat sent a whole new flood of sensations through Frank, making him moan and writhe on the bed. The pressure was just enough as Gerard began to suck Frank, slowly bobbing his head up and down.

Frank liked it best when Gerard almost released him completely but then swallowed him again at the last minute. He couldn’t say to Gerard how much he liked it since he couldn’t stop moaning but he could tell Gerard knew.

It didn’t take long before Frank’s stomach began to tighten and his eyes were rolling back in his head. The feel of Gerard’s tongue teasing him between sucks was almost overwhelming and when Gerard let his tongue linger over the slit, Frank knew there was no going back. He wanted to tell the man but Gerard sucked him again, just a little harder and there was no chance. Frank came, loudly and fully into Gerard’s mouth, gripping the bed sheets and screaming Gerard’s name in warning and desire.

Frank panted as his orgasm rippled through his body, flooding every nerve and then subsiding in waves. Nobody had ever made him feel like that before. As Frank’s body relaxed and his breathing returned to normal, he became painfully aware that Gerard hadn’t moved from between his legs or said anything since Frank had filled his mouth.

"I'm sorry. I did... I tried to say," Frank said.

"Don't worry, it's all part of the service," Gerard said, flashing a wide grin. Frank looked away and chewed on his bottom lip; in the moment he had forgotten that he had paid Gerard to be with him. "I mean, it's okay; I've had it end up in worse places than my mouth." Gerard crawled back up Frank and placed a hand on his cheek, turning his head and forcing him to look in his face.

"Sorry," Frank said softly.

"I don't mind, honestly." Gerard pressed his lips against Frank's forehead. Once Frank had given him a timid smile, Gerard rolled over to lie next to him.

"Do you leave now?" Frank asked, unsure of the protocol. He didn't want to be alone but he knew Gerard must have other clients lined up or at least offers.

"Most of the time, yeah." Gerard shifted slightly, putting most of his weight on his elbow so he could look down at Frank.

"Can you stay?" Frank asked then quickly looked away. Gerard sighed softly then laid flat again. Frank cringed against the words he knew were coming.

"Sure, Frankie." Gerard rolled out of bed and Frank dared to look over at him, confused by the conflict between his words and actions. "I'm just gonna use the bathroom, okay?"

Frank nodded even though Gerard hadn't hung around for permission. The time passed slowly while Gerard was gone and Frank had to really focus on staying calm. He had already imagined all the possible excuses Gerard could invent in order to leave before the man returned to the room.

Gerard had undressed further while he had been gone. Frank watched as he crossed the room, placing his folded skinny jeans on the couch with his t-shirt, then made his way back to the bed.

Frank was staring. He knew he was. But Gerard just looked so good. Frank had already seen Gerard shirtless but now he could see his perfect legs, so subtly toned, and his tight black boxers really didn't leave much to the imagination. Frank was definitely staring.

"You wanna play around some more?" Gerard purred, noticing exactly where Frank's eyes were trained.

"I'm... it's late. I'm tired," Frank answered quietly. Even though Frank was imagining Gerard without his underwear and remembering how good the man had made him feel, Frank was still cautious. He didn't know how to be with another man, he didn't want to embarrass himself even more. And he was getting sleepy.

"Okay, honey." Gerard pulled back his side of the blankets and slid into bed beside Frank. The bed was big yet the gap between the men was no more than a few inches.

Frank reached back to turn off the lights, using the movement as an excuse to angle his body closer to Gerard's. The dark was just as creepy as Frank knew it would be but he felt a little easier hearing Gerard breathe beside him. Frank scooted closer again, knowing the space between their bodies had to be almost non-existent.

"If you want me to hold you then just ask," Gerard's voice cut through the silence making Frank jump a little; no respect for the darkness, Gerard had spoken at full volume. His voice wasn't unkind, just unexpected.

The words caught in Frank's throat. Gerard had seen through his attempts to get closer and offered him exactly what he was looking for. But Frank couldn't make himself speak.

"How come you were less nervous about cuming in my mouth than asking for a cuddle?" Gerard laughed lightly then reached out for Frank. He pulled the smaller man onto his chest and placed a gentle kiss on top of his head. "Damn it, Frankie, you're cute as hell."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief update. Again, the next chapter does follow straight on so I'll get it up as quick as possible!

Frank woke up and was immediately aware that his face was not on his pillow. Before he could work it out his entire body froze when he heard the sound of someone snoring softly.

He was on someone's chest. Frank knew his cheek was pressed against someone's skin, his side curled around someone so skinny he could feel every one of their ribs against his stomach.

The night before came rushing back to him and Frank remembered. A quick flick of the eyes upwards and it was confirmed; Frank was in bed with Gerard.

Gerard had kissed him.

Gerard had undressed him.

Gerard had played with his nipples.

Gerard had sucked his dick.

Gerard had stayed the night.

Frank had wanted Gerard to kiss him.

Frank had paid Gerard to suck his dick.

Frank had asked Gerard to stay the night.

Frank hadn't been brave enough to ask Gerard to hold him but the man had anyway; and all night long too.

Frank needed some space. He needed air and time to think; to process what had happened and to work out what the next steps were. Gerard's arm was still holding Frank in place, lightly draped around his back. Slowly, Frank inched his way back towards his side of the bed, being very careful not to disturb Gerard.

Once he was free, Frank crept out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. Frank looked at himself in the mirror over the sink. He barely recognised the man staring back at him. The seemingly permanent worry lines on his forehead had disappeared, his eyes seemed brighter and more alive. Frank was sure his posture was better too. Overall, he looked happier. He felt happier too.

But they weren't the only changes. Apart from the physical, Frank felt different inside too. Only, this change wasn't so good. Frank wasn't sure who he was anymore.

Was he gay? He liked Gerard, there was no way to deny it; even thinking of the man's name made Frank smile wider. But, gay... could he be? Or even bisexual?

The feeling of warmth left by Gerard was devoured by the feeling of shame inside Frank. It was a sin. He should be with a woman, not spending his night with a man. A man he had paid for. A man who still lying asleep in his bed. A man Frank was starting to get hard just thinking about.

Frank shook his head firmly and turned away from the mirror, too nauseated to look at himself any longer. His watch said it was almost 9am so he decided to jump in the shower.

The warm water helped to relax Frank and the familiar scent of his body wash helped chase away the demons in his mind. Frank spent much longer than he anticipated in the shower but it was hard to pull himself away from the soothing water. Frank dried off then threw the towel around his waist, knowing it would cover him if needed but hoping he could get dressed before Gerard woke up.

When Frank tentatively stepped back into the room he immediately realised Gerard had gone… along with the money on the table.

Frank tried not to fixate on Gerard’s sudden and unannounced departure but there was little else to fill his day with. He tried calling his mother to see if he could visit or take her out for lunch but she said she already had plans. Frank had already bought himself some new clothes earlier in the week, and although he still had plenty of money left, he wasn’t in the mood to go somewhere with so many mirrors and pictures of beautiful people.

The movies on the hotel television were ones Frank had already seen before so after sitting through one, and half of its sequel, he decided to get out. He took a long time choosing his outfit, not because he cared but it was a way to waste more time. Eventually dressed in black jeans and a navy blue jumper, Frank pulled on his new sneakers and left the room.

Frank found the nearest coffee shop and ordered a large black coffee to go and walked to a nearby park. The day was warm so Frank found a quiet spot and sat directly on the grass. Frank didn’t want to think about his own life or Gerard so he made himself watch the people around him.

For the first time since he had temporarily moved into the hotel, Frank wished he had his guitar with him. He hadn’t wanted to leave it in the house while the work was being done in case it was damaged and he didn’t trust the security of the hotel so his mother had taken it with her for safekeeping. Frank liked to play when he felt anxious or needed a distraction, and having time on his hands was normally filled by strumming a tune or two.

The longer Frank sat on the grass, the emptier the park became. When there was nobody new to watch and Frank got bored of seeing the same faces, he decided it was probably time to move on. It was late afternoon and Frank had skipped breakfast and lunch so he stopped for a salad box on the way back to the hotel, preferring to buy it from a takeout and eat it while walking back rather than be faced with eating alone in a restaurant.

 

When Frank got back to the hotel, his favourite member of staff was sat behind the reception desk. Jamia had a huge smile for Frank when she saw him come through the door and Frank shyly returned it.

“You missed breakfast this morning,” Jamia said once Frank was close enough to the desk to hear. Frank turned towards the desk, diverting briefly on his course to the elevator.

“Yeah. I… I overslept,” Frank answered. He wondered if Jamia had been working in the restaurant and had been looking for him or if she had checked the paperwork of which guests had eaten that morning.

“I thought you might have got bored and checked out already.” 

There was something different about Jamia but Frank couldn’t quite seem to put his finger on it. Her hair was the same and she still had the same smile but, somehow, Frank found her less attractive.

“No,” Frank answered after too long of a delay. Frank wondered if he had been thinking about Jamia too much and if he had somehow imagined she was prettier than she really was.

“You keeping yourself entertained then?” Jamia asked, not too discouraged by Frank’s inability to uphold a normal conversation. Frank didn’t really know how to answer that but when he eventually opened his mouth to speak, it wasn’t his voice he heard.

“Frank. Have you got a minute?” Gerard’s voice was low and Frank knew the man must have been stood right behind him.

“Oh, I get it. Hi, Gee,” Jamia said, not quite as enthusiastic anymore. Frank’s cheeks burned, partly because he hadn’t expected to see Gerard again but also because he knew Jamia knew exactly who Gerard was... and what he did for a living.

“Jamia,” Gerard said pleasantly.

The silence between the trio was anything but comfortable. Not knowing what to say, or who to say it to, Frank turned away from the desk and walked briskly to the elevators. Gerard followed him and Jamia watched with a wistful look on her face until the two men were out of sight.

“Frank,” Gerard started as the two men stood in front of the elevators.

“Not here,” Frank cut him off in a low whisper.

Frank jabbed the button to call the elevator, probably a little too forcefully, and was relieved when the doors slid instantly open.

The men rode in silence on the short journey to Frank’s floor. Frank couldn’t think why Gerard would want a word with him. Had he crossed some boundary? Was Gerard mad at him? Was that why he had left without saying anything?

So many emotions were rushing through Frank it was hard to catch them all. By the time they got to his room Frank was shaking so hard he couldn’t use his key card to open the door. After missing the slot three times, Gerard took the card from Frank and unlocked the door on the first try, pushing it open too so Frank wouldn’t have to battle with the handle.

“Thanks,” Frank mumbled once the door was closed.

“You’re welcome,” Gerard answered, his eyes darting around the room. Gerard wet his lips then sighed, finally looking at Frank.

“What is it?” Frank was so scared to ask that his voice was trembling.

“Nothing. Calm down. You don’t have to be nervous,” Gerard said kindly, giving Frank half a smile. “I just wanna talk… about me leaving this morning.”

“Oh.” Frank understood why Gerard looked so worried, Frank must have miscounted the money and he owed him more. Or maybe he charged more to stay overnight.

“I mean, normally it doesn’t bother me. Not that I normally stay overnight, unless someone requests it. But it’s rare. I can’t even remember the last time I did, stay overnight, I mean. Or care, really,” Gerard was shifting his weight from foot to foot as he babbled.

“Okay.” Frank struggled to look interested, he was busy trying to mentally add up how much cash he had left in his wallet. It was at least another $200. Could Gerard really double his price just to sleep in the same bed?

“It’s because I knew you might be hurt or upset or something. I wanted to explain.”

“It’s okay,” Frank said, trying not to sound too sad but ultimately failing.

“It’s just that it was so late. I slept too much and when I woke up it was already past 9. I wanted to say goodbye but I could hear you were in the shower and I was supposed to be there at 9…” Gerard stopped talking and closed his eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Frank said as genuinely as he could muster. The feelings of abandonment and rejection he had felt when he opened the bathroom door that morning were flooding back with Gerard describing the scene.

“I’m really sorry, Frankie. I’m sorry if you thought I ran out on you.” Frank could tell Gerard’s words were genuine but he couldn’t work out why. Gerard didn’t owe Frank anything, it was just a job. Gerard reached out and put his hand against Frank’s cheek.

“It was kinda late, I didn’t even realise,” Frank said, swallowing hard. The feel of Gerard’s skin on his was making his head spin. Frank really liked Gerard, more than he liked Jamia, and now he was in his room again…

“Thank you, Frankie. I don’t apologise much so it’s always nice to know it’s appreciated when I do.”

“Gerard…”

“Gee, Frankie. Call me Gee. You can’t call me the same name my mother does now that I’ve had your dick in my mouth.” Frank blushed at the casual way Gerard spoke but the memory only made Frank more certain of what he wanted to say.

“Are… are you working tonight?”

“Hopefully. I haven’t seen Ray yet and he hasn’t called so who knows?” Gerard took his hand back to shrug then smiled at Frank.

“$200, right?” Frank hoped Gerard would understand what he meant. Gerard looked at him curiously and Frank escaped the stare by concentrating on getting his wallet out of his jeans.

“All night, Frankie?”

“Maybe,” Frank murmured unsurely, copying Gerard’s shrug from moments earlier. Frank was sure he didn’t look even half as cool or as sexy as Gerard had but it made the other man smile.

“I promise to stay long enough to kiss you good morning this time,” Gerard said in a soft voice.

Since Gerard hadn’t indicated the price was any different, Frank counted out $200 and put it on the table; just like the night before.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Happy reading!

Frank wasn’t sure how much time had passed, it didn’t seem like much yet somehow he and Gerard were both shirtless and on his bed. Gerard was lying over the top of Frank, mostly kissing his mouth but occasionally moving down as far as his collarbone.

“Gee…” Frank panted when Gerard released his lips.

“Yeah, Frankie? You thought about what you want?” Gerard had asked Frank when they first got on the bed what he wanted but Frank wasn’t entirely sure. He was supposed to be thinking about it and Gerard was trying to help by plastering him in kisses, the real key to getting Frank to swallow his nerves and open up.

“I want… like yesterday,” Frank managed before moaning once Gerard got his lips around his nipple.

“Do you want me to blow you again, baby?” Gerard started moving his hands down to Frank’s jeans, managing to get the button open before Frank spoke again.

“No,” Frank’s voice wasn’t harsh or loud but Gerard instantly let go of the material and pushed himself off Frank, sitting back on the man’s legs.

“No problem, honey,” Gerard said, putting his hands on his own thighs so Frank could keep an eye on them. Gerard had misunderstood.

“I didn’t mean no… not like, stop. I meant… I don’t want that right now,” Frank tried to explain.

“Okay…” Gerard said cautiously, slowly lowering himself back onto Frank. “So, what like last night?” Frank felt Gerard’s lips kissing along his jaw line and the words seem to form in his mouth before he even really thought about them.

“I want to blow you,” Frank said then squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Gerard was looking at him; the kisses had stopped and he could feel Gerard’s eyes burning into him.

“Me?” Gerard echoed when it was obvious Frank wasn’t going to open his eyes unless he heard some kind of response. “You know, that’s not normally how it works.”

“Because I’ll be terrible,” Frank whispered, adding his hands over his eyes too.

“There’s no such thing as a terrible blow job,” Gerard said without humour. “No, because it’s about you, not me.” Gerard kissed each of Frank’s fingers then pulled his hands away from his face. Frank’s eyes were still tightly closed so Gerard kissed the lids too.

“It is about me…” Frank protested meekly. “I need to know how to... I, I need you to help me. Teach me.”

“Okay,” Gerard said softly, planting another kiss on Frank’s cheek.

“Really?” Frank dared to open one eye.

“Really. It’s up to you, Frankie, whatever we do.”

“What if I can’t do it properly?” Frank closed his eyes again.

“You’re fucking joking, right? I haven’t had a blow job in so long I’m probably gonna blow my load within the first 3 seconds,” Gerard said honestly. Frank started to giggle and the sound made Gerard laugh too.

“Really, though?” Frank asked once he stopped laughing.

“Really? If I manage to hold out long enough for you to get any real experience then I’ll let you know what’s good. And if it’s really bad, then you’re just gonna have to practice lots,” Gerard said with a wink, causing Frank’s cheeks to glow.

Gerard rolled over on the bed, keeping hold of Frank’s hips to pull the man on top of him.

“What do I do?” Frank asked, not used to being in control.

“Whatever feels right, baby,” Gerard said as he lifted his head to kiss Frank’s lips. Frank lost himself in the kiss, letting his mind go blank and forcing himself to only think of the moments between him and Gerard. He tried to remember what Gerard had done the night before as he let his tongue explore Gerard’s mouth.

Frank attempted to roll his hips in the same way Gerard had the night before but there was something more seductive about the way Gerard had done it. It made Gerard moan though, just lightly, and the sound spurred Frank on; he could see why Gerard didn’t want him to bite his lip and stay quiet. Frank felt Gerard shift beneath him as he kissed him again, the movement caught Frank’s groin and he had to break the kiss to groan.

“Sorry, Frankie. Zips can be tricky,” Gerard explained. Frank looked down and saw that Gerard had unfastened his own jeans while they had been kissing. Did Gerard really think he was that incapable? Frank almost complained but then he remembered how much he had struggled to get the door unlocked.

Frank realised how much his hands were shaking when he tried to remove Gerard’s skinny jeans. The material was a tight fit anyway, clinging to Gerard in all the right places, but Frank’s dexterity was beyond minimal due to his juddering fingers. Gerard was patient though and he let Frank work the fabric loose over his hips. Frank knew his trembling wasn’t going to get any easier so he pulled Gerard’s boxers off together with his jeans to save time and effort.

Even though Frank had thought about it, probably too much, he couldn’t have imagined how Gerard would look naked. Frank realised it was the first time he’d even seen another man completely naked, and aroused. Instead of feeling disgusted, like he had been told he should feel, he felt strangely justified; like it was right, more right than he could ever have imagined. He wondered how Gerard tasted, how he felt, and if he would get the chance to find out.

“You okay, Frankie?” Gerard asked, obviously concerned at the amount of time Frank was spending just staring at him.

“Yeah…” Frank managed.

“You know you don’t have to.” Gerard reached out and placed his hand on Frank’s hip. The physical contact jolted Frank out of his thoughts and he looked up at Gerard’s concerned eyes.

“It’s not that… I was just, I was thinking about how… good you look,” Frank confessed. Gerard seemed satisfied with the answer and didn’t question Frank when he bent his head to kiss his stomach.

Frank let his hand trail lower as he kissed his way across to Gerard’s hip bone. When Frank’s fingers caught the tip of Gerard, the man pushed upwards towards the contact, his breath hitching. It helped Frank to focus as he kissed his way lower, the way Gerard’s breathing would falter when Frank hit a more sensitive area.

“You’re gonna be so good at this, baby, I know it,” Gerard whispered once Frank reached his groin.

“Tell me to stop… you know, if I’m really bad,” Frank said without looking up.

“Just relax, Frankie. Oh, and please don’t bite me.”

Frank would have responded but he had already committed half way through Gerard’s sentence and his lips were around the head of Gerard’s cock sooner than either of them anticipated. Frank sucked softly, just to see what would happen, and he was rewarded with a loud moan from Gerard.

Encouraged, Frank allowed more of Gerard’s length past his lips but there was still more out than in. Frank tried to edge a little more forward but he was sure he was going to gag. Instead he pulled off completely to try and explain to Gerard.

“I can’t fit it all,” Frank said dejectedly.

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to.” Gerard reached down and stroked Frank’s hair.

“You did for me.”

“Surprisingly, yesterday wasn’t my first time sucking dick,” Gerard said with a small chuckle. “Don’t take too much.”

Frank opened his mouth again and closed it around as much of Gerard as he could manage. He sucked softly again but moved his head back and forth as he did, trying to imitate what Gerard had done. Gerard moaned and the sound made Frank suck harder, moving quicker up and down.

Gerard was moaning continuously as Frank focussed on keeping a steady rhythm. One particularly loud moan made Frank push too far forward, gagging when the head of Gerard’s cock hit the back of his throat. It wasn’t enough to make Frank stop though, he just pulled back a more cautious distance and kept sucking.

“Frankie… baby,” Gerard started but then was cut off by a moan when Frank sucked harder in response to his words. “Frank… listen… you.” Another moan overcame Gerard and he lost the next word. “You should… Frank.” Gerard tugged on Frank’s hair, Frank realised Gerard was trying to get his attention; he instantly released Gerard from his mouth.

“What’s wrong? Was it bad?” Frank asked timidly.

“No, baby. It’s so fucking good,” Gerard panted. “You’re so fucking good… I can’t,” Gerard sucked in a deep breath “I can’t even fucking speak.”

“But you stopped me,” Frank accused.

“To help. I wanted to tell you something… but damn, you’re so good, I couldn’t… couldn’t get all the words out,” Gerard forced the words out between gasps of air.  
“Help?”

“Yeah. I wanted to say… if you put your hand around where your lips stop, then you won’t slip forward. You won’t choke.” Gerard sighed and laid back. His face looked relieved that he had managed to get all the words out and not deprive his lungs of too much oxygen.

“Like this?” Frank moved his head forward and was on Gerard again, this time wrapping his fingers around the firm length he couldn’t get past his lips. Gerard opened his mouth to speak but Frank rubbed his tongue along the underside of Gerard’s cock so he could do nothing but groan and fist the bed sheets.

It didn’t take long for Frank to find exactly the right pressure to make Gerard buck his hips forward with each loud groan. Frank worked to make sure his head and hand moved in sync, occasionally stopping to take a breath and tease Gerard with his tongue.

“Fuck, baby.” Gerard growled between two moans. “Frankie… I’m gonna…” Gerard was cut off by an intense moan. Frank had heard him and he knew what he meant but he wasn’t stopping. “Frank, I… I can’t hold it,” Gerard cried out, pulling on Frank’s hair to get his attention. Frank just sucked harder and faster, squeezing Gerard’s hip with his free hand to let him know he had heard and it was okay. Frank heard Gerard’s sustained moan as the hot fluid shot into his mouth. He let his hand drop away and only removed his mouth once he was sure Gerard was done and felt him collapse back onto the bed.

Frank tried not to gag at the slimy liquid coating the roof of his mouth and sitting on his tongue. The salty flavour was over powering but it was the texture Frank found the most difficult to deal with.

“Spit,” Gerard called softly from the pillow. Frank looked about but there was nothing around, no bin or glass within easy reach. “On me or on the sheets. Spit,” Gerard commanded again. Frank shook his head and closed his eyes, forcing his throat to close and accept the contents of his mouth.

“I have to sleep on those sheets,” Frank said quietly when he realised Gerard was watching him.

“You could have spat it onto me.”

“That’s gross,” Frank said as he moved back up to lie down. Gerard cocked one eyebrow at him and pulled an incredulous face. “I might have missed and hit the bed anyway.”

“Sassy now, huh? Frank three days ago wouldn’t have dared speak like that,” Gerard said with a gleeful smile. Frank blushed as he realised just how flippant he had sounded and how at ease he suddenly felt with Gerard… until the man had pointed it out.

“I… it just…” Frank blushed and bit his lip.

“So fuckin’ cute,” Gerard whispered under his breath, lifting a hand to stroke Frank’s cheek. Gerard leaned forward to kiss Frank but Frank pulled away as soon as their lips met. “No?”

“I… you know, taste like…” Frank couldn’t think of a word to use but Gerard knew what he meant.

“Oh, I don’t care, honey.” Gerard moved closer to Frank on the bed and pulled him in for a real kiss, not even flinching when Frank let his tongue slide into his mouth.  


“Was it… okay?” Frank asked when they broke apart.

“What?” Gerard murmured, his eyes almost closing.

“Me… you know.” Frank shifted uncomfortably as he waited for an answer; not only were his emotions about his performance in turmoil but he had been hard since Gerard had taken his top off and it was starting to get too much.

“You were amazing, Frankie. You sure it was your first time?” Gerard opened one eye and smiled at Frank so he knew he was teasing. Frank didn’t answer so Gerard shuffled closer, letting his thigh graze Frank’s groin. Frank moaned at the contact and Gerard wet his lips. “What do you want, Frankie?”

“Touch me,” Frank whimpered.

"You know I will." Gerard brought his lips to Frank's then slipped his hand between them. Frank felt Gerard easily work his hand inside his half open jeans and rub against him.

Frank didn't want to be teased, he'd been waiting long enough and his body was craving release. He murmured against Gerard's open mouth to try and make the man understand.

"Please, Gee," was all Frank could manage once he could talk. He backed it up by thrusting against Gerard's hand. Frank almost cried out in relief when Gerard yanked his jeans and underwear down, just enough to fully expose him. He knew he should be self conscious but he didn't care, all Frank wanted was Gerard.

The feel of Gerard's fist closing around his stiff member was mind blowing. Frank whimpered at the contact and tried to work his hips forwards.

"Easy, baby," Gerard whispered, keeping his hand frustratingly still. He planted a kiss on Frank's cheek then let his tongue trail all the way down to his chin. It made Frank shudder and rut against Gerard's fist again. Gerard laughed quietly to himself then started moving his hand.

Frank really did most of the work; he met every pump of Gerard's fist with a roll of his hips, moaning each time. Frank didn't know he was so close but when Gerard purred in his ear about how sexy he was it was enough to make him completely lose control. Frank's hips faltered but Gerard kept stroking him, harder and quicker. He gave a loud groan and threw his head back, emptying himself in hot, sticky streams over Gerard's stomach.

Frank felt his body go limp, exhausted and spent. He gasped in lungfuls of air, trying to catch enough to be able to apologise. Gerard must have sensed it.

"Don't you dare," Gerard warned softly then placed a finger over Frank's still parted lips. Frank calmed his breathing but Gerard didn't remove his finger until Frank nodded to show he had understood.

"I... " Frank started, not really sure where he was going.

"You," Gerard cut in "have the best orgasm face I've seen in a long time. It's even cuter than when you blush."

"I don't." Frank wanted to hide his face but he was too tired to move.

"You do. Seriously, between that and this," Gerard gestured to his spattered abdomen "I'm almost hard again." Frank looked down when Gerard had motioned with his hand and saw the man wasn't lying.

"You want... " Frank wanted to offer him some relief but he wasn't sure what.

"I'm fine, Frankie. Don't worry." Gerard kissed his forehead and Frank closed his eyes.

"Can you stay?" Frank asked quietly.

"Only if I can use your shower." Frank nodded vaguely in response, stifling a yawn. He heard Gerard chuckle then felt the movement as he got off the bed.

Frank was jolted awake from his brief nap when he heard the bathroom door close. In a panic, Frank sat up, his senses heightened from fear. Frank locked eyes with Gerard; freshly showered with a towel around his waist.

"You said I could," Gerard said defensively when Frank kept staring at him. Frank started breathing again and slowly nodded his head.

"Yeah, I know, sorry. I guess I fell asleep." Frank rubbed his eyes as Gerard walked over to his side of the bed.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Gerard said as he stooped to stroke Frank's face. Frank let his eyes drink in Gerard's face; his deep hazel eyes, the way his wet hair clung to his forehead, and something not quite so beautiful too.

"What happened?" Frank exclaimed. He reached out his hand to touch the yellowing bruise across Gerard's cheekbone but stopped himself; it looked painful and he didn't want to hurt the man.

“Bitch fuckin’ slapped me,” Gerard said, perfectly recapturing the tone he had used the night the bruise had been created. “Guess the shower made short work of my make up.” Gerard walked over to the mirror on the wall to examine his face.

“It looks really painful,” Frank said, his voice concerned. Frank tried to get off the bed but couldn’t roll over or swing his feet to the floor.

“I can barely feel it, just looks ugly… it’s your jeans, honey,” Gerard told Frank, locking eyes with the man through the mirror.

“Jeans?”

“Why you can’t move properly.” Gerard turned around to give Frank an amused smile as the shorter man looked down to see his jeans, still only pulled half way down his thighs.

“Oh.” Frank blushed as he looked down and realised he was still exposed. He quickly ripped off his remaining clothing then threw the blanket over himself.

“You tired, Frankie?”

“A little. Just… I want… ”

“You want to be held, I know,” Gerard finished when Frank couldn’t complete the thought.

“Please.” Frank watched Gerard hang his towel over the chair and then walk around the bed. Gerard stopped at the foot of the bed, facing the bathroom.

“You staring at my ass, Frankie?” Gerard said in a sing song, swaying his hips in time.

“Maybe,” Frank confessed quietly, he hadn’t taken his eyes off Gerard since he had stepped back in the room. There was something about Gerard that was just so irresistible to Frank; he was worried he was becoming addicted to the man.

“Any time you want it, baby, it’s all yours,” Gerard said as he crawled into bed beside Frank.

“I…”

“I know, you don’t wanna have sex with me. I was teasing, Frankie.” Just like the night before, Gerard reached for Frank and pulled him onto his chest, holding him securely around his shoulders with one arm.

“It’s… I, it’s not that… you know, that I don’t want to,” Frank stuttered.

“Hmmmm?” Gerard was alternating between stroking Frank’s hair and the side of his neck.

“Can you… maybe, just shut the light off?” Frank felt too exposed in the bright lights and even though he still had a niggle of fear about the dark, empty room, he knew it would be easier to really talk to Gerard if he could hide his face.

“Sure, honey.” Gerard reached for the switch, only interrupting his stroking pattern very briefly to plunge the room into black.

“I… I don’t know how,” Frank admitted, pushing his face against Gerard’s bare chest.

“How to what?” Gerard’s voice was gentle and it helped Frank to keep talking.

“To be… with someone, a man.”

“You’re doing great.” Gerard placed a soft kiss on Frank’s head. “And it’s easier than woman in lots of ways. You know, we have enough practice with our own,” there was humour in Gerard’s voice but Frank didn’t get the joke.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Practice, Frankie. I mean, we get to touch our own dicks often enough so we should know what to do with each others,” Gerard laughed but Frank stayed silent.

“Oh… no. Not really,” Frank whispered, his cheeks burning furiously against Gerard’s skin.

“Now I don’t know what you mean.” Frank could still feel Gerard’s fingers in his hair and it helped him relax. Frank breathed in the scent of his own body wash from Gerard’s skin and felt comforted.

“I don’t… not really. Well, not much… Catholic, growing up,” Frank explained awkwardly.

“Ahhh. I get it. Tough break.”

“Yeah…”

“Are you still, like, religious?”

“Kinda, but not particularly but then in some ways… yeah, I guess. I don’t know. Some things are just so… like, a part of me, you know?” Frank tried to explain his complicated relationship with religion but he knew it didn’t make much sense to Gerard.

“Am I going to hell, Frankie?” Gerard asked. Frank would have thought the man was mocking him but Gerard’s voice was low and sincere.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Maybe we all are… nobody has no sin, no guilt.”

“I think you’ll get to heaven, Frankie.”

“Do you have faith?” Frank asked to shift the focus.

“Not in any Gods or religion. I have faith in myself and that everything will work out alright,” Gerard said quietly.

“I like that,” Frank whispered.

"Tell me about yourself, Frankie," Gerard said softly.

"Like what?" Frank didn't really like to talk about himself but it was easier with Gerard holding him and not able to see his frequent blushing in the limited light.

"Anything. You don't have to tell me stuff you don't want to but I pretty much just know your name."

"Only my first name," Frank added though he wasn't sure why; it only proved Gerard's point of how little he knew. Frank wasn't sure exactly why Gerard needed or wanted to know more but it was difficult to refuse him.

"Exactly. So let's start with your full name."

"Frank Anthony Iero," Frank whispered, unsure why he included his middle name.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you spell that! It's good to meet you, Frank Anthony Iero," Gerard didn't stumble over the last name like most people did but he pronounced it wrong anyway. "I'm Gerard Arthur Way." The small bit of personal information Gerard gave away made Frank feel more open and without even realising he was telling Gerard everything.

After Frank disclosed his age, where he lived, his heritage, his family, his job, why he was staying in the hotel and his fear of living alone, he stopped suddenly and blushed.

"What?" Gerard asked, sensing the heavy silence.

"That's the most I've ever told anyone about me," Frank whispered in disbelief. Frank was scared of how easy it had become to talk to Gerard but also of how freeing it felt.

Gerard didn't answer Frank, not verbally, Frank felt Gerard's arm tighten around him as he was crushed against his chest. There was a soft touch, Gerard's lips rustling against Frank's hair, then Gerard resumed stroking Frank's face.


	10. Chapter 10

Frank knew Gerard was already awake when he opened his eyes. He could still feel the man's chest rising and falling against his cheek but not in a deep, sleeping pattern. A yawn forced its way out of Frank's mouth and Gerard didn't miss the motion of his jaw.

"Good morning, Frankie," Gerard said softly. Frank felt a warm hand trail down his spine and it made him shudder.

"Hey," was all Frank could manage before another yawn broke through. Frank pushed himself off Gerard and sat up against the headboard. Once Gerard was upright too, he turned to face Frank.

"You sleep well?" Gerard asked.

"Kinda... you know you snore?" Frank blushed when he realised how direct he had been.

"Yeah, I did, thanks. I reckon that's why I'm still single," Gerard said in a light voice, adding a small chuckle at the end so Frank knew he wasn't offended.

"Probably," Frank said quickly, giving back a sly smile. They both knew it was probably Gerard's chosen profession that kept boyfriends away but there was no need to say it.

"Sassy. Guessing you don't want that good morning kiss then?" Gerard pulled his head away and Frank betrayed his cool act by throwing himself towards Gerard. Still out of reach, Gerard looked down and Frank thought he saw something like sadness flash in his eyes. Before Frank could comment, Gerard bent his head and pressed their lips together.

“Good morning,” Frank breathed when they eventually broke apart. Gerard leant forward and planted one more gentle kiss on Frank’s lips.

“I’d love to stay all day but…”

“You’ve got to work… I understand.” Frank absent-mindedly wondered if it would be too weird to pay Gerard to stay with him all day, just for the company and hugs.

“Actually, I’ve got class,” Gerard answered as he climbed out of the bed. Frank didn’t want to pry so he let Gerard get dressed in silence, rolling over onto the empty side of the bed for a better view. “Don’t suppose you’ve got any make up?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Damn.” Gerard pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed furiously. “Can’t walk about with this on show,” Gerard explained after he put his phone away, pointing to his damaged cheekbone.

“I don’t think I’ve got anything that will help.” Frank rolled out of bed and pulled on his boxers, prepared to search the room for anything useful.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.”

Gerard stood in front of the mirror and styled his hair, teasing certain strands so they sat just right over his face. Frank started to feel self conscious so threw on his discarded clothes from the night before. He was glad he did because as soon as he was done there were three gentle taps at his door.

The noise didn’t seem to reach Gerard as he twisted one particularly stubborn lock of hair so Frank stumbled over to the door and pulled it open. Jamia was standing in the hall and gave Frank a friendly smile, thrusting her hand forwards. There was a small plastic disc in her palm and Frank just stared at it.

"Thanks, sugar,” Gerard said over Frank’s shoulder. The unexpected interruption made Frank jump a little and he whipped his head to the side to look at Gerard.

“Just don’t forget you’ve got it; you still owe me an eyeliner,” Jamia said accusingly. Gerard reached forward and claimed the item from Jamia.

“I bought you a new one. I haven’t even worn eyeliner in ages,” Gerard said like a whiny child. Jamia rolled her eyes and sighed.

“You wear eyeliner?” Frank blurted out in surprise.

“Yeah. Well, I used to,” Gerard said then shot a ‘thanks a lot for that’ look at Jamia who grinned. “I don’t really bother with make up now, except when I have to.” Gerard gestured to his cheek even though Frank knew exactly why he needed to borrow Jamia’s foundation.

“What did you even do?” Jamia asked, noticing the mark on Gerard’s face for the first time. Gerard opened his mouth but Jamia stuck out her arm, palm flat in front, and looked at Frank. “Actually, don’t tell me. I don’t even wanna know.”

“Come on, Jamia… ” Gerard started.

“Nope. And I want that back, Gee,” Jamia pointed at the plastic, which Frank now knew was foundation, and wagged her finger like someone telling off a puppy. “Bye, Frank.” Jamia gave him a slightly less warm smile then headed off towards the elevators.

Gerard kissed the back of Frank’s neck then headed back to the mirror to fix his face. Frank let the door swing closed and followed Gerard, still trying to absorb what had happened.

“You know what she thinks?” Frank said quietly.

“Hmmm?” Gerard was daubing the flesh coloured powder onto his skin but looking at Frank through the mirror.

“She thinks I did that,” Frank forced out shakily.

“This? Nah. She just thinks I’m too reckless.”

“She saw you with me last night and you were fine. She comes to my room this morning, you’re still here and now you’ve got that,” Frank tried to make Gerard understand how it would look to an outsider.

“She wouldn’t think that… unless, was you pulling your Catholic guilt face?”

“My what?”

“You know. That look you get when you think you’re doing something you shouldn’t, like you’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar.”

"What?” Frank was stunned and didn’t really know what else to say. He knew how consumed with guilt he felt on the inside at certain times, normally around sexual things or the odd occasions at a party when he had taken a drag of a cigarette to fit in, but he didn’t know it played out so obviously on his face.

“You know you do it, Frankie. Like when those first few minutes of bliss fade out after you cum and you start to feel bad. Or when you say what you really mean but you’re scared that I’m judging you or something.”

“It’s… I’m… ”

“You feel guilty a lot more than you should, you know? If you enjoy something or it makes you happy then you don’t have to feel bad about it. Even if makes other people unhappy or uncomfortable. It’s your life, Frankie, live it for yourself.” Gerard finished applying the foundation and turned to face Frank.

“Some things… just ingrained, like, a part of me,” Frank tried to remember how he had explained his bizarre religious feelings to Gerard the night before, a desperate way to make him understand.

“I know, Frankie.” Gerard reached out and held Frank’s chin lightly. “I don’t blame you or anything, just try to take it easy on yourself.”

“I’ll try,” Frank promised. Gerard placed his lips on Frank’s for a few seconds then pulled away.

“Don’t worry, I’ll set Jamia straight. See ya, Frankie.” Gerard kissed Frank’s forehead then started for the door.

Frank couldn’t watch Gerard leave, it caused too much of a lump in his throat and he didn’t know why. Frank flopped down onto the bed, still fully clothed, and tried to bury his mortified, guilty face in the pillows. In a few seconds Gerard would be out of the door and Frank didn’t know when he would see him again; that scared him more than the thought of being alone.

“Gee?” Frank called, his voice muffled by the soft pillow.

“Yeah?” Gerard sounded like he was already at the door.

“I’ve… got enough, you know… cash for tonight too,” Frank sounded much less confident than he wanted to.

“You want me to come back? You sure?”

“It’s about the only thing I am sure of,” Frank said quietly but he knew Gerard had heard him.

“I’ll bring my toothbrush,” Gerard replied before Frank heard the soft closing of the door. When Frank looked up to check Gerard was gone he tried not to let his eyes focus on the empty table by the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Frank’s mother called him after he had ordered and eaten breakfast in his room, desperate to avoid Jamia just in case Gerard hadn’t had chance to correct her. She was feeling bad about not being able to see him yesterday so she invited him over for lunch. Not wanting to spend all day in his own company, Frank accepted. After a quick shower, he drove over to his mother’s temporary accommodation.  
“Frank, it’s so good to see you,” his mother greeted him in the doorway of the tiny apartment, pulling him into an embrace and kissing his cheek.  
“Hi, Mom.” Frank was unnerved by the friendly welcome but he tried not to let it show.  
“Come in. I’ve missed you,” she said as she led him into the tiny kitchen. The small table was already laid out with a bowl of green salad, bread and some kind of cold pasta dish.  
“Yeah, I know. It’s been kinda… weird,” Frank answered, taking a seat.  
“How’s the hotel?”  
“Nice, probably too nice. The staff are really friendly.” Frank’s mother poured him a glass of juice and he took a sip. He had only mentioned the staff to keep the conversation going but now he had Gerard running through his mind.  
“You getting used to being alone?” Frank’s mother had always worried about his aversion to being left and through the years had hoped he would eventually grow out of it.  
“Err… I guess,” Frank said but his voice was too uncertain.  
“Frank. You are on your own there?”  
“I’m… ” his mother’s disappointed tone had Frank feeling anxious and he was sure he was pulling his Catholic guilt face.  
“You haven’t got some girl staying there, have you?”  
“No, Mom. I don’t have a girl staying with me,” Frank said honestly, pleased when his mother could tell he was telling the truth.  
“Good. You look good though, happy. Maybe you could get your own place…”  
“I don’t know, Mom. The hotel is kinda noisy and I know there’s people around, in the next room and things.”  
“Just like there would be in an apartment. It’s not that different,” his mother’s voice was harsh but Frank knew she was trying to help. Frank was enjoying the freedom of not being in his mother’s house but living alone was such a big step.  
“I know. I think… if I could find a roommate… then, maybe,” Frank said cautiously. He didn’t want to let his mother down so maybe that was the way to go.  
“I think that would be a good idea. Come on, let’s eat.”  
Frank ate lunch with his mother, chatting about the progress with the house, how she was enjoying living with her friend and both of her cats. Frank laughed in all of the right places and sympathised where he should, listened well and answered where appropriate. And although the whole experience was pleasant enough, Frank was keen to get back to the hotel once evening set in.

Frank parked his car in the hotel garage and headed for the reception; he was going to take the elevator right to his floor but he wanted to check the bar in case Gerard was waiting there for him. Gerard wasn’t in the bar and luckily, it wasn’t Jamia on the reception desk.  
When the elevator opened on his floor Frank saw Gerard sitting on the floor, his back against the room door. Gerard sprung to his feet and smiled when Frank started walking towards him.  
“Quick, open the door before Ray spots me,” Gerard said when Frank was close enough.  
“Ray?” Frank swiped the door and Gerard stepped inside instantly, dragging Frank through when he didn’t move fast enough and closing it swiftly.  
“Yeah. I told him I wasn’t working tonight. He’s getting pissy that I haven’t taken any jobs he’s offered for the last few days.”  
“I don’t wanna get you in trouble…” Frank suddenly felt guilty for monopolising Gerard’s time but not enough to send him away.  
“You’re not, Ray’s not my boss. He’s just like a twisted cupid, I guess,” Gerard said with a shrug. “Anyway, it’s not up to him if I work or not or who I’m with.”  
Gerard’s words reminded Frank of the main reason he was there. Frank had already counted out the money that morning to be sure he really could afford Gerard so he pulled the cash out of his pocket and put it in the usual place. Gerard was too busy unfastening his laces to see the action but he saw the pile of cash when he looked up. Gerard slipped his shoes off and headed for the bed and Frank slowly followed.  
“What do you feel like getting up to tonight?” Gerard asked, sitting next to Frank on the edge of the bed. There was something new about Gerard, something different but Frank couldn’t work out what.  
“I don’t know,” Frank said, too distracted by trying to decide what had changed… it was definitely something about Gerard’s face.  
“Well, no pressure, but…” Gerard pulled his toothbrush out of the pocket of his skinny jeans and gave Frank a suggestive wink. Frank laughed and Gerard joined in.  
“Please tell me that’s for your teeth and not… well, some creepy sex thing?”  
“I’m not gonna lie, Frankie, I’ve done a lot of weird shit, but I’ve never used a toothbrush during any kind of sex.” The men laughed together again and Gerard tossed his toothbrush onto the bedside table. Gerard shifted closer to Frank and kissed his lips. When they broke apart, Frank noticed what was different.  
"You're wearing eyeliner," it sounded accusing but Frank didn't mean it to.  
"Just a little." Gerard batted his eyelids and gave Frank a sweet smile. “When Jamia said it this morning you looked all, I don’t know, dreamy? I mean, I thought you would like to see it.”  
"For me?”  
"Only for you, Frankie. You like it, baby?"  
"Yeah...” Frank admitted. He stared at Gerard, trying to take in all of his beauty. It was more than that though; it made Gerard look sexy.  
"What?" Gerard asked, placing a hand on Frank's thigh.  
"I... shit, Gee. I really fucking like it," Frank murmured, fixing his eyes on the floor.  
“Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing.” Gerard placed a single finger under Frank’s chin and tilted his head back upright.  
“But…” Frank struggled to finish his sentence with Gerard’s dark framed eyes staring at him. Frank wet his lips and sighed softly.  
“Is it turning you on?” Gerard asked quietly, seriously. Frank couldn’t form the word he was looking for so he nodded instead. "Good, I worked hard at this. Any idea how tricky it is to not poke yourself in the eye with an inch long sharpened pencil?" Gerard nudged Frank's shoulder as he spoke and Frank let out a soft laugh. "Don't be ashamed, baby. Embrace the way you feel."  
"It's... difficult," Frank breathed. Gerard let go of his chin but Frank kept his own head upright. "I'm so confused. It's like... I don't even know who I am anymore."  
"You're Frank Anthony Iero. You always have been and you always will be."  
"But... "  
"It doesn't matter, Frank. So you like men? So you like women? Is it anyone’s business except yours? No."  
"I... I just, I don't know," Frank confessed.  
"Look at me, baby. I can clean my face if you want. I can leave. I'll do whatever you say, but I don't really think you want me to do either."  
"Stay," Frank said weakly, reaching out for Gerard's hand.  
"I will. But you gotta do what makes you happy, Frankie." Gerard squeezed Frank's fingers in reassurance and gave him a small smile. Frank strained his neck to reach up and brushed his lips against Gerard's.  
"This makes me happy," Frank said quietly. Gerard kissed him back, soft at first but deeper once Frank practically climbed onto his lap.  
"You drive me wild," Gerard whispered against Frank's neck, kissing the sensitive skin to make him shudder. Frank looked over Gerard's shoulder at the pillows then back at the older man's face. Gerard understood, he removed his arms from around Frank and let him move to lie out on the bed. Gerard crawled over Frank and kissed him again.  
"I love a man in a button up," Gerard purred. Frank looked down at his shirt and watched Gerard's fingers slowly undo each button.  
"As much as I like a man in eyeliner?" Frank gave an awkward laugh and blushed.  
"Probably more," Gerard said as Frank's shirt fell open. "But it's what's inside that counts." Gerard raised one eyebrow then ducked his head to kiss Frank's chest.  
Frank was squirming on the mattress by the time Gerard reached his left nipple; a small flick of the tongue and Frank was arching off the bed. There was no point holding back anymore, especially not now Gerard knew Frank so intimately. Each kiss and caress was designed to please Frank; it was something Frank had come to realise and he submitted to it.  
"Gee... please..." Frank panted as Gerard kissed a trail down to his navel.  
"What, baby?" Gerard looked Frank in the eye as he worked his hips against Frank's. The action made Frank moan and press back against Gerard, desperate for the contact and friction.  
"Want you," Frank whispered, chewing his bottom lip.  
"Want me to what?" Gerard flexed his hips again and Frank released his lip to groan.  
"No... I, Gee... fuck," Frank closed his eyes and turned his head away.  
"Clarify that, Frankie. You mean it like 'damn' because you're frustrated and can't find the words? Or you mean it like, fuck?" Gerard rolled his hips on the last word and Frank nodded through his moan.  
"Fuck," Frank murmured, pushing up against Gerard.  
"Okay, honey. If you're sure you're ready." Gerard placed a soft kiss on Frank's lips.  
"Can I...” Frank's face was caught somewhere between pleasure and frustration.  
"Say it," Gerard coaxed, kissing along Frank's raised collarbone.  
"I'm... I don't... can I fuck?" Frank stammered, looking everywhere but Gerard. There were a few seconds of silence while Gerard tried to process what Frank was trying to say.  
"You wanna top?" Gerard asked uncertainly.  
"No... not on top," Frank sighed and finally looked at Gerard. "I don't know... like, what to do... how to. But, I've never... not anything, inside."  
"I get it. Sorry, baby," Gerard said softly, kissing his lips to make up for not instantly understanding. "You want to fuck me, not have me fuck you, but you don't know how to," it was crude and inaccurate but Gerard purposely explained it in a way he knew Frank would understand.  
"Yeah... I'm not... not yet, not inside me."  
"Shhh, honey. It's fine." Gerard stroked Frank's jaw then kissed him again.  
"Is it different? From girls?" Frank asked quietly.  
"A little." Gerard covered Frank's face in light kisses to keep him comforted. "It's a different way, different technique."  
"I'm gonna do it all wrong," Frank said, his voice shaking as much as he was.  
"You're gonna be great, Frankie. How about I ride you?"  
"What?" Frank looked a little awed. It amused Gerard how much the man's expression flitted between fear, arousal, frustration and excitement.  
"You must have had a girl on top of you before? Like that. I'll do all the work and you can relax. Well, hopefully it won't be relaxing but you get what I mean," Gerard gave Frank a giggle and wink.  
"I... that sounds good," Frank said, most of the fear finally leaving his face.  
Frank let Gerard undress him while they kissed. He was keeping his anxiety pushed down, letting his excitement rule instead. He trusted Gerard; he wasn't going to laugh at him or tell him he was terrible at sex.  
Gerard got off the bed to undress himself. Before wriggling out of his jeans, he reached into his back pocket and threw two small, square, foil sachets to Frank.  
"Don't want you getting me pregnant," Gerard said with a grin as Frank examined the condom in its wrapper. Frank laughed then started reading the small blue writing on the second packet. Gerard straddled Frank, hovering over his groin.  
"Lubricant?" Frank questioned. Gerard had two fingers in his mouth so he just nodded at Frank. There was an obvious covering of saliva over Gerard's fingers when he withdrew them and Frank couldn't work out why.  
"Makes things easier," Gerard said with a nod to the silver packet in Frank's hand.  
"Oh," was all Frank could manage, he was too busy watching Gerard. The other man had reached his slick fingers beneath himself and was working them in and out. The act seemed so intimate that Frank felt he was intruding by staring so blatantly but Gerard didn't seem to mind. Something about the whole thing fascinated Frank and although he was worried about the potential of pain, he also started to wonder how good it might feel too.  
"Condom first, baby," Gerard said quietly, drawing Frank's attention back to the two foil packets. Frank carefully opened the condom and unrolled it with trembling hands. Gerard used his free hand and teeth to rip open the lubricant then very slowly squeezed out a tiny drop.  
"See? It's nothing to worry about, baby," he reassured Frank with a smile. Frank smiled back and Gerard leant forward for a brief kiss.  
With both hands, Gerard emptied the packet into his palm and worked the lubricant over Frank. The contact, though muted due to the condom, was enough to make Frank gasp then moan in pleasure. One more soft kiss on Frank’s lips then Gerard sat back, kneeling over Frank.  
“You stay stop, baby…”  
“I know you will,” Frank finished quietly. Gerard smiled then lined himself up, holding Frank right against him.  
“Try to stay still, Frankie, just at first,” Gerard said before breathing deeply. Slowly, Gerard sunk down, only stopping when the full head was inside him. The instant heat and tightness enveloped Frank, making it tough to follow Gerard’s instruction.  
“Sorry,” Frank whimpered when he thrust his hips, almost involuntary, once Gerard stopped.  
“It’s fine, baby. You’re doing so good.” Gerard placed his hand flat on Frank’s chest and continued moving down until Frank was completely inside him. The intensity was mind blowing; Frank hadn’t really expected the extremes of the pressure and warmth. Even though Gerard wasn’t moving, Frank was practically mewling.  
“Frankie? You doing okay?” Gerard asked, his voice slightly amused.  
“Yeah,” Frank panted, opening his eyes to look at Gerard. “It makes me happy.” Gerard swirled his hips and Frank dissolved into another unintelligible string of sounds.  
“Fuckin’ knew you were gonna sound amazing,” Gerard muttered, more to himself than to Frank. Gerard lifted himself then slowly sunk back down to Frank’s hips. The action made Frank cry out in pleasure and grip the bed sheets. Gerard moved again, a little faster and dropped down at a slightly different angle.  
On the third movement, Gerard squealed and threw his head back when he dropped his weight onto Frank’s hips. Frank looked at him curiously, trying to ignore the sheer pleasure running through his body.  
“I’m… not good?” Frank stuttered as Gerard pulled himself up.  
“Oh, baby, no. You’re so fucking good, I swear.” Frank wasn’t convinced but when Gerard dropped and let out another shrill noise, Frank realised it was a sound of pleasure.  
Gerard built up a steady rhythm, barely letting Frank recover from whatever sound he made before crashing down onto him once more. Frank wasn’t sure when it had happened but at some point Gerard had started to touch himself. Frank wanted to take over but every time he tried to uncurl his fingers from the bed sheets Gerard would bounce on him again, making them fist up with his moan.  
Frank forgot to be embarrassed at watching Gerard jacking himself off, instead he felt like it was probably the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He opened his mouth to tell Gerard but his words were replaced by an elongated groan as Gerard slammed onto him.  
“Gee... I’m close, Gee,” Frank panted before the man could flex his hips again.  
“Don’t hold back, baby,” Gee breathed, still not slowing the pace of his hips or his hand. After two smaller motions, Gerard dropped down heavily and yelled out Frank’s name as he came. Frank felt Gerard tighten around him and it pushed him over the edge, making his choked out groan sound almost inhuman.  
Gerard fell forward, pressing his chest against Frank’s as he searched for his lips. Frank didn’t even know what Gerard was aiming for but he responded greedily when he felt Gerard’s mouth on his.  
“Frankie, you’re amazing,” Gerard breathed when they broke apart.  
“It was you… all you,” Frank said dreamily and closed his eyes. Gerard started to push himself up but Frank cried out and clung to his shoulders.  
“Baby, the condom. And we need to clean up.”  
“No. Stay,” Frank whined and tightened his grip on Gerard. Without jostling Frank too much, Gerard reached between them and removed the condom, letting it drop to the floor beside the bed.  
“No…” Frank muttered, squirming but not fully alert. Gerard sighed and kissed his forehead then rested his head in the crook of Frank’s neck.  
“I’m not going anywhere,” Gerard said softly, fairly sure Frank couldn’t hear him.  
“Toothbrush…” Frank murmured then started to snore softly. Gerard smiled to himself and closed his eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

Frank woke up to find Gerard sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed with a cup of coffee, watching him. Gerard smiled when Frank opened his eyes and took a sip of his drink.  
“Is it morning?” Frank croaked.  
“It is, baby. I made coffee, you want one?” Gerard gestured to the tiny hotel cup and complimentary drinks tray.  
“No, thanks.” Frank dragged himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes.  
“You still tired, Frankie? You slept a long time.”  
“No, I’m fine. What time is it?” Frank stifled a yawn and stretched his arms.  
“After 11, I think.” Gerard finished his coffee and put the cup on the floor.  
“Your eyeliner,” Frank exclaimed when he realised it was missing.  
“Yeah, shower,” Gerard inclined his head towards the bathroom as he spoke. His bruise wasn’t visible though so Frank guessed he still had Jamia’s compact. “Speaking of which, you could use one.”  
Frank followed Gerard’s eye line and saw the dried fluid on his stomach from the night before. Gerard got up from the bed and walked over to Frank, bent over and kissed his lips softly.  
“Thank you,” Frank whispered.  
“For the kiss?”  
“For last night,” Frank blushed as he spoke.  
“You were unbelievable, Frankie,” Gerard said sincerely, making Frank blush harder. Gerard stood up and walked to the door to pull on his shoes.  
“Tonight?” Frank called out as Gerard reached for the door handle.  
“I had a feeling you were gonna say that,” Gerard said, winking at Frank over his shoulder then blowing him a kiss before slipping out of the room.  
Frank got up and stumbled over to the bathroom, his legs stiff from sleeping so long. His eyes were drawn to the table where his $200 had been the night before but not now. Frank didn’t have time to dwell on the empty space though, he was too busy beaming when he saw Gerard’s toothbrush in the glass by the sink.

Frank had slept later than he intended; not that he had any real plans for the day except hitting the ATM to get enough cash to afford Gerard for another night. The man was really starting to drain Frank’s resources, already burning through his bonus, but Frank didn’t want to think about what would happen when he ran out of money.  
When Frank was on his way out of the hotel, he chanced a quick look at the reception desk; unlucky for him Jamia was there, and she did not look happy.  
Frank kept his head down and walked as quickly as he could but it wasn’t fast enough. He felt a hand on his shoulder when he was just seconds away from the front doors and he knew who it belonged to before he even heard her voice.  
“Listen, I’m not gonna cause a scene,” Jamia’s voice was low and harsh. Frank turned to face her because he knew he had no choice, no escape.  
“It’s not what you think,” Frank blurted out, the oldest line in the book and it didn’t convince Jamia at all.  
“Really? Because it sure looked like Gee was fine then one night with you and he’s been beaten.” Jamia folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot impatiently.  
“I didn’t hit him,” Frank kept his voice quiet but it just made him seem guilty.  
“I don’t care how you did it but, I swear, you mark him again then there’ll be hell to pay.” Jamia looked like she meant it and Frank was a little scared of her.  
“I didn’t hurt him. It wasn’t me,” Frank said but Jamia just fixed him with an icy stare and walked away.  
Frank walked to the nearest ATM, still angry that Jamia thought he was capable of hurting Gerard. Frank’s mood didn’t improve when he found the ATM was out of order so he had to go inside the bank and speak to a teller. The woman was polite enough but when she conversationally asked him what he was going to spend his cash on Frank panicked. Not wanting to admit the truth he froze, blushed, blurted out it was for nothing then ran out of the place. The woman probably thought he was planning to buy drugs or something… Frank vowed never to go to the same branch again.  
Desperate to release his excess of energy and emotion, Frank hunted down the nearest musical instrument store. Frank pretended he was interested in buying something so he could play the guitars and the staff just let him get on with it. Around closing time though, Frank slipped out while they were distracted so he wouldn’t have to listen to their sales patter and ultimately refuse; he’d rather have Gerard for another night than a new guitar.  
Frank walked slowly back to the hotel, fearful of another confrontation from Jamia. He glanced at the reception desk first but breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a middle aged man standing behind it. Frank had a brief look in the bar too but he couldn’t see Gerard in there.  
The elevator was painfully slow and the anticipation Frank was feeling was completely sapped when the doors eventually opened; Gerard wasn’t sitting against his door like the night before, like Frank had expected. Frank stamped down the corridor and unlocked his room with an angry swipe of the key card.  
Inside the room, Frank kicked off his shoes and allowed himself a sigh of frustration. Why was he so angry that Gerard wasn’t already here? Could he call Gerard? Was that too needy? Surely he couldn’t have forgotten?  
Frank pulled his phone out of his pocket, still debating whether he should contact Gerard or not, and saw he had an unread message:  
‘Sorry, baby, something came up. I’ll be a little late, Gee x’  
The words were innocent enough but Frank could read between the lines. He knew what had come up; another client. Gerard wasn’t here because he was busy with some other guy. Frank didn’t want to think about it but somehow it was all his brain would focus on; Gerard with another man. Frank shouldn’t be angry and he knew he definitely shouldn’t be jealous. He had no claim on Gerard, he was just a client too.  
The more time that passed, the more torn up inside Frank became. Envy and suspicion churned in his stomach, making him paranoid and protective, feeding his anger and anxiety. The knock on his room door intensified the feelings but he felt an odd rush of relief when he opened it and saw Gerard.  
“Frankie, I’m so sorry,” Gerard said as he stepped into the room.  
“Really?” Frank asked, wanting to forgive the man but still harbouring too much resentment over the situation.  
“Yeah, of course.” Gerard leant forward and kissed Frank’s lips. When he pulled back, Gerard’s eyes reflexively flicked to the table where Frank hadn’t put his money down yet, then to Frank’s face. Frank didn’t miss it and, combined with all of his other feelings, it tipped him past the point of reason.  
“Other guy not pay you enough?” Frank spat. The venom in his tone made Gerard’s eyes widen in shock.  
“What other guy?”  
“The one you’ve been with, the reason you’re late,” Frank clarified, not in the mood to be taken for a fool.  
“I haven’t been with anyone else. I came straight from a meeting with my tutor after class,” Gerard answered calmly.  
“Don’t lie to me,” Frank shrieked. Gerard took a step back from Frank and eyed him with suspicion.  
“Frankie, look; I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes. I haven’t even been home today.”  
“Yeah, just moving from one idiot to the next. Grabbing the money and running.”  
“Frankie…” Gerard’s tone was a warning but Frank was too far gone to hear it.  
“No! No, Gerard! You fuck for money, that’s why you’re here,” Frank shouted, his fear and frustration taking over.  
“You need to calm down,” Gerard said, his voice growing louder.  
“You don’t understand. You just walk in, do your job, take the cash and walk out. But you changed me, Gerard. You fucking turned my world upside down and you don’t even care. It’s just about the money to you,” Frank screamed.  
“Is that what you think of me?” Gerard asked in a suddenly low voice.  
“You’re a whore, Gerard,” Frank spat, his eyes ablaze.  
“Yeah, I’m a fuckin’ whore. A filthy, fuckin’ slut. I’ve heard it all before, Frank. But I didn’t expect it from you,” Gerard raged, losing control a little himself.  
“You can’t deny it. It’s always gone, every morning. The money is all that matters. You twisted me, I don’t even like men,” Frank knew it was a lie as soon as he said it but he was way beyond rational.  
“Oh! So that’s what this is? Your Catholic guilt because you can’t handle your own sexuality?” Gerard accused.  
“Shut up.”  
“No, no, I fucking won’t. I’m a whore and you’re such a good Catholic boy, fuckin’ led astray by the dirty sinner. That how it is now?”  
“Get out,” Frank yelled. He didn’t want to hear what Gerard said anymore, he didn’t even want to look at him. Frank turned away and folded his arms around himself in a desperate attempt to find some comfort.  
“Tell me something first. This attack of conscience, this return to faith, have you looked to the good book for comfort?” Gerard challenged.  
“What?”  
“The bible. In the drawer. Go fucking read it, choir boy,” Gerard swore. Frank turned his head to stare at Gerard but the man just folded his arms across his chest, like Jamia had that morning, and waited. Frank marched over to the bed and yanked open the drawer of the bedside table. He didn’t need to open the leather bound book, didn’t even need to pick it up, to see why Gerard had told him to read it.  
“What?” Frank said softly to himself in disbelief. When he turned back to Gerard it made Frank feel sick with guilt to see the man had a single tear rolling down his cheek.  
“Every dollar, every fucking dollar, you ever paid me is in there. Count it if you don’t trust the word of a worthless, money grabbing whore.” Gerard hastily swiped the tear away then refolded his arms.  
“I…” Frank looked back down at the bible, its cover barely able to close properly due to all of the money sticking out of it.  
“I only took it so you wouldn’t suspect anything but every day I put it in there. I didn’t do any of this for the money.” Gerard wiped his face, sensing the dampness already there, but fresh tears sprung out anyway.  
“Why didn’t you say?” Frank asked quietly. All of his anger was gone now, replaced by contrition and sadness.  
“Because I’m a whore, Frank. I knew you wouldn’t be interested.”  
“No…” Frank started but Gerard cut him off  
“I care about you, alright? I really like you. I knew I should have stayed away but I couldn’t. And I couldn’t do it for the cash, not when I had such an amazing time with you, it wasn’t right.”  
“I paid you because I thought I had to. I didn’t think you would come back unless I had the money,” Frank confessed.  
“I’ve never stayed with a client overnight. Not once. But I wanted to stay with you, Frankie. I wanted to hold you, to kiss you, tell you how beautiful you are. But not because it was my job or you were paying me to, but because I wanted to.”  
“I’m so sorry, I… I didn’t know,” Frank said, breaking into a sob.  
“No. But now you do. I‘ve never taken a penny from you. You were never just a job to me, Frank,” Gerard said sadly. Gerard gave Frank one longing look then turned away, reaching for the door handle, shaking his head.  
“Don’t go,” Frank called. Gerard stopped but didn’t turn around.  
“What, Frankie?”  
“Gee… I really like you,” Frank said in a small voice. It was so clear to Frank now, all the jealousy and the misdirected rage, it was all because he really cared about Gerard.  
“You like what I do to you,” Gerard repeated his words from their first night together but his voice was flat, broken.  
“No. It’s more… so much more than that.” The words made Gerard turn and face Frank again. Eyes shimmering and legs shaking, Frank took a step towards Gerard, relief coursing through him when the man did the same.  
“Say it, Frankie,” Gerard coaxed, closing the distance between them when Frank stared at the floor. One finger lifted his chin and Frank was staring into Gerard’s eyes; so calm, so sad, yet full of affection and support.  
“Gerard… I’m gay,” Frank choked out before falling to his knees and breaking down into uncontrollable sobbing. Gerard dropped to the floor and wrapped his arms around Frank letting the man cry onto his chest.  
“It’s okay, baby,” Gerard cooed, kissing the tears from Frank’s eyes.  
“I… I…” Frank tried to speak between dragging air into his starved lungs, his fingers clinging to Gerard’s t-shirt. The weight of the realisation was crushing and Frank didn’t know how to deal with it.  
“Shhh now, honey. I’m not going anywhere,” Gerard promised as he stroked Frank’s hair.  
“You’ll… s-s-s-stay? With me?” Frank managed then swallowed deeply. Gerard nodded then brushed his lips against Frank’s.  
“As long as you’ll have a boyfriend who snores,” Gerard said with a smile and Frank’s tears, for a moment, turned to laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this sounds like the end but it's not.  
> Unless you want it to be.  
> I mean, if you're happy with this being the end then just stop reading right here :)  
> There is more though if you wanna still hang out....  
> See you in the next chapter (or not!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here? Alright!  
> Things are gonna change a little, well, evolve really I guess since their relationship is growing and altering.  
> Hope you enjoy the rest of their journey!

Frank woke up, still wrapped in Gerard's arms and fully clothed on top of the blankets. Frank didn't remember moving from the floor to the bed but at some point he clearly had. Had Gerard carried him?  
"Good morning, Frankie," Gerard whispered then kissed the top of his head.  
"Hey," Frank croaked. He tried to clear his throat but it just made his head ring. His face felt strangely stiff, the leftover marks of so many dried tears on his cheeks.  
"How you feeling?"  
"Sore, mostly," Frank answered honestly. "And stupid. I'm so sorry for saying those things."  
"Don't worry, baby," Gerard said softly.  
"I didn't mean them... I, I was... angry and jealous and... confused," Frank tried to explain, sitting up to look Gerard in the eyes as he spoke.  
"It's okay. Trust me, I was way worse when I came out. I beat the shit out of my little brother because he laughed and said they had all known for ages."  
"Really?" Frank couldn't imagine Gerard being violent.  
"Yep. Broke his nose and cracked a rib."  
"I wouldn't hit you," Frank said, cringing with the memory of Jamia confronting him. Thinking of her Frank realised that, even though she was outstandingly pretty, he no longer really felt that attracted to her.  
"I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, Frankie." Gerard kissed Frank's lips and pulled him closer. "I should have told you about the money at the start. I didn't think you cared about me though, just the sex."  
"I shouldn't have been so... I don't know, Catholic?"  
Gerard let out his trademark giggle and Frank laughed with him. Frank wriggled in Gerard's arms, holding himself closer to the man; it was the only comfort and constant he had.  
"You're so cute," Gerard said with a sigh, squeezing Frank tighter.  
"What time do you have to leave?" Frank asked reluctantly. Now the truth was out he wasn't sure he could ever let his boyfriend go.  
"No class today, it's Saturday. I can stay all day."  
"Tonight?" Frank was hopeful Gerard would stay but he didn't miss the fact he had said 'day'.  
"I haven't made any money all week, baby. I really have to work," Gerard's voice was tense and it took Frank a slow second to work out why; Gerard's work was sleeping with other men.  
"Oh. I... I guess that's..."  
"I can't afford not to, baby. I got rent to pay and college."  
"I know," Frank swallowed hard.  
"It's only temporary. I'm in my last year now and as soon as I've paid my fees and shit I'll look for something else."  
"Okay," Frank said, not really sure if it was. He wanted to be with Gerard though… and he knew the man’s job; it was the first thing he had ever learnt about him.  
"It doesn't mean anything, Frankie. It's not like with you." Gerard stroked Frank's cheek. "I know it's difficult. I've never had a boyfriend who could deal with what I do, it's why I gave up looking."  
"I...I'll try. I get... kinda jealous," Frank warned Gerard.   
"I'm always coming home to you, Frankie, I swear. This week is the first time in a long while that I've not had to fake the screaming or moaning," Gerard’s words made Frank blush, but not as much as usual.   
“Can… I don’t want to be a jerk or… but can we maybe set some rules?” Frank couldn’t let his embarrassment or vulnerability get the better of him if he was going to have a serious conversation with Gerard.  
“Rules?” Gerard questioned.  
“Like, I don’t… don’t want you to call them ‘baby’. You know, like you call me,” Frank said then cleared his throat. He felt stupid talking out loud about things that Gerard probably deemed unimportant but they mattered to Frank. If things were going to work then Frank knew there had to be boundaries.  
“Okay. I mean, I’ll try not to call them anything but if I have to then it’ll be ‘sugar’, I know you hate that.” Gerard nodded his head like he thought the rules were a good idea.  
“I don’t want them to see your face,” Frank told Gerard.  
“You want me to wear a mask?” Gerard pulled a thoughtful face like he was considering it but Frank knew he was joking, trying to lighten the atmosphere.  
“No… I mean, during sex.”  
“Not a problem, most of the time they don’t wanna see it anyway,” Gerard said and shrugged.  
“What?” Frank couldn’t understand why you would pay so much for a man as beautiful as Gerard then not want to look at his face.  
“It’s easier for them to pretend I’m not a man if they do it from behind,” Gerard almost cringed as he spoke, knowing the words would hurt Frank. It did sting Frank to hear it but he pretended like it didn’t.  
“You don’t swallow and they don’t blow you,” Frank said firmly, internally relieved he was at the end of his demands but still unsure how he really felt about the whole situation.  
“Business as usual then. I did them both with you because it was you, it’s not my standard policy.”  
“Good.” Frank relaxed since Gerard had agreed to everything he said; it gave him a feeling of trust and loyalty.  
“And just so you know, I always use protection. I don’t allow biting, hitting, choking or tying up.”  
“Me too,” Frank said with a small smile.  
“Oh! The sass! I can’t deal with this, go back to being that shy, straight Jersey kid.” Gerard rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Frank’s shoulder.  
“Do shy, straight Jersey kids take showers with their boyfriends?” Frank asked then instantly glowed bright red. Frank felt more confident in his own skin since his revelation but he hadn’t changed that much.  
“None that I know,” Gerard said playfully.  
“Then, no can do. Guess I’ll just have to be plain old, gay Frank Anthony Iero,” Frank said as he hopped off the bed. He tried to make his walk to the bathroom confident even though his insides were churning with nerves and excitement.  
“Well, plain old, gay Frank Anthony Iero, I’m gonna fuckin’ bite you whether you like it or not, you goddamn tease,” Gerard purred in his most seductive voice as he followed.

The day went quicker than Frank wanted it to. After their shower (which Gerard spent most of on his knees) they decided to eat lunch in Frank’s room then watch a movie. Sitting on the couch, curled up on Gerard’s chest and watching a cheesy comedy felt so natural to Frank that he couldn’t believe the man hadn’t always been in his life.  
“I better go,” Gerard said once the credits rolled.  
“You said all day,” Frank reminded him.  
“I know, baby, but I gotta change. This is day three in these clothes now and I slept in them last night.”  
“Are you working here tonight?” Frank asked even though he knew the answer.  
“Yeah. But I’ll come right back to your room as soon as I’m done,” Gerard promised.  
“What if there’s a job next door? I don’t… wanna hear you,” Frank forced the words out, remembering the time he had heard Gerard and Mr 411.  
“I won’t take any work on this floor.” Gerard kissed Frank’s forehead to reassure him.  
“What if I see you in the bar? Or the elevator?” Frank was starting to panic, he had to remind himself to breathe; he wanted this relationship with Gerard - no matter the cost.  
“I can’t guarantee that you won’t… but maybe you should get out of here. Why don’t you stay at my place tonight?” Gerard offered.  
“Really?” Frank desperately wanted some separation from Gerard’s work and where he had to spend his time now that he was starting to over think it.  
“Why not? Then you can see that I meant it when I said I’ll always come home to you.”   
“I’d like that,” Frank said quietly, his head full of where Gerard might live and what his bedroom would look like.

Frank drove his own car, following Gerard to his apartment on the outskirts of town. It didn’t look as nice as Frank’s neighbourhood but it was nice enough. They left their cars parked on the street and Gerard led Frank to the top floor, Apartment 21.  
“It ain’t much, but it’s home,” Gerard said as he pushed the door open. Frank stepped into the main room of the apartment and looked around. There was a couch and a television, a coffee table and an overly loaded bookshelf next to a set of double doors that led onto a tiny balcony. Almost every bit of wall was filled with art; bright paints, subdued pastels, dark charcoal sketches. Frank had never seen so many different styles, so many different subject matters, yet they all felt somehow in sync.  
“So, you like art?” Frank said then immediately regretted saying something so obvious.  
“Yep. Sorry, I know it’s vain.” Gerard shut the door then dropped his keys in a bowl on a small table.  
“Why vain?”  
“Because it is,” Gerard said simply. Frank screwed up his face in confusion and Gerard almost echoed the expression. “I don’t get many visitors so nobody has commented on it before but I’ve always known it’s an ego trip.”  
“Ego? All I was thinking was they must have cost you more money than the apartment is worth,” Frank tried to explain. Gerard stared at Frank then started laughing.  
“Oh, baby. You know how to compliment a man. I made a good fucking choice, you are a keeper,” Gerard said then kissed the top of Frank’s head.  
“I…” Frank started, completely confused, but Gerard cut him off.  
“They’re mine, Frankie. I made all of these,” Gerard swung his arms around the room as he spoke, gesturing to the many pieces of art littering the walls.  
“No way,” Frank exclaimed. He stepped away from Gerard to look at the pieces more closely, noticing that most were unsigned but a few sported a single ‘G’ underneath an ‘xoxo’.  
“You wanna see the rest of the place or just stare at these worthless scraps of paper?” Gerard asked, breaking Frank’s obsessive visual scrutinising of the two biggest pieces in front of him.  
“They are amazing. You’re so talented,” Frank said, looking at Gerard with a renewed awe.  
“Tell that to my teacher, the guy keeps hassling me about not having started my final piece. He told me yesterday after class that it’s because I don’t have the talent to pull it off.”  
“The guy is clearly an idiot. You study art?”  
“Fine art,” Gerard corrected with a nod. “Come on.” Gerard took hold of Frank’s hand and tugged him through a door way into the next room.  
The kitchen was a decent size with a table and two chairs easily fitting at the other side of the counter. The only appliance that looked like it got any use was the coffee machine, sitting uncleaned next to the sink.  
“I didn’t intended to not come home for three days,” Gerard explained, quickly dumping out the filter full of old grounds. The only other thing out of place was a cup in the sink waiting to be washed.  
Next Gerard showed Frank the bathroom, equipped with a shower and bath tub. The suite was plain and white but Gerard explained his landlord was intending to upgrade it soon. The next door they came to was closed and Gerard hesitated outside it.  
“My studio,” Gerard said to Frank in a low voice. Gerard swung the door open after a pause but kept his arm across the frame. “I don’t really like people being in here.”  
“I won’t go in,” Frank promised. He poked his head in the door and saw an old wooden desk with a plush office chair. The room smelt vaguely of chemicals and there were more pieces tacked to the wall than in the main room but they were all in various states of completion; there were lots of screwed up balls of paper on the floor too. Gerard pulled the door closed as soon as Frank’s head was out of the way and dragged him to the last room.  
“My bedroom,” Gerard announced as Frank stepped though the door. Gerard’s bed was angled so it faced out of the large window on the far wall, a built in double wardrobe, seemingly bursting with clothes, filled the other wall.  
“Nice,” Frank said, his eye catching the view out of the window.  
“Yeah, I know it’s a weird position for the bed but it’s worth it.” Gerard followed Frank across the room, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist and resting his head on his shoulder. The bedroom window looked out over the dwindling edge of the city, giving way to vast green spaces and the perfect sunset.

Gerard dressed for the night in black skinny jeans and a too tight white t-shirt. Frank watched while Gerard laced his boots, desperately trying to swallow his anxiety.  
"I'll be back as soon as I can, Frankie," Gerard promised.  
"I know. I'll miss you," Frank said quietly, trying not to think about where Gerard was going, who he might be seeing.  
"I'll miss you too, baby." Gerard stood and kissed Frank's lips. "How do I look?"  
"Like I'd pay $200 to fuck you," Frank was aiming for humour but he could tell by the look in Gerard's eyes it landed more on the side of seductive.  
"Maybe I need a tighter shirt then," Gerard said, pulling the already stretched material over his stomach. "I'm putting my price up, $250, so I better make sure I look like I'm worth it."  
"I can't afford you anymore then," Frank said with a sly smile. He knew why Gerard was charging more; it meant he had to take less jobs and spend less time away from Frank.  
"Since you're so cute I guess I can throw you a freebie," Gerard winked and grinned wickedly.  
"Hurry home," Frank whispered as he stood to say goodbye to his boyfriend.  
"As soon as I've made rent." Gerard crushed Frank's lips with his own, pulling the man against him then letting him go, like he didn't trust himself to not take things further. "There's food in the fridge, help yourself to anything."  
And then Frank was alone, in a strange apartment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me? Good :)  
> Sorry if the last chapter was slow but it was essential. Story will pick up more from here, lots for our boys to work on!

Frank paced nervously for the first hour that Gerard was gone, trying to keep his breathing calm and his head level. Frank wasn't hungry enough to eat or tired enough to sleep but he didn't want to keep walking back and forth. After too much internal debate, Frank decided to sit on the couch.  
There was a lot to think about, almost too much, as Frank tried to work through everything from the last week. Had it really only been a week since he met Gerard? Frank barely knew where to start. Things had changed so much.  
Frank knew now, was completely certain, that he was gay (not that he could tell his mother) he had his first boyfriend (who worked as a prostitute) and he had managed to spend almost a whole week living alone (in a hotel full of guests and with Gerard by his side most nights). In short, there were positives and negatives.  
Frank's train of thought was derailed by a peculiar sound. Frank’s mind went into overdrive, his heart pounding and palms sweating; it was the kind of noise you expect in your childhood nightmares, the ones that make you fear being left alone. It was scratchy, like nails on wood, and for an irrational second Frank thought Gerard might have someone locked up in a cupboard... or in his forbidden art studio.  
Frank managed to calm his breathing and chase away the completely delusional fears, then he listened harder; Frank was good at staying quiet and picking out any tiny noise. The sound was so faint that Frank probably wouldn't have heard it if he had the television on. It was so quiet that Frank decided that it wasn't actually in the apartment at all.  
Gerard's apartment was the top floor so Frank laid flat on the floor and pressed his ear against the bare floorboards, just to be sure the sound was coming from downstairs. There it was, and there was something else too; a light metallic sound alongside it.  
Frank laughed to himself, completely letting go of any remaining fear. It was a dog. The people downstairs had a dog; it was his nails Frank could hear clipping along their wooden floor, occasionally punctuated by its bell ringing around its neck. Frank wondered if Gerard knew his neighbours and what kind of dog it might be. Frank had always loved animals but his mother hadn't allowed any pets.  
If Frank moved out though, then he could have a dog. But alone with a dog was still alone, Frank wasn't sure if a dog would be enough of a comfort on a dark night... or if he was even brave enough to move out.  
Frank lay on the floor a little longer, listening to the dog and imagining what it looked like. When the sound stopped (the dog having fallen asleep, Frank had decided) Frank pushed himself up and went back to pacing; not nervously this time, just to look at Gerard's art work.  
All of the pieces were excellent, they all had their individual charms that Frank was enraptured by; he could hardly believe how talented Gerard was. Frank decided his favourite piece was a watercolour of a single red flower, simple but striking. His least favourite (though he really didn't dislike any) was a charcoal sketch of angular, harsh, unrecognisable shapes surrounding a head in silhouette; it was chaotic and haunting.  
"Honey, I'm home," Gerard called out as he pushed the door open, a cheesy grin in place. "Man, I've always wanted to say that."  
"Gee!" Frank exclaimed, turning on the spot to face the door and greet his boyfriend.  
"You miss me?" Gerard asked.  
"So much," Frank admitted with a blush.  
"Just let me shower and I'll be right with you." Gerard dropped his keys in the bowl and walked straight to his bedroom. Frank was going to point out that Gerard had already showered but then he realised exactly why Gerard would want to wash before he came near Frank.  
Once Frank heard the bathroom door close, he decided to wait for Gerard in his bedroom. The view from the window had changed due to the lack of sunlight and Frank became fascinated with trying to match up the tiny lights with the view he remembered from earlier. Frank rested his head on his hands, leaning over and resting his elbows on the windowsill.  
"Any idea how good you look?" Gerard's voice shocked Frank and he stood upright, spinning to face the sound. Gerard was stood in the doorway, his hair wet and a white towel tucked around his waist.  
"What?" Frank replied, his heart thumping from the surprise.  
"Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare you." Gerard crossed the room and put his hands on Frank's hips. "I just wanted you to know how good your ass looks in those jeans when you bend over."  
"It doesn't," Frank mumbled, knowing his body looked anything but good... from any angle.  
"If it doesn't," Gerard whispered, pausing to kiss Frank's neck and slip his hands round to squeeze his ass "then why is this towel staying up on its own?"  
Frank chanced a quick glance down and saw exactly what Gerard was talking about. Gerard's erection dug against Frank's thigh as he leaned closer to bring their lips together. It shocked Frank and for a brief second he didn’t react to the kiss; Frank tried not to think about the minty taste of Gerard's breath and why the man had brushed his teeth before kissing Frank.  
"I didn't know if... you would, you know, want to," Frank admitted when they broke apart, letting his leg press against Gerard.  
"Frankie, the only thing that's got me through is knowing I was coming home to you, baby." Gerard's words sent a shiver of pleasure through Frank. Gerard wanted him, nobody else. Frank stepped back and Gerard's face was very slightly anxious until Frank reached out and let the towel fall to the floor.  
"I missed you so much," Frank admitted again. Gerard opened his mouth to answer but all that came out was a deep, guttural groan because Frank had dropped to his knees and taken Gerard in his mouth.  
Frank wanted to show Gerard how much he had missed him, how much he cared, and this was the best way he could think of; he knew nobody else would have sucked him that night.  
This time Frank wrapped his fingers around Gerard before he started moving back and forth so he didn't gag when Gerard suddenly drove his hips forward. Frank felt Gerard's fingers weave into his hair almost instantly after and he was soothed by the contact of the soft fingertips on his scalp.  
"Sorry, baby," Gerard panted then moaned. "Didn't... didn't mean to." Not willing to stop when Gerard was clearly enjoying it so much, Frank just hummed a positive sound around him. Frank didn't think about what it would do to Gerard so he wasn't expecting it when the fingers tightened around his hair and Gerard almost screamed.  
"So fuckin' good, Frankie," Gerard whimpered, pulling the man's hair a little. Frank didn't mind, he let Gerard know by humming again; secretly pleased when it got an even stronger response.  
Frank looked up at Gerard when he heard the man's breathing start to become erratic. Gerard was looking down at him, his eyes full of lust and desire. The eye contact was intense, Frank couldn't look away from the stunning face above him and he knew it was pushing Gerard closer to have his lover look at him with so much affection.  
"Frankie..." Gerard whined, his voice a warning and a sound of pleasure at the same time. "Shit, baby... I'm..."  
Frank wanted Gerard, all of him. He knew what the words meant so he let go of Gerard with his hand and forced his head forward until his nose hit Gerard's skin. Frank gagged, he knew he would, when Gerard's cock was completely in his mouth but he forced himself to stay there as Gerard emptied himself directly into his throat.  
Gerard unwound his fingers as quickly as he could so Frank could move back. Eyes watering and throat still spasming, Frank pulled away and let Gerard's cock fall from his mouth. Both of the men were still panting when Frank got to his feet and hugged himself against Gerard's chest.  
"Baby..." Gerard started then kissed the top of Frank's head.  
"I missed you," Frank said in a small voice.  
"Then I need to leave more often," Gerard said with a small laugh, reflexively tightening his arms around Frank so he knew it was just a joke.  
"You liked it?"  
"It was unbelievable." Gerard tipped Frank's head back to kiss his lips. "You didn't have to take it all though. How's your throat?"  
"Fine," Frank lied, trying to ignore the taste and ache. "I just wanted you... all of you." Frank was trying not to think about all the other men who might have been with Gerard, he wanted it to be just the two of them. He wanted Gerard to want only him, just the same as Frank felt.  
"Oh, baby, I'm all yours. Always," Gerard said quietly then kissed him again, sensing Frank’s anxiety. "You deserve something special for that though."  
"Like what?" Frank asked, his voice trembling with excitement and uncertainty. Gerard grabbed hold of Frank's t-shirt and pulled it off, letting it fall on top of the discarded towel.  
"Nothing you won't like," Gerard said teasingly as his hands started unzipping Frank's jeans.  
"Not... I'm, Gee... I'm not ready for..." Frank stuttered. He didn't want to scare off Gerard but he still wasn't ready for sex... not that way.  
"I know, baby." Gerard kissed his lips softly. "Don't panic, I won't do that until you ask, until you're ready." Frank nodded then pulled off his own jeans and boxers since Gerard had stopped undressing him, clearly to show Frank was in control and there was no pressure. Gerard smiled at Frank then tilted his head towards the bed.  
“Damn, that ass,” Gerard breathed then lightly slapped Frank’s behind as he crawled onto the bed.  
“No hitting,” Frank said in a mock offended tone, playfully eyeing Gerard as he lay back against the pillows.  
“Then stop waving it in my face,” Gerard warned in his sing song voice. “Because next time, I’m definitely gonna bite it.” Gerard crawled over Frank, dipping his head to kiss his lips.  
“You’re crazy,” Frank said then ducked his head. “I’m not… my body isn’t great.”  
“You, Frankie, are fuckin’ perfect. You better start to believe it.” Gerard’s words made Frank blush so Gerard kissed him until it faded and desire was the most dominant feature on his face.  
“Please, Gee,” Frank murmured, rocking his hips.  
“Oh yeah. Something special for my baby,” Gerard said thoughtfully. “You want me to show you why I was squealing so bad when we fucked?”  
“Show me?” Frank repeated, swallowing hard.  
“Not sex. Just one finger.” Gerard held up his index finger for Frank’s inspection.  
“Only one?” Frank confirmed warily.  
“We’ll start easy, baby. You don’t like it and I’ll stop.”  
“Inside me?” Frank whispered, finally understanding the full picture.  
“We can use lots of lube and I’ll be really gentle. I promise it will feel good, Frankie. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think you would enjoy it.” Gerard kissed Frank’s lips softly.  
“I trust you,” Frank said quietly. “Will it hurt?”  
“It might sting a little, just because you’re not used to it. If you relax and don’t fight it then it will be easier,” Gerard said soothingly.  
“If it’s too bad…”  
“Then we can stop. I promise.”  
Frank let Gerard kiss him, felt his hands exploring his chest and stomach, and tried to relax. He was safe with Gerard, there was no need to be scared of him or what he might say. Gerard rolled away a little to search the drawer by his bed then gave Frank another quick kiss before sitting back on his hips.  
The sound of the bottle of lubricant being snapped open was strangely ominous in the quiet room but Frank tried not to let it disturb his inner calm. Frank watched as Gerard poured some of the slimy substance into his hand then coated his index finger.  
“I’m not going inside yet, just playing,” Gerard said with a reassuring smile. He wrapped his fingers around Frank’s hard cock, his hand sliding up and down easily thanks to the left over lubricant on his palm.  
Frank moaned at the feel of Gerard’s fist slowly working him. It was easy to relax, so easy now to be carefree, when Gerard was touching him. Gerard ran the back of his hand down Frank’s thigh and pushed on it slightly.  
“Up a little, baby,” Gerard whispered but Frank didn’t understand. “Angle your hips a little higher.” Frank did as Gerard asked but it wasn’t exactly comfortable. Frank sat up and Gerard instantly let go of him.  
“No,” Frank didn’t want Gerard to stop.  
“It’s fine, honey. You okay?”  
“Yeah, I just…” Frank grabbed a pillow from behind his head and shuffled it under his lower back so Gerard would be able to reach him. “I wasn’t comfortable so I knew I wouldn’t be relaxed,” Frank explained as he lay back down.  
“Oh, that’s good. You want me to carry on?” Gerard asked with a smile. Frank reached for Gerard’s hand and guided it back to his waiting cock. A few slow pumps and Frank was moaning again.  
Gerard’s other hand slipped between Frank’s legs again, this time not needing to adjust the position. Frank felt Gerard’s wet finger slowly circle his hole and he fought to stay still. The urge to squirm was overpowering; as much as Frank wanted to pull himself away from the unusual contact, he also wanted Gerard to push inside him.  
“You ready?” Gerard asked softly, looking Frank in the eye. Frank nodded and kept his eyes locked on Gerard’s. “Take a deep breath, Frankie. I’ll go slow.”  
Frank did as Gerard said and tried to remember to relax. Frank hissed out some of the air his lungs were holding as Gerard edged his fingertip inside. There couldn’t be more than a few centimetres inside him yet Frank’s body was already trying to reject the intrusion.  
“Don’t tense up, baby. It’s just me,” Gerard cooed, letting go of Frank’s cock to stroke his thigh.  
“I know,” Frank answered, his voice strained. He wanted to relax, he wanted this, he wanted Gerard. Another deep breath and Frank desperately pleaded with his body to calm down. Gerard pushed a little further and Frank gasped as he felt the finger slowly sliding into him.  
“You okay, Frankie? Almost there,” Gerard promised.  
“Yeah,” Frank whispered, feeling himself tighten as something wider worked inside, clearly Gerard’s knuckle.  
“Just another inch, baby. You’re doing so good,” Gerard told him. Frank wasn’t sure he could take another inch, his body felt full enough. He didn’t want Gerard to stop though so he tried to breathe through it. “There.”  
Gerard kept his finger still inside Frank, letting him adjust to the feeling. Frank took two deep breaths and willed his body to accept the finger rather than fight against it.  
“That’s… weird,” Frank said when he relaxed enough to speak. Gerard smiled and blew him a kiss.  
“You did great, baby. Does it hurt?”  
“Not really hurt… I mean, it did sting at first… now it just feels strange.”  
“You’ll get used to it,” Gerard said confidently.  
“It feels… okay. It’s not making me squeal though,” Frank said, more to try to make Gerard laugh and not reveal the extent of his discomfort.  
Gerard arched one eyebrow then flexed his finger inside Frank. The sensation made Frank feel as if all of his bones had turned to jelly, every single nerve in his body was alive and screaming; just like Frank. Gerard moved his finger back and waited, with his eyebrow still raised, until Frank caught his breath.  
"You were saying?"  
"Wh... what was that?" Frank panted, his eyes still a little hazy with pleasure.  
"Your prostate, baby. And you're welcome." Gerard winked and applied pressure to the sweet spot again, making Frank cry out. Frank wasn't sure how long he could hold back so he was grateful when Gerard starting stroking him again, making sure his finger kept in time with his fist.  
Just five quick pumps was all it took before Frank was calling Gerard's name. As soon as Frank was done, Gerard released the pressure from his prostate; not wanting to over stimulate the man. Frank was so high, eyes rolling back and babbling softly, he didn't even notice when Gerard eased his finger out.  
"You like that, baby?" Gerard asked.  
"You... nngghh... I, I, I... hmmm," Frank gave up trying to speak and settled for nodding his head, not an easy task either when his body felt completely disconnected. He heard Gerard chuckle and desperately tried to focus on his lover's face.  
"I can't believe how fuckin' good you sound, Frankie," Gerard told him. Frank didn't feel embarrassed, he couldn't feel anything except completely satisfied, but his cheeks still coloured a little. Gerard leant forward to kiss one reddened cheek then hopped off the bed.  
By the time Frank had enough composure to lift his head and call out for Gerard, the man was back. Frank smiled when Gerard entered the room and dropped his head back to the pillow.  
"Where you go?" Frank slurred, sounding either drunk or very tired.  
"To wash my hands, Frankie." Gerard's words made Frank's eyebrows knit together over his closed eyes. "One's been in your ass, baby, and you came all over the other."  
"Oh."  
"I brought you a towel too, I didn't think you would wanna move," Gerard said then laughed lightly. Frank lifted his arm and waved his hand dismissively before dropping it back to the bed.  
"So fuckin' cute," Frank heard Gerard mutter. Frank felt the man dabbing at his stomach with a towel; he wanted to tell him to leave it but he fell asleep before he could even open his mouth.


	15. Chapter 15

In the morning, Frank woke up before Gerard; the red haired man was snoring softly and clutching Frank against his chest. Frank craned his neck and reached up to kiss the underside of Gerard’s jaw; on his second time back towards Gerard’s ear, he woke up.  
“Good morning,” Frank whispered shyly, feeling a little guilty for waking him but pleased to not feel so alone.  
“Morning, Frankie,” Gerard said, stifling a yawn.  
“I like waking up with you,” Frank admitted. Frank wanted to say that he liked waking up in Gerard’s bed but his bravery only went so far.  
“Much better here than a hotel,” Gerard said as though he had plucked the thought directly from Frank’s head. Frank nodded against Gerard’s chest then kissed the soft skin. A strange silence hung in the air, not exactly awkward but like both men were leaving something left unsaid; and both of them could sense it.  
“There’s a dog downstairs,” Frank blurted out, desperate to make Gerard talk again.  
“What?”  
“I heard it yesterday.” Frank cringed at how stupid he sounded.  
“Was it barking?” Gerard shuffled them both more upright but still kept Frank held close to him.  
“No… just walking. Do you ever see it?”  
“Sometimes. It’s the old lady’s… Mrs Vaughan’s dog. How did you hear it walking?” Gerard asked, his voice showing his confusion though his face was only kind.  
“I… it’s a new place… and…” Frank bit his lip and looked away from Gerard.  
“You don’t like to be alone, I know,” Gerard said softly, stroking Frank’s back. “If it was too quiet you could have played some music.”  
“It was okay. I liked knowing the dog was there. What is it?”  
“Errr, a spaniel? King Charles or something? It’s got huge ears.”  
“I bet it’s cute,” Frank said excitedly, thinking about how great it would be if he could bump into Mrs Vaughan and her dog before he left Gerard’s apartment.  
“Not as cute as you.” Gerard smiled and kissed Frank’s lips.

Frank’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, just as he and Gerard had finished eating lunch. Frank scrambled to answer it in time, the surprise making his fingers more clumsy than usual.  
“Hello?” Frank hadn’t looked at the caller ID before answering.  
“Frank. It’s your mother.” Linda Iero did not sound in a good mood.  
“Hi, Mom,” Frank said, his eyes locked on Gerard’s. Gerard smiled then put one finger over his closed lips.  
“How’s the hotel?”  
“Fine,” Frank said without missing a beat. She knew, she knew he wasn’t there; why else would she ask? Frank clearly looked as panicked as he felt because Gerard’s face was twisting into one of concern.  
“Good because you might have to stay there while longer.”  
“What?” Frank was definitely panicking, he had barely heard a word she said.  
“Pardon, Frank, not what. I said you might have to stay longer. I spoke to the builders yesterday, the damage is worse than the insurance thought. They are having to reassess it all and process new paperwork before they can continue with the repair.”  
“Oh,” Frank said quietly. He realised he had been holding his breath and quickly filled his lungs. Gerard stood up and started towards him, reaching out to touch his shoulder.   
“It could be weeks, Frank. Even months.”  
“It’s okay,” Frank said, more to Gerard than his mother.  
“Really? You want to be there longer?”  
“I guess,” Frank said meekly when he realised what he had said and how it must sound to his mother.  
“If you’re happy enough with that, Frank, then why don’t you start looking? For your own place, I mean,” his mother was speaking kindly but forcefully. She wanted nothing more than for Frank to stand on his own two feet but wasn’t overly interested whether it would cause him more damage.  
“I’m… I go back to work tomorrow. I’m busy,” Frank tried the first excuse he could think of.  
“You work in a library, Frank. There’s newspapers and computers, it’s probably the easiest place to search for somewhere to live,” his mother’s voice was becoming less kind; the woman wasn’t easily fooled and didn’t have time for those who tried to.  
“And it’s expensive,” Frank tried again to close the subject.  
“You have more money than me, Frank. I think this is a really good thing. You need to be independent.”  
“I know,” Frank murmured, defeated. Gerard rubbed his shoulder and Frank sighed from the contact.  
“This has been interesting for me too, you know. Living without you,” his mother said, her voice getting higher. Frank knew she was building to something; that change of pitch normally signified he was in trouble for something or she was going to announce something he wouldn’t like.  
“What do you mean?” Frank asked, trying to speed up the process.  
“I love you, Frank. And you’ll always have a home with me if you need it, but…”  
“But?” Frank prompted when his mother didn’t finish the sentence.  
“When the house is fixed… I don’t think you should come back home,” Linda finished sadly.  
“What?” Frank breathed in disbelief. Gerard was getting frustrated with only hearing one side of the conversation and seeing how much distress it was causing Frank; the shoulder rubbing became more intense and Gerard’s other hand started stroking the back of Frank’s neck.  
“It’s for your own good, Frank. You can’t stay at home forever and you’ve coped so well this week in the hotel.”  
“So that means you can kick me out?” Frank’s voice was angrier than he intended and he heard a hiss behind him from Gerard.  
“I’d never see you on the streets, you know that. I’m just saying, use this time to start looking, find somewhere. I want you to be happy, Frank, you need to get on with your life.”  
“Right,” Frank said sadly, he knew there was no point arguing with her.  
“Let me know if you need any help.”  
“Goodbye, Mother.” Frank didn’t wait for his mother to reply before ending the call. Frank let his phone fall into his lap then rested his head in his hands.   
“What’s going on, baby?” Gerard asked gently.  
“Mom doesn’t want me to go home when the house is done,” Frank said behind his hands.  
“Why?” Gerard asked even though he thought he knew the answer.  
“Because she thinks I need to be independent, get a life or something she said.” Frank dropped his hands and looked at Gerard.  
“Oh. Not because you’re gay?”  
“Did you tell her I’m gay?” Frank yelled, looking fearful and clutching at Gerard’s hands.  
“No, Frankie. I don’t know your mom. I haven’t said anything to anyone,” Gerard said calmly, knowing Frank was having some kind of anxiety attack and therefore not thinking logically.  
“No… no, she can’t know. She would have said if she did. She would have got mad and… she can’t know,” Frank chanted to himself.  
“Breathe, baby. It’s gonna be fine,” Gerard murmured.  
“What am I going to do?” Frank wailed, letting his hands cover his face again.  
“Come live with me,” Gerard said softly after a pause.  
“You don’t have a spare room,” Frank snapped. His hands dropped again and he glared at Gerard for being so ridiculous and trying to make a joke when he was clearly in crisis. But Gerard’s eyes weren’t sparkling with humour; they were serious, and soft and loving.  
“I’ve got half of a bed going spare. And I’m sure I could make some room in my wardrobe,” Gerard said gently, taking hold of Frank’s hands so the man couldn’t cover his face again.  
“Live here?” Frank said tentatively.  
“Why not? I mean, you’ll be at work all day and I’ll be at school but we’ll have the nights together.”  
“When you’re not at work,” Frank reminded him.  
“Yes… but if you’re helping with the rent then I won’t have to work as much,” Gerard said with a grin, making the offer even more appealing to Frank.  
“Really?”  
“Probably. Might even be able to just work two nights a week, especially since I’m more expensive now.”  
“What would I tell my mom?” Frank’s face started to lose the hope Gerard had inspired.  
“That I work at the hotel, you mentioned you needed a place when I extended your hotel booking another week and I told you I was looking for a roommate,” Gerard quickly created a story for Frank to tell.  
“Would that work?”  
“Why wouldn’t it? If she wants to look around then you can tell her our bedroom is yours and mine is the closed door. Tell her I’m private and don’t like people snooping in my room, she doesn’t need to know it’s my studio, she’ll never even look in there.” Frank was aware Gerard had carried on speaking but he had got fixated when he said ‘our’ bedroom. “Frank?”  
“What if she wants to meet you?” Frank forced himself to stop thinking of bedrooms and addressed his next concern.  
“Then let her. I’ll be the perfect roommate and she’ll say how remarkably handsome I am… maybe I’ll even flirt with her.” Gerard winked at Frank and grinned.  
“That’s gross,” Frank moaned and shook his head.  
“Is she cute? Maybe I’ll date her. You’d have to call me Daddy, Frankie,” Gerard teased, his voice edging towards seductive.  
“Stop. Right now,” Frank warned, his face serious but eyes smiling.  
“Come on, Frankie. Live with me. I’ll even see if Mrs Vaughan will let you pet her dog.”  
“Really?” Frank said eagerly, like it was the best part of the offer.  
“Really,” Gerard said, squeezing Frank’s hands.  
“Do you think… it’s quick though? Too soon… for us?”  
“Not at all,” Gerard answered confidently. “But if you get sick of my snoring then you can always go back to the hotel or I’ll help you find somewhere else.”  
“And you’re not just saying this because I’m now homeless?” Frank let out his final worry to Gerard.  
“Baby, I almost asked you to move in when I woke up this morning. You started talking about Mrs Vaughan’s dog though and it threw me off,” Gerard admitted in a small voice.


	16. Chapter 16

Frank returned to his job on Monday with a renewed spring in his step. He had kissed Gerard goodbye before he left (Gerard had a late class so wasn’t ready to leave) then drove to the library.  
Working as a library assistant was the perfect job for Frank; he got to be surrounded by books all day, he didn’t have to face the public if he was having an anxious day and he could always use the excuse of needing to stay quiet to avoid talking to people. It was his first job after leaving high school and he had never wanted to do anything else.  
“Frank! Did you have a nice week away from this place?” Lindsey asked from the front desk when he walked through the door. Lindsey was always kind to Frank and had a soft spot for him but Frank was too intimidated by his boss to progress any kind of friendship.  
“Yes, thank you,” Frank answered politely.  
“Good. And how’s the house?” Lindsey had been incredibly sympathetic about the fire and had actually tried to encourage Frank to take two weeks off so he could really get over the trauma.  
“Complicated. It’s going to take a while.”  
“You still staying in the hotel then?” Lindsey's question was simple enough but it made him blush. Frank had been back to the hotel the night before with Gerard to pack up what few belongings he had there and take them back to the apartment; he had wanted to cancel his reservation but Gerard convinced him to keep it, just in case.  
“Kind of…” Frank said awkwardly “I’m staying with a friend too.” Lindsey smiled and nodded. Frank realised she had only been trying to make conversation, not pry, so he smiled and headed to the staff room.  
The day passed quickly, there were plenty of books to be sorted and Frank had enough clerical duties to catch up on from his week away from work. Lindsey tried to engage him in conversation again in the break room over lunch but Frank gave one word answers until she stopped talking.  
When he left for the day, Frank wasn’t really paying attention and out of habit drove back to his old house. It wasn’t until he got to the front door that he realised it wasn’t where he was supposed to be. Frank blushed even though there was nobody around to see it.  
Since he was there though, he decided to go in and pick up some more clothes and toiletries; now he knew he was going to be at Gerard’s long term it made sense to grab some supplies. Frank let himself in and went straight to his bedroom, covering his mouth from the stench of smoke and building materials.  
Frank was horrified when he pushed his bedroom door open; lying on his bed, not where he had left it, was his guitar case. He rushed over and popped open the clasps, breathing a sigh of relief when he found his white guitar still inside.  
Frank knew he had handed the case directly to his mother before he left for the hotel. He had told her how important it was that she didn’t forget to take it, how he didn’t trust the builders or the hotel. She had promised him she would take it, he had seen her put it by the front door. How had she forgotten it? She knew what it meant to Frank.  
Frank hurriedly packed some more clothes into a bag, adding shampoo and deodorant too before putting it next to his guitar case. He knew he had a portable amplifier somewhere, maybe Gerard would let him play in the apartment, or he could practice when Gerard was at work. Frank quickly dug through his closet, dislodging books he hadn’t read in years and hoodies he didn’t remember buying, until he found his small amp.  
Frank threw the bag on his back, wedged the amplifier under his arm and grabbed hold of his guitar case. He almost stumbled coming down the stairs but he made it to the car in one trip.  
When Frank pulled up at the apartment he knew he couldn't make it to the top floor with everything. He sat in his car debating whether to call Gerard's phone to come help or just make two trips.  
Frank pulled out his phone and hit Gerard's number. Right as the phone started to ring in his ear, Frank was jolted by the sound of a car horn. He looked in his mirror to see Gerard smiling at him parked behind, his face rapidly changing into confusion when he pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the caller ID.  
"Not that's it not always nice to hear from you, baby, but why are you calling me from your car? Outside our apartment?" Gerard said when the call connected.  
"I got... some things. I needed help," Frank explained weakly, suddenly worried Gerard wouldn't want him moving his stuff into the apartment.  
"Okay, I'm coming." Gerard hung up and waved to Frank though the mirror. Frank tried to smile but he still looked too anxious when Gerard pulled his door open.  
"Unless you've brought back a dead body you can ease up on the Catholic guilt face, Frankie," Gerard said before leaning into the car to touch their lips together.  
"No... no dead body," Frank murmured then laughed awkwardly.  
"Okay... are they heavily wounded and you need me to finish them off?" Gerard was smiling but Frank still couldn't quite manage it.  
"No. It's just stuff... from my house. I mean, I drove there by accident so I went to get fresh clothes..." Frank got out of the car to follow Gerard who was already by the trunk.  
"So why are you panicking?"  
"Not panicking," Frank protested.  
"Okay, sorry." Gerard leant over and kissed Frank's forehead. "Why are you anxious, baby?"  
"In case you... if you didn't want me to."  
"Of course I do. It's your apartment too, Frankie. I want you to feel safe and have your things here." Gerard pulled him into a brief hug then let him go to open the trunk.  
"I won't play it. It just wasn't safe at the house," Frank tried to explain when Gerard saw the black plastic case.  
"You didn't tell me you could play guitar," Gerard said, looking at Frank in awe.  
"I can't... not really. Nothing good. I just like to play for me."  
"Come on, let's get it inside." Gerard lifted out the amplifier and bag, letting Frank carry his own guitar.  
“You know, I saw Mrs Vaughan before I left for class today,” Gerard said as they started climbing the stairs.  
“Really?” Frank felt a little more excitement fight against the anxiety.  
“Yeah. Turns out Lola is a Prince Charles Spaniel or whatever.”  
“Cavalier King Charles Spaniel,” Frank corrected.  
“Yeah, that. Anyway, Mrs Vaughan said you can pet her any time you want and if you wanted to walk her that would be fine too. Lola, I mean, not Mrs Vaughan,” Gerard said with a grin.  
“Seriously? Thanks, Gee.” Frank wanted to hug him but settled for just nudging his head against his shoulder since their hands were full.  
Frank unlocked the door for them when they reached the top floor and everything was carefully put down in the main room. Frank still kept one hand on his guitar case even though it was lying flat on the coffee table.  
"Can I see it?" Gerard asked excitedly.  
"Sure." Frank very slowly opened the case and revealed his most prized possession.  
"Cool. It’s nice. Name?”  
“What?” Frank was confused.  
“What’s her name? Or his? I know it has one, all important instruments have a name.” Gerard gave Frank a knowing smile.  
“Err… she… I don’t wanna say,” Frank mumbled, a pink tinge creeping up to his cheeks.  
“Okay, baby. You gonna play me something?"  
"No. I... can't. I won't play it all. I'm sorry, I know it's loud," Frank apologised, wishing he had left the guitar at home.  
"Honey, it's fine. Honestly. I'm used to it; Mikey used to play bass, it doesn't bother me."  
"Mikey?" Frank shot back quickly. Frank's original worries had been derailed with the mention of another man. Frank was already building up a mental picture of Mikey; Gerard's probably gorgeous, bass playing ex.  
"My brother," Gerard clarified softly, reaching out to stroke Frank's cheek reassuringly; he knew exactly where the other man's mind had gone.  
"Oh," Frank breathed, realising how stupid he had been. It seemed Gerard really was okay about the guitar but now his original concerns about it being abandoned returned.  
"Why do you look so sad, baby? There's nobody but you," Gerard reminded him.  
"No, I know. I'm just... I guess I'm upset," Frank tried to verbalise his inner turmoil.  
"About the guitar?"  
"Yeah. Not you though," Frank hastened to add. "My mom left it at the house."  
"Okay..." Gerard didn't really understand but he didn't want to admit it or make Frank's concerns seem trivial.  
"I didn't want to take it to the hotel in case it got stolen. I didn't want it at home in case the builders took it or it got damaged."  
"So you asked her to look after it." Gerard nodded as he finally understood.  
"Yeah. She promised to take it with her. She knew how important it was to me," Frank said sadly, his face creasing with disappointment.  
"Maybe she just forgot it, honey," Gerard said as he rubbed Frank's sides soothingly.  
"No. I gave her it. Right before I left for the hotel. We were stood by the front door and I made her promise when I handed it over."  
"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding," Gerard said.  
"I just can't believe she would leave my guitar. She knows how much it means to me." Frank sighed and Gerard pulled him into a hug.  
"Why don't you call her? You should let her know you've got it in case she realises and goes home for it," Gerard said softly then kissed Frank's cheek.  
“Okay," Frank said with a nod, seeing Gerard’s logic. Frank pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled though to find his mother’s number.  
“You want some privacy? I can work on something.” Gerard squeezed Frank’s shoulder and looked towards his studio.  
“Can you stay?” Frank asked quietly. Gerard nodded and kissed Frank’s nose before pulling him down to sit by him on the couch. Once Gerard’s arms were securely wrapped around him, Frank connected the call.  
“Hello, Frank,” his mother answered the call in a particularly abrupt manner.  
“Hey, Mom.”  
“What do you need, Frank?”  
“I don’t need… I’m…I...”  
“Spit it out, Frank,” his mother said with a frustrated sigh.  
“It’s about Pansy.”  
“Pardon? Who’s that?”  
“You know,” Frank said quietly. Gerard was looking at him with a curious face and Frank realised he had said his guitar’s name. Gerard mouthed ‘Pansy’ and Frank looked down at his feet.  
“I don’t know,” Frank’s mother snapped.  
“Pansy is my guitar,” Frank said, clarifying for both Gerard and his mother. Frank felt Gerard squeeze him closer and he resisted the contact, feeling stupid and embarrassed.  
“Your guitar is here. Is that all?”  
“It’s not. I know it’s not,” Frank told his mother.  
“Pardon?”  
“I went to the house today. She was on my bed,” Frank explained.  
“Oh, alright. There wasn’t room for it here so I left it,” his mother admitted.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Frank whispered; he wanted to sound more commanding but his mom’s confession had hit him hard.  
“You didn’t want to take it to the hotel. You weren’t supposed to find out it was at home.”  
“How could you?” Frank felt Gerard pull on him again and this time he let himself collapse onto his chest.  
“It’s just a stupid guitar,” his mother said flippantly.  
“You know what it means to me,” Frank mumbled, fighting back tears.  
“You’re being childish, Frank Anthony. It’s a piece of wood.”  
“I can’t…” Frank pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at Gerard.  
“Is this your crazy abandonment thing again? You think the guitar left you or you’re scared of being without it?” Gerard and Frank both heard the shrill voice down the line since Frank’s phone was hanging between them. Gerard pointed at Pansy, then at the phone and mouthed for Frank to tell his mom.  
“I’ve got her now,” Frank said hurriedly, desperate to hang up.  
“At the hotel?”  
“No. Yes. No.” Frank looked at Gerard in a blind panic.  
“Are you lying to me, Frank?”  
“No, I’m… I’ve got somewhere… I’m staying… not at the hotel,” Frank stuttered out. Gerard stroked his cheek gently and nodded his head in support.  
“Where?”  
“Someone, staff at the hotel… needed a roommate. His last one stole. It’s… a-a trial, see if I like it,” Frank lied.  
“Really?”  
“I’ve got Pansy now. Bye.” Frank hung up the phone and buried his face in Gerard’s chest.  
“Well, that was… something,” Gerard said with a chuckle. He squeezed Frank closer to him and kissed the top of his head.  
“You hate me,” Frank murmured.  
“No, baby. Not at all.”  
“I’m a total wreck. I can’t even have a conversation without falling apart,” Frank whined.  
“It was a tough thing to talk about. And I don’t wanna be a jerk but it sounded like your mom wasn’t exactly supportive.”  
“We fight, sometimes. We… we just see things differently.” Frank pulled back a little and dared to look up at Gerard.  
“Yeah, I get it. Me and my dad don’t always see eye to eye,” Gerard said quietly.  
“At least she knows I’m not coming home now,” Frank said with a slight smile.  
“Exactly. And I know now you’re never gonna cheat on me, or if you do then you’re not gonna get away with it; you’re a fuckin’ terrible liar, Frankie.”  
“She surprised me,” Frank mumbled. “I was really dumb.”  
“Nah, it’s fine. When I meet her I just need to remember about my thieving ex-roommate and also pretend like you’re not the hottest man I’ve ever seen.” Gerard kissed Frank’s lips and Frank hummed happily.  
“And maybe don’t do that in front of her.”  
“But I like doing this.” Gerard kissed Frank again, easily parting Frank’s lips and finding his tongue. Frank felt himself being pressed lower as Gerard’s body pushed against him, making them both lay out across the couch.  
“I’m still in my work clothes,” Frank whined when their mouths broke apart.  
“Get out of them then,” Gerard challenged as he pulled off his own shirt. Frank laughed then started to unbutton his shirt. When he took too long over the first two buttons, Gerard knocked his hand aside and practically tore the material off Frank.  
“My trousers too?” Frank asked Gerard, tracing a finger idly over his own belt.  
“Of course. Unless you’re too shy in front of Pansy,” Gerard smirked. Frank looked over at the open case, his prized white guitar still exposed.  
“Why would I be? I play her naked all the time,” Frank purposely made his voice flirty and fought against his burning cheeks. There was a moment of heavy silence as Gerard’s mouth dropped open. Then all at once a flurry of hands and material as Gerard stripped Frank then himself.  
“How the fuck am I jealous of a fuckin’ guitar?” Gerard muttered before pressing his lips back to Frank’s. Frank ran his hands up Gerard’s back and the man moaned into his mouth.  
“Can we…” Frank panted when Gerard freed his lips.  
“What, baby?”  
“With your fingers,” Frank said quietly.  
“Fingers?” Gerard didn’t miss the plural.  
“Yeah… I mean, it’s good practice? For more?” Frank half asked, his voice uncertain.  
“It will help you get used to the feeling. Two?”  
“Yeah… I’d like that,” Frank sounded like he was trying to convince Gerard as much as himself.  
“I need to go get lube, baby.” Gerard kissed Frank’s cheek then tried to push himself up but Frank clung to him.  
“No, don’t go,” Frank whimpered. Gerard knew Frank meant his words; it was his fear of being abandoned and Gerard didn’t want to leave him in such a vulnerable state, especially not after his mom had let him down so bad.  
“I don’t want to hurt you, Frankie,” Gerard told him, knowing it covered the physical and emotional.  
“Don’t leave. Before… you…” Frank blushed and closed his mouth tight.  
“I what?” Gerard prompted, kissing Frank’s cheek again.  
“On you… at the hotel. You didn’t use lube,” Frank managed before losing his nerve; the memory of watching Gerard prep himself was still strikingly intimate.  
“Oh. Okay, baby. You gotta do it though.” Gerard put two of his fingertips against Frank’s lips and Frank accepted them eagerly. Not knowing what else to do,  
Frank sucked on Gerard’s fingers while trying to form as much saliva as he could. Gerard moaned softly the more Frank teased his fingers, getting a small groan when he ran his tongue along them.  
“If that was my dick then I would have cum by now, you tease,” Gerard said, begrudgingly withdrawing his fingers.  
“I like sucking you. Can I?” Frank asked.  
“I thought you wanted me to finger you?”  
“I do…”  
“Then stop teasing,” Gerard said with a sly smile, letting Frank know he was only joking. Frank blushed then examined Gerard’s fingers as he twisted them in the light.  
“Is it enough?” Frank asked softly.  
“Should be. If not we can sort it.” Gerard sat up and shifted Frank closer to him in the limited space.  
“It won’t hurt?” Frank checked.  
“No, baby. Tell me if I do. It might be sore or uncomfortable but I can always stop.” Gerard stooped to kiss Frank again while one, wet finger slowly traced his tight hole. Just like before, Gerard slowly worked his fingertip into Frank; stopping any time the man hissed or squirmed. Frank didn’t think the spit worked quite as good as the lubricant but it was more bearable than letting Gerard move away from him.  
“You okay, baby?” Gerard asked once his finger was fully inside.  
“Yeah,” Frank breathed. He felt less discomfort than last time but still as full, he wasn’t sure how Gerard was going to fit anything more inside him.  
“Just one for now, we’ll play around a little, make some room,” Gerard said, showing off his remarkable ability to pluck thoughts directly from Frank’s head. Frank nodded and Gerard curled his finger to nudge Frank’s prostate.  
“I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that,” Gerard said as Frank let out a strangled half growl, half whimper. Gerard started to slowly work his finger in and out of Frank, letting the man catch his breath with each motion. Frank pressed back, keen to have Gerard’s finger back inside him when Gerard moved it too far out.  
“Like it,” Frank mumbled between breaths.  
“Good, baby.” Gerard reached down and stroked Frank’s firm cock just once as he pressed his finger deeper inside. Frank bucked and moaned shrilly from the sensation and Gerard smiled at him.  
“More,” Frank panted. Gerard swirled his finger inside Frank, making the man writhe and moan. Gerard took hold of Frank’s length again, pumping his hand slowly twice as he worked one more fingertip inside him.  
“Try to relax, honey,” Gerard said softly. Frank closed his eyes and tried to stay calm, focussing on his breathing while Gerard pushed into him. It burned, not unbearably but enough to make Frank whimper; Gerard knew it wasn’t one of pleasure.  
“Breathe, Frankie. Relax and I can take them out,” Gerard told him.  
“No,” Frank insisted, shaking his head. “Just sore.”  
“Too much?”  
“No. I’m okay.” Frank pushed his hips towards Gerard to encourage the man to carry on. Gerard let go of Frank’s cock and put his hand near Frank’s mouth.  
“Spit, baby,” Gerard demanded. Frank pulled a disgusted face and Gerard sighed, putting his hand to own mouth instead. Gerard dripped saliva onto his own fingers then use to them to wet Frank more. It wasn’t as sore when Gerard pushed in another inch and Frank sighed contentedly.  
Once both fingers were inside Frank, Gerard starting working in and out again. Frank moaned louder this time, the sensation more intense than before. Frank felt his hips moving before he told them to and Gerard smiled with each thrust.  
“You feel amazing, Frankie,” Gerard whispered. “I’m so hard for you, baby.”  
“I w-w-want… I…” Frank couldn’t finish his sentence and he groaned in frustration as well as pleasure.  
“Want me to stop?” Gerard slowed his fingers but Frank shook his head so he picked up the pace again.  
“I’m… I-I…” Frank gave up trying to tell Gerard and took hold of his own cock instead. Gerard almost didn’t meet one of Frank’s thrusts, too engrossed in watching the man touch himself.  
“Shit, Frankie, that’s so sexy,” Gerard breathed. Gerard made sure he hit Frank’s prostate on the next movement then took hold of himself while Frank was screaming from the contact.  
Both men watched each other as they worked their fists, pumping in a similar rhythm to Gerard’s fingers inside Frank. One more press of Frank’s sweet spot and the man was screaming Gerard’s name as he emptied himself over his own fist. Gerard kept his fingers still but inside Frank as he brought himself to orgasm, with Frank watching intently.  
“You can’t do that and not expect me to not join in,” Gerard said once he had caught his breath and slowly edged his fingers out of Frank.  
“I couldn’t tell you to do it, no breath, had to do it myself,” Frank explained, blushing.  
“I’m not complaining, baby. You just looked so good I couldn’t help myself.”  
“I guess I’m not such a bad liar though,” Frank said with a grin.  
“What?”  
“I’ve never played my guitar naked,” Frank admitted in a shy whisper. Gerard shook his head slightly then pouted at Frank.  
“Fuckin’ tease.”


	17. Chapter 17

Gerard worked Wednesday night and Frank spent the time reacquainting himself with Pansy. Even though it had only been just over a week, Frank was afraid that he wouldn’t remember how to play right. Frank played all of his favourite songs (those he grew up with and the ones he had made up himself) just to be sure he still could. He was still lightly strumming when he heard Gerard’s keys in the front door, prompting him to stop immediately.  
“I already heard you, honey. Don’t stop,” Gerard said when he pushed the door open.  
“I… I’m already finished,” Frank said hurriedly, still clutching on to Pansy.  
“You’re really good you know.” Gerard stepped over to Frank and touched his cheek.  
“I’m not.” Frank blushed and looked at the floor.  
“Please play for me,” Gerard begged but Frank just shook his head. “Okay, baby. I’m gonna go shower.”   
Frank didn’t look up until he was sure Gerard was in the bathroom. The only person who had ever heard Frank play was his mother and she had nothing nice to say about the noise Frank created. Frank sighed at his own cowardice and slowly repacked the guitar safely in its case.

Frank expected the minty fresh breath when Gerard returned from his shower and this time he didn’t flinch from it. Gerard sat next to Frank on the bed and put one arm around him. Gerard was warm from the shower and Frank tried to breathe in the scent of him secretly.  
"You wanna go out Saturday?" Gerard asked suddenly.  
"Out?" Frank said like he didn't understand the word.  
"Yeah. For dinner... like a date," Gerard explained.  
"I..."  
"Come on, baby. Let me take you out," Gerard begged.  
"What if someone sees us together?" Frank whispered.  
"Well, I promise not to fuck you in the centre of the restaurant."  
"Gee... I meant what if they see me."  
"Then they'll probably think: wow, look at that short, hot guy, I wonder if he's single," Gerard said with a smirk.  
"Shut up," Frank muttered.  
"Like, he can't be with that ugly guy with the red hair because the short guy is so out of his league. Maybe they’re brothers or something," Gerard continued in a girly voice, still imitating a potential onlooker.  
"Don't say that." Frank nudged Gerard's shoulder with his forehead.  
"Those tattoos, that ass... I'm asking him for his number," Gerard giggled then made a kissing face at Frank and fluttered his eyelashes.  
"Stop..." Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder and pushed against him again.  
"And then you'll leave me and I'll probably never get over it," Gerard finished with a nonchalant wave of his hand.  
"I won't leave you," Frank said seriously.  
"I'm joking, baby. Doesn't have to be dinner though. The movies? Back row?" Gerard wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.  
"You're so bad," Frank said with a small laugh.  
"I wanna treat you right, Frankie. And yeah, maybe I wanna show you off a little too," Gerard admitted.  
"Maybe, then," Frank conceded.  
"Thanks, Frankie." Gerard kissed Frank's lips then wrapped his arms around him, pulling him down so he was lying on his chest. Frank felt Gerard's lips brush his hair and his anxiety started to melt away.  
"Jamia told me to tell you 'hi' by the way. A big effort since she isn't talking to me," Gerard said casually.  
"What? Why?" Frank looked up at Gerard and saw something he couldn't quite describe in his eyes; amusement or frustration or disbelief, or maybe a blend of them all.  
"She's sick of me taking things and not giving them back. She says now I owe her an eyeliner, a powder compact and a man."

Frank knew Gerard was upset as soon as he came home from work on Friday. The man wasn’t crying and his face didn’t look too unhappy but there was no cheery greeting and he kept his keys in his hand rather than dropping them in the bowl.  
“Gee?” Frank asked cautiously from the couch.  
“Shower…” Gerard responded almost automatically then walked briskly to the bathroom. All of Frank’s happy feelings from finally getting to meet Lola and walk her earlier that evening were sapped, replaced with a cold, numb fear.  
Gerard was in the shower for exactly 6 minutes and 37 seconds; Frank knew because he spent the entire time pacing the bedroom waiting. Frank stopped when Gerard appeared in the door way wearing a towel, hair dripping.  
“What’s wrong?” Frank barked instantly, desperate for an answer.  
“Sit down, honey. Don’t be anxious,” Gerard said softly but the words had little effect on Frank.  
“Did something happen at work?” Frank tried again as Gerard took his hand and led him to the bed, forcing him to sit.  
“Yes. But I’m okay and I don’t want you to panic.” Gerard’s words caused Frank’s insides to ball up into a giant knot, he even felt a little woozy.  
“Are you hurt?” Frank choked out.  
“No, not really, I’m fine, Frankie. Just calm down and I’ll explain.” Gerard stroked Frank’s cheek and kissed his lips lightly. Frank’s breathing slowed but the tension didn’t leave him.  
“Tell me,” Frank demanded, knowing he wouldn’t get any more relaxed until he knew the full story. Gerard’s work was a constant worry to Frank for so many reasons and all of them were firing off in his head.  
“Okay, try not to freak out though; remember that I’m fine.”  
“Okay.” Frank nodded and looked at Gerard expectantly.  
“Ray had this new guy lined up tonight; typical businessman who likes to fuck men in the boardroom and in the bedroom. Usual procedure, I’m letting him get on with it while thinking about what materials I need for my final project, where we’re gonna eat tomorrow night. Then I notice he’s kissing my shoulder, I don’t really like it but I leave him to it…”  
Frank growled softly and creased his face so Gerard stopped talking. Frank realised what he had done and covered his mouth with both hands. Gerard smiled slightly then rubbed Frank’s thigh.  
“Sorry,” Frank whispered. “Jealousy.”  
“I know, honey. I’m sorry. Don’t be jealous, baby. They are paying for a completely detached act, it’s not like me and you. Work for me is like being a cashier, you know, you mindlessly ring up the groceries, barely even paying attention to what they are and when they are done they hand you money.”  
“It’s okay. Carry on,” Frank said in a small voice.  
“The guy was tall, obviously because he could reach my shoulder, and he started to focus the kisses in one spot. Then right at the end, he kinda clamped down,” Gerard explained awkwardly.  
“He bit you?” Frank exclaimed.  
“A little. It was more sucking at first and I tried to shake him off, that’s when he got his teeth in. I elbowed him in the ribs until he stopped then shoved him off the bed,” Gerard said robotically, shaking his head like he was reliving the whole thing.  
“Is it bad?” Frank wanted to see but was almost too afraid to look, his stomach rolling at the thought of another man hurting his Gerard.  
“Ray said it hasn’t broken the skin but… I mean, it doesn’t hurt and I charged the fucker double for doing it, Ray’s told him that his booking has been cancelled too so he’s not at the hotel anymore. I just…” Gerard turned slightly so Frank could see the mark just below his shoulder. It looked like a love bite but with little indents too, pink teeth marks around the outside. Frank huffed out a lungful of air and winced when he saw it; he saw Gerard’s body sag too.  
“Ray’s right, there’s no blood,” Frank said quietly. He was desperate to trace the mark with his finger to try and offer some comfort, like his touch could remove the wound, but he didn’t want to hurt Gerard.  
“Good… I’m just, I’m actually really fuckin’ upset, you know? I know I sell my body, I might be a whore but I’m not a dumb one…”  
“You’re not either,” Frank protested, still staring at the hideous mark.  
“It doesn’t give him the right to do it, though. He doesn’t get to leave a mark on me,” Gerard’s voice rose and he turned back to face Frank. “I’m yours, I only belong to you. He doesn’t have the right to leave a mark on me. He doesn’t own me… just because he paid. I’m not his property.” Gerard’s eyes were wide and frantic, pleading with Frank silently.  
“Shhh, Gee. Come on.” Frank pulled the man into a hug, careful not to touch his shoulder. Gerard wasn’t fully sobbing but Frank could tell he was crying.  
“I’m sorry,” Gerard breathed against Frank’s neck.  
“It’s not your fault, sweetheart,” Frank said as he squeezed Gerard tighter. “I don’t blame you.”  
“You should, Frankie. I’m fucking worthless.”  
“Don’t say that.”  
“I’ve done a lot of shit but I’ve never felt so… I don’t know, fucking violated. It’s stupid, I know. I’m sorry, baby.” Gerard pulled back to look at Frank, his eyes wet and red. Frank could see behind Gerard’s usual bravado and confidence, right down into the soul of a vulnerable man; afraid and in need. Frank leaned forward and kissed the tears from Gerard’s cheeks, desperate to show the man how much he cared.  
“You don’t need to be sorry. I know you didn’t want him to. Let’s go to bed,” Frank suggested, knowing just being close to Gerard always made him feel better when he was having a tough time. Gerard nodded in agreement and crawled beneath the covers with Frank. More than the physical wound, the act had damaged Gerard emotionally. For the first time, it was Frank who held Gerard to his chest through the night.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are much more exciting things happening in the fandom right now than my crappy fic but for those of you who are still here with me, here's your next chapter... and it's date night ;)

Frank felt uncomfortable. Gerard was beaming like the proverbial cat that got the cream. After much begging (and bribing) Gerard had got Frank to agree to go out to a small Italian just outside their neighbourhood. Frank had always planned to get out of his partial promise to consider going on a date but after the incident at work, he knew Gerard really wanted to prove himself and their relationship.  
Across the table, Frank could barely meet the eyes of his lover; he felt so exposed already and Gerard kept looking at him like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Frank looked around at the other couples in the place, he and Gerard were the only same sex pairing and that made Frank even more anxious. Nobody was staring at them (or even really paying them any attention) but Frank felt like there was a spotlight trained on their table.  
"Relax, Frankie," Gerard said quietly.  
"Sorry," Frank apologised and scanned the restaurant again.  
"You don't recognise anyone and nobody here knows you."  
"I know... I'm just anxious."  
"You wanna go home?" Gerard asked, almost sadly.  
"No, no. Our food will be here soon." Frank didn't want to make Gerard have to leave when he was clearly enjoying himself so much.  
"Okay, baby." Gerard smiled and Frank scowled a little.  
"You not my baby anymore?" Gerard said with a fake pout.  
"Always... but not in public," Frank whispered. Gerard giggled and rolled his eyes at Frank.  
"So not always then. Nobody can hear us, nobody even cares."  
"But what if they can?"  
"They can't. Can you hear what anyone else is saying?" Gerard challenged. Frank listened, he really tried, but with the soft music and the hushed tones everyone was speaking in he couldn't make out one word of any conversation.  
"No," Frank admitted.  
"Exactly. Nobody knows and nobody cares. Watch..." Gerard looked around then purposely leant over to get as close to Frank's face as he could without looking obvious. "Tonight, I'm gonna ride you so fucking hard that you're gonna forget your own name," Gerard said in a low voice.  
Frank's face was instantly glowing red and he visibly shrank into his chair and himself. Gerard laughed, quiet but carefree and blew Frank a kiss.  
"Gerard!" Frank hissed out, daring to flick his eyes from side to side. But as Gerard had predicted, nobody had even noticed their exchange.  
"Live a little, Frankie. I know you're anxious but you can't live in a bubble. Nobody heard, nobody cares about us. You're safe with me, honey," Gerard promised, reaching for Frank's hand across the table. Frank let Gerard place his hand on top of his and swallowed deeply. He knew Gerard was right; he shouldn't let his fear rule him, he knew Gerard would go to any lengths to protect him, he knew nobody had heard him or cared if they did. But Frank had spent so many years living with anxiety that it couldn't just disappear overnight; Gerard knew that but he was trying to help Frank.  
The waiter returned to their table with two plates before Frank could think of anything to say to Gerard. Frank flexed his hand beneath Gerard's but Gerard pretended not to notice, turning his head to look at the waiter instead.  
"Vegetarian fusilli with plain tomato sauce?"  
Gerard inclined his head towards Frank and the waiter set the dish down in front of him.  
"Just tomato? No meat?" Frank asked quietly, painfully aware of Gerard's hand on his.  
"Yes, sir. And no dairy," the waiter confirmed with a smile, clearly remembering Frank's insistence when he ordered. Frank nodded slowly and gave Gerard an apologetic smile. The waiter didn't bother to announce Gerard's dish, he just placed it on the table and Gerard thanked him. Frank unrolled his cutlery when Gerard did but he was still looking down at his plate once Gerard had already swallowed his first mouthful.  
"You don't trust them," Gerard guessed. Frank was staring at his food but he still gave the man a slight nod.  
"I... I was just, like, so ill, you know... when I was a kid," Frank explained.  
"I'm sorry, Frankie. I didn't know. I mean, I knew about the meat and the lactose, but not that you got so sick."  
"Yeah... I was in the hospital, a lot." Frank poked at his food but didn't actually put anything on his fork.   
"So you're not just anxious about us being seen. It's also because you're eating somewhere new," Gerard pieced together and Frank sighed.  
"I'm sorry. I know I'm really awkward and cause so much trouble..."  
"You don't, honey." Gerard dropped his fork to take hold of Frank's hand again. "If you don't wanna eat it then that's fine. We can go and I'll make you something at home."  
"No," Frank said, shaking his head. "I have to let go sometimes. I'll be fine. He said no meat or dairy." Frank speared a twirl of pasta and tentatively brought it to his lips. Gerard squeezed his hand while he chewed the food and made himself swallow.  
"Good?" Gerard asked with one eyebrow raised questioningly.  
"Really good," Frank admitted with a small smile.  
Frank ate all of his meal under Gerard's watchful eye, trading flirty glances and shy smiles the whole time. After Gerard paid the bill, Frank even let him wrap one arm around his waist as they walked back to the car. Frank wanted to protest when Gerard opened the passenger door for him but he knew it would ruin the evening.  
Frank let out a sigh of relief once the car was speeding towards their apartment. The night had been trying, but worth it in so many ways. Gerard may have pushed him (both knowingly and unknowingly) past his boundaries but in a strange way Frank appreciated it.  
"You tired, Frankie?" Gerard asked, mistaking the sigh for a yawn since he was focussing straight ahead.  
"A little. Glad to be heading home." Frank unbuttoned the cuffs on his shirt sleeves and rolled the arms up to the elbow; Gerard's eyes strayed from the road to watch Frank.  
"Oh, baby. You want us to crash?" Gerard asked as he managed to turn his head back to look ahead.  
"What?"  
"You. Being all sexy." Gerard rested a hand on Frank's thigh. "You know how much I adore you in a button up but add in the rolled sleeves and you're in danger of me veering off into a ditch."  
“You’re being dramatic,” Frank said even though he was blushing from Gerard’s compliment.  
“Dramatic would be pulling over right now and fucking you right in that seat… which I’m actually thinking about doing so maybe I am being dramatic.”  
“I’m sure you can make it home… unless you wanted to be arrested?”  
“Would totally be worth it,” Gerard muttered under his breath, stealing one more look at Frank then stamping on the gas.

Gerard only just made it home; he was kissing Frank as soon as the door was unlocked and used his body to force them both into the apartment. The door was barely closed before Gerard grabbed Frank’s hand and dragged him into the bedroom.  
“I really want you, baby. I need you inside me,” Gerard whispered, lips running all over Frank’s neck. Frank didn’t really need to catch up, Gerard’s mood was contagious enough and his words made Frank’s stomach flip in a delicious way.  
“Gee, you’re driving me crazy,” Frank answered shyly. Gerard broke away from kissing Frank’s throat to open his trousers. When his belt was undone and Gerard was working the zip down, Frank laughed to himself.  
“What?” Gerard asked cautiously, letting Frank’s trousers fall to the floor.  
“You really can’t wait… I haven’t even got my shirt off.”  
“Oh no, honey. You’re keeping that on, you look too fucking good.” Gerard took off his own shirt and peeled his jeans off while Frank watched.  
“You really like this, huh?” Frank waved his hand over his upper body and smiled at Gerard, playing a little and starting to like the effect he had on the man.  
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Gerard panted then kissed him hard on the lips. Frank tugged on Gerard’s underwear while they kissed but was too distracted by Gerard’s hand under his shirt to make any real progress. “Pants off, on the bed,” Gerard demanded when they broke apart for air.  
“No. You,” Frank said, a hint of assertiveness in his voice that made Gerard look at him wide eyed.  
“What?” Gerard didn’t sound angry, just shocked and a little excited.  
“I thought you wanted me inside you?” Frank kept his head up, confident that Gerard did want him, that he wouldn’t turn him away for being bold.  
“Shit, I really fucking do, baby. More than anything.” Gerard kissed him again, briefer but just as intense. Frank let his hands rest on Gerard’s hips, gently rubbing his bones just sticking out of the waistband.  
“On the bed then,” Frank said each word slowly and clearly. Gerard exhaled and gave Frank a longing look before stripping off completely.   
“You sure, baby?” Gerard asked gently.  
“Let me take care of you,” Frank replied, nodding. He could do this, he could take charge and show Gerard how much he cared about him. Gerard shouldn’t be the one looking after him all the time, Frank knew it wasn’t right; you have to be equal in a relationship.  
Frank tried not to look at the mark on Gerard’s shoulder as the man crawled on to the bed. By the time Frank had his own underwear off, Gerard had already lay down on his back, legs open; Frank was relieved he hadn’t chosen to stay on all fours.  
“You look so fucking good,” Gerard murmured as Frank climbed on top of him.  
“Not as good as you do,” Frank whispered. Gerard strained his neck up so Frank kissed his lips, licking Gerard’s bottom lip to make him moan. Frank felt Gerard shift underneath him as they kissed and Frank lifted himself slightly off Gerard’s hips, worried he was squashing him.  
“Need you… so bad,” Gerard panted, pushing something into Frank’s hand. Frank looked down at the bottle of lubricant in his grasp and nodded at Gerard. Gerard watched Frank pour the liquid onto two of his fingers, biting his lip in anticipation but also ready to help if Frank needed it.  
“Tell me if I hurt you,” Frank said uncertainly.  
“You won’t, Frankie. I trust you. Just… one at a time,” Gerard said with a smile.  
Frank wasn’t really sure what to do but Gerard lifted his hips as Frank dropped his hand. Trying to think of how it felt when Gerard played with him, Frank let his fingertip slowly explore Gerard before starting to push in.   
There was no hiss or sound of discomfort like Frank normally gave out, just a small, needful noise as Gerard pressed himself onto Frank’s hand. Frank was surprised how easy it was to work his finger up to his knuckle, Gerard’s body seemed to invite him rather than resent the intrusion.   
Frank could feel the heat around his finger and the memory of how it had felt around his cock almost made him moan. Gerard’s breathing picked up as Frank slowly worked his finger in and out, letting the lubricant do its job. As soon as there was enough room, Frank slipped in another finger, making Gerard buck towards him again and let out a deep moan.  
Frank assumed he was supposed to be helping Gerard prepare for something bigger but he wasn’t completely sure how. Gerard seemed to like it when he used his fingers to mimic penetration so Frank kept doing it. Frank was already sure there was probably room for another finger but he had only used the lubricant on two.  
“Curl your fingers, baby,” Gerard murmured, breaking through Frank’s thoughts.  
“Huh?” Frank was still moving them so he pushed his fingers as deep as he could.  
“Like this.” Gerard lifted one hand and moved his finger like he was beckoning Frank closer. Frank copied the motion inside Gerard, just once but nothing really happened. Gerard rocked his hips, forcing Frank’s fingers to sit at a different angle inside him.  
“Again, baby,” Gerard whispered encouragingly. Frank flexed his fingers again in the same motion and felt a firm but soft bump against one fingertip. Gerard cried out and Frank smiled, knowing what he had done.  
“Good?” Frank asked, already knowing the answer.  
“Fuck… so good,” Gerard panted. “Let’s see if you can hit it with something bigger.” Frank felt his cheeks glow but he was ready, he wanted to make Gerard scream again. Gerard wiggled slightly and Frank took it as his cue to slide his fingers out.  
“Condom?” Frank asked since Gerard hadn’t given him one but Gerard shook his head.  
“No, baby. I don’t want one. I want you,” Gerard said simply, sending shivers down Frank’s back.  
“I don’t think… I might not be able to stop… in time,” Frank tried to explain without ruining the mood.  
“I don’t care. I don’t want you to stop. I’m yours, Frankie. I need you and I want you to take me, own me,” Gerard begged, his eyes pleading as much as his voice.  
“Okay, okay,” Frank whispered, kissing Gerard’s cheek.  
Gerard was looking at Frank in a way that made him tremble; there was so much raw passion in his eyes, desire and desperation. Frank poured more liquid into his palm then slicked it over himself. He could hear Gerard's breathing rasping in his throat, either the anticipation or the thrill of watching Frank was clearly becoming too much.  
"Nearly there, sweetheart," Frank said softly, trying to swallow his nerves.  
Though it didn't seem possible, Gerard opened his legs further when Frank lined himself up. There were no more instructions from Gerard, just soft panting and tiny feral sounds pouring out of him, so Frank pushed forward the smallest amount he could. Gerard moved at the same time and the entire head of Frank's cock slipped inside easily.  
The heat of Gerard was intense and Frank moaned as he felt Gerard's muscles briefly clench around him. Gerard groaned, in relief and pleasure, finally getting what he wanted... needed. Gerard reached up and seized a handful of Frank's shirt, pulling Frank towards him for a kiss. The action also forced Frank deeper inside him, making both the men moan before their lips could meet.  
"Kiss me," Gerard begged in a strained voice. Frank was only too willing, crushing Gerard's lips with his own and eagerly searching out the man's tongue.  
Frank rolled his hips and Gerard hummed into his mouth, not prepared to break their kiss. Frank felt the vibration travel down his throat and radiate through his chest, setting every nerve in his body on fire.  
"Do you want me, Frankie?" Gerard asked quietly once their mouths were free. Frank was slightly shocked by the question at first; considering their current state it was beyond clear that Frank wanted his boyfriend.  
But then Frank understood why Gerard needed the confirmation. It was the bite. Gerard gave his body to anyone who could afford it but not so they could abuse him, he needed to know he was safe with Frank. And while Gerard might sell his body, he didn't give his affection away so cheaply. He needed to know Frank wasn't using him for a quick thrill, that he was something more to him. Gerard hadn't been lying about needing Frank, he needed every part of him, and he wanted to be sure Frank felt the same.  
"Gerard, I want you more than anything in this world. You're the most important thing to me. I'll never stop needing you," Frank answered sincerely. Gerard smiled at him tenderly and it hit Frank like a lightning bolt; he loved Gerard. Somehow, over the past few weeks, Frank had completely fallen for the man lying beneath him. Gerard was looking up at Frank with something new in his eyes too; there was love staring back up at Frank.  
Frank couldn't speak, he didn't want Gerard to speak either. The moment was so pure and clear it was almost like a dream. Frank dipped his head to kiss Gerard again, softly this time, savouring the connection between them.  
"Show me, baby," Gerard whispered when Frank pulled back, pushing his hips up as he spoke.  
Frank shuddered from the feeling and nodded, kissing Gerard's cheek before lifting his body off Gerard. Frank drew himself back, moving halfway out of Gerard then drove forward.  
Gerard moaned but not as loud as Frank; the friction was so much more satisfying without the condom. Frank tried again, putting his own pleasure aside to focus on Gerard. There was a ripple through Gerard this time, his eyelids fluttering as he groaned deeply.  
Frank knew each time he hit Gerard just right, rewarded with a body shaking moan or a thrown back head. Frank also knew each time he failed too but Gerard didn't seem to mind, still giving Frank a whispered 'baby' or a shaky breath on those thrusts too.  
When Frank hit Gerard's prostate on two successive thrusts, Gerard let out a shrill moan and reached down between his legs. As much as Frank was getting off on watching Gerard touch himself, it wasn't what he intended.  
"Let me," Frank panted as he rocked his hips against Gerard. Frank eased Gerard's fingers away, wrapping his hand around Gerard's throbbing length. Gerard just let out a high pitched shriek and let his fingers wind around the bed sheets instead.  
Frank found it difficult to work into a steady rhythm of thrusting and pumping. He was sure he was missing Gerard's sweet spot more than he was hitting it but the other man wasn't complaining.  
As soon as Frank found a pattern that worked, he realised it was too late; he'd been thinking about Gerard and not himself, now he was past the point of no return. Should he pull out? Gerard had told him that he didn't care right at the start, that he wanted Frank to finish inside him... take him, Gerard had said.  
"Gee... fuck," Frank exclaimed, thrusting forward without even realising he was. Unintentionally, Frank scored a direct hit and came pressed right up against Gerard's prostate.  
Gerard screamed right along with Frank, the pressure inside him so intense that he came even though Frank had stopped working his hand and hips. Frank was still shaking from his own orgasm as Gerard's muscles tightened around him, causing more tremors to rock through his body.  
When the trembling slowed, Frank gently pulled out and Gerard whined at the loss of contact. Frank hushed him then stroked his inner thigh, before lying beside him with his head on Gerard’s chest.  
“You’re so good, baby… amazing,” Gerard murmured as he kissed Frank’s hair.  
“Because of you,” Frank answered in a quiet voice.  
“I should take you out more often if this is gonna happen when we come home.”  
“Better here than in the car,” Frank said with a small smile.  
“Frank… can I say something?” Gerard asked softly. Frank tensed up; Gerard rarely called him Frank, it must be something important, something serious.  
Anxiety started to gnaw at Frank, though it was kept a little at bay by the feeling of satisfaction still running through him. What if Gerard was going to break up with him? Was Frank terrible at sex? He should have pulled out.  
What if Gerard had seen the way Frank had looked at him, with love? What if he had guessed that Frank loved him and he thought that was too much? He could pretend he didn’t love Gerard, he wouldn’t know if Frank didn’t say it.  
“What?” Frank whispered after too much silence, his voice weak.  
“You’ve still got your shirt on,” Gerard said in a faraway voice before snoring softly.


	19. Chapter 19

“Have you spoke to your mother?” Gerard asked Frank when he got out of the shower the next morning.  
“Not since last week when we argued about Pansy.” Frank dried his hair on the towel then threw it on the pile of laundry Gerard had created from their bed sheets. “Why?”  
“Just thought she might have wanted to know how your trial with me was going,” Gerard explained, adding some discarded t-shirts to the dirty washing pile.  
“I don’t think she cares,” Frank answered quietly. Gerard looked at him curiously so Frank distracted himself by looking through the limited clothes he had stored in the wardrobe.  
“You know that’s not true, baby,” Gerard’s words were soft in Frank’s ear. Frank felt Gerard put his hands on his hips and press his body against his back.  
“She wanted rid of me, now she’s got it,” Frank said firmly, refusing to feel bad about his purposeful prolonged lack of contact with his mother.  
“She didn’t want rid of you, Frankie. She just wanted you to experience more, to have some freedom.” Gerard kissed Frank’s neck and hugged him closer.  
“I meant back then… before,” Frank whispered.  
“When?”  
“Before I was born,” Frank admitted, dropping his head. Gerard stopped kissing Frank and spun the man around to face him.  
“She said that?” Gerard’s voice was disbelieving but not of Frank, just of the news.  
“Once. After we had an argument, I was about twelve. She didn’t think I heard her but I did.” Frank swallowed back the tears (he had cried enough over those cruel words) and looked down at his bare feet.  
“Fuck…” Gerard pulled Frank into a bone breaking hug and stroked the back of his head. “No wonder you don’t like being left alone.” Gerard could see clearly where Frank’s paralysing fear of abandonment came from.  
“Yeah… I know,” Frank said softly with a sigh. “So trust me, she really doesn’t care where I’m living or what I’m doing.”  
“I think you should tell her that you’re staying here permanently.”  
“Maybe… I do need my things, I’m starting to run out of clothes,” Frank said, looking up at Gerard.  
“You can borrow anything of mine if you want to, baby,” Gerard said kindly.  
“You shop at Baby Gap for your t-shirts, they barely fit you so they ain’t gonna fit me,” Frank said with a grin, keen to change the subject to something lighter.  
“Only my work things. Easy on the sass, smart ass; they were obviously tight enough to hook you in.” Gerard raised his eyebrows expectantly and put his hands on his hips.  
“I’m not dating you for your impossibly tight jeans,” Frank said with a laugh.  
“Just what’s inside them then, huh?”  
“For what’s inside you.” Frank poked Gerard in the chest with one finger then blushed; he had said too much, he had to keep the ‘love’ thing a secret.  
“I know, baby,” Gerard said then kissed Frank’s forehead.

Frank called his mother while Gerard was locked away in his studio; he had started work on his final piece the day after Frank had moved in and it took up a decent chunk of Gerard’s free time. Frank would rather have Gerard by his side while he tackled his mother but he didn’t want to keep dragging him into his mess.  
“Frank. I’m glad you called,” his mother said when the call connected.  
“Why?” Frank asked, immediately on the defence.  
“I was worried,” she replied like it was the most obvious thing ever.  
“Not that worried, you could have called me.”  
“Watch your mouth, Frank,” she warned down the line.  
“I don’t want to argue,” Frank said quietly. He wanted his mother to be kind to him, to want him. The times when they weren’t arguing were better but Frank remembered less and less of those.  
“Why did you call?”  
“To let you know that I’m staying… here.”  
“Where?”  
“At the apartment, with Gerard… my roommate.” Frank swallowed deeply and hoped his mother wouldn’t hear the lie.  
“Good. I think it will be good for you. Let me know when you’re moving your things, I’ll help,” her voice was more relieved than happy for Frank.  
“Next week. A week today… Sunday,” Frank stammered out. He wanted to do it quicker but he had work all week and he knew his mother wouldn’t want to help on a Sunday.  
“Fine. I’ll come after church.” The line disconnected and Frank exhaled, letting go of a huge amount of worry and tension but taking on a whole lot more too; Gerard would want to help and his mother would be there too.  
Frank left the bedroom and wandered over to Gerard’s studio. The door was closed but he could hear Gerard humming to himself along with the sound of a pencil scratching. Frank sat with his back to the wall, his knees up and arms wrapped around them, listening to the soothing sound of his boyfriend working, desperate to not feel so alone.

Wednesday night, Frank was just getting back from walking Lola when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He didn’t want to let go of her leash so he let the call die out while he waited for Mrs Vaughan to answer the door. Once Lola was safely transferred (and Mrs Vaughan had told Frank what a ‘good boy’ he was) Frank headed back up to the apartment and checked his phone.  
One missed call from Gerard and Frank’s heart was racing. Gerard never called him when he was at work. Frank hit the instant redial and was relieved when Gerard answered almost immediately.  
“Hi, baby,” Gerard said in greeting.  
“Gee? I’m sorry, I was walking Lola and I felt my phone buzz and I didn’t want to let her go, she might run off and I’m sorry…” Frank was rambling in his sheer panic.  
“Calm down, Frankie. Nothing to be anxious about,” Gerard said soothingly.  
“Why did you call?” Frank asked, trying to breathe normally.  
“Just wanted to know if you could come get me? My car won’t start.”  
“Sure, sweetheart. Are you at the hotel?” Frank was happy to be able to help Gerard, and to be able to see him quicker too.  
“Yeah but if you can’t I’ve already…” Gerard started but Frank cut him off.  
“I’m already out of the door. See you soon.” Frank hung up, grabbed his keys and took the stairs two at a time.

Despite racing down to his car, Frank could do nothing about the traffic and it was over half an hour before he made it to the hotel. Frank parked his car in the first space his saw in the car park and rushed inside the building.  
When Frank stepped through the door he instantly broke into a huge smile seeing Gerard stood waiting in the lobby. Gerard looked too casual, dressed in ripped skinny jeans and his usual tight white v-neck t-shirt with one elbow propped against the reception desk. Jamia was behind the desk, doing her best to not notice Gerard but occasionally glancing at the man next to him.  
Frank hadn’t seen the man at first but following Jamia’s eye line, Frank was suddenly too aware of the man stood facing the desk, talking to his boyfriend. Gerard had seen Frank now and he was grinning at him, clearly happy he had come to the rescue. The man, having full view of Gerard’s face, saw the change in him and looked over his shoulder towards Frank.  
The other man looked mean; his long nose made his face almost sneer even though his mouth was neutral. He was obviously examining Frank, both dark eyebrows framing his piercing eyes. He ran one hand through his short, dyed blonde hair then turned back to Gerard.  
Frank didn’t like the cruel looking man, the tall cruel looking man who had his boyfriend’s attention. He was tall, taller than Gerard. Tall and cruel. Cruel like he might bite someone… tall like he could reach someone’s shoulder…  
It was him.  
Frank knew it.  
The tall cruel man who had dismissed him so blatantly was him; the guy who bit Gerard.  
Frank knew he would have to be quick, he would only get one chance before someone tried to jump in and stop him. Frank kept his footsteps even as he approached the desk, breathing deeply through his nose to stay composed.  
“Frankie,” Gerard exclaimed once Frank was right behind the tall, cruel man. It made the man turn again to look over his shoulder and Frank wasted no time.  
Frank was short but powerful; he drew back his arm and snapped it forward in one fluid movement. There was a satisfying crunch as Frank’s fist connected with the man’s nose.  
The man screamed.  
Gerard screamed.  
Jamia screamed.  
And Frank just smiled.  
Frank didn’t bother to try for a second hit; as he had predicted Gerard leapt at him and grabbed hold of his arms, pinning them to his sides. Frank didn’t resist, he knew he wouldn’t win in a fight, he just wanted to throw that one punch to teach the guy a lesson.  
“Frank! What the fuck are you doing?” Gerard hissed in his face. Frank moved his head to a side to see past Gerard and saw Jamia throwing handful of tissues towards the man. His nose was streaming with blood and he was uselessly trying to catch the red liquid in his hands. It was hard for Frank not to laugh.  
“Gerard. I fucking swear…” the tall man growled, ignoring Jamia’s attempts to help.  
“Shut up, Mikey. I’m dealing with it,” Gerard said without looking away from Frank. Gerard saw the change in Frank’s expression; from mindless rage to horrified recognition.  
Mikey.  
It wasn’t the man who had bit Gerard.  
It was…  
“Frank, why did you just punch my brother?” Gerard asked quietly, trying not to draw any more attention to the scene. Frank bit his lip and looked down at the tiled floor, suddenly completely embarrassed.  
“You guys need to move. Get in the staff room,” Jamia said loud enough for them all to hear. Gerard nodded, eyes still on Frank, then let go of Frank’s arms to take hold of his hand and drag him to the discrete door by the side of the reception desk. Mikey followed them, muttering to himself.  
Ray was the only person in the staff room, lying across the couch with his hands behind his head. He jumped up at the sound of the door then his mouth fell open when he saw who had come through it (and in what state).  
“What the hell?” Ray asked nobody in particular.  
“Can you give us a minute, Ray?” Gerard’s tone made it clear that saying no wasn’t really an option. Ray’s wild hair bounced as he nodded rapidly and disappeared through the door.  
“You okay, Mikey?” Gerard asked.  
“Yeah, I guess,” Mikey said begrudgingly.  
“Then wash your fucking face and stay quiet,” Gerard said to his brother, giving him a brief look to make sure he really was fine. Mikey looked like he was going to say something back but thought better of it and instead wandered over to the sink.  
Gerard turned his attention back to Frank who was still glowing red with shame. Gerard sat down on the couch and made Frank look in his eyes.  
“I… I…” Frank started but gave up under Gerard’s deadly stare.  
“Put the Catholic guilt face away and start explaining,” Gerard demanded. Frank shifted uncomfortably and tried to look away from Gerard.  
“I’m sorry,” Frank managed to choke out.  
“I know you are. Mikey doesn’t. And an apology is not an explanation,” Gerard pointed out.  
“Fucking doesn’t help either way,” Mikey growled from the corner. He was holding a wad of wet tissue to his nose and glaring in Frank’s direction.  
“Shut the fuck up before I punch you,” Gerard snarled at Mikey.  
“Gee… I’m…” Frank stuttered.  
“Don’t you dare say sorry again,” Gerard warned. “Why did you hit Mikey?”  
“I thought… I-I… he’s tall,” Frank offered, hoping Gerard would understand. Gerard just looked confused. Mikey snorted then yelped when it caused him pain.  
“Serves you right, jackass,” Gerard shot at Mikey then looked back to Frank. “I know he’s tall, honey, but that’s still not an explanation,” Gerard’s tone was gentle and it made Frank feel better that he had called him a pet name.  
“You… it was… I thought it was him… he bit you,” Frank said quietly, not wanting Mikey to hear. Gerard groaned and covered his face with his hands.  
“What?” Mikey asked, not hearing or understanding what Frank had said.  
“Sit down,” Gerard told Frank as he removed his hands. Gerard’s eyes were warm now, full of compassion and kindness. Frank slowly sat down next to him and Gerard pulled him into a hug.  
“I’m sorry,” Frank whispered into Gerard’s ear.  
“I know, baby. Thank you. I mean, you didn’t have to do that but I get it, and thank you,” Gerard said softly.  
“Explain, Gee, before I fucking lose it,” Mikey said as he crossed the room to stand in front of his brother.  
“Chill out, Mikey. He didn’t mean it, you don’t have to scare him,” Gerard said, his tone more harsh when addressing his brother. Gerard squeezed Frank then stood up.  
“I’m sorry,” Frank whispered, daring to look up at Mikey. Mikey scowled and Gerard grabbed his brother’s upper arm.  
“I know you got hurt, Mikey, but stop being such a dick. Frank didn’t mean it and you can tell how fuckin’ bad he feels,” Gerard hissed at his brother.  
“Explain,” Mikey demanded again, still eyeballing Frank. Gerard sighed and let go of Mikey’s arm.  
“Some fucker bit me last week…”  
“Who?” Mikey interrupted, his rage with Frank forgotten and now directed at the unknown attacker.  
“I don’t know, Mikey. Some guy here, I didn’t get his fucking name and number. A client,” Gerard said, rolling his eyes.  
“Shit, Gee…” Mikey started.  
“I know. Shut up. I dealt with it. But the guy was tall and when Frank saw you with me, well, it’s just a case of mistaken identity,” Gerard said with a shrug.  
“Alright,” Mikey said and exhaled. Frank didn’t think Mikey sounded like it was alright but he was glad he knew why Frank had accidently hit him.  
“You gonna drop it now?” Gerard asked Mikey in an icy tone.  
“I guess. Nice to meet you, Frank,” Mikey said, offering Frank a slightly bloody hand. Frank cringed internally but took the hand and shook it as briefly as he could manage.  
“Not really how I imagined you guys meeting,” Gerard said with a hint of humour.  
“Yeah, well, I didn’t expect to get my nose broke twice in my life just because you like to fuck men,” Mikey said then laughed. Frank blushed and Gerard shoved Mikey’s shoulder.  
“You’re such a fucking jerk, you know? I should have let Frank carry on beating you,” Gerard said but laughed too.  
“Maybe I’d have liked it,” Mikey shot back with a wink.  
“You would be fucking terrified if a guy came on to you. Have you even ever kissed a girl?” Gerard said, shaking his head at Frank who was starting to look worried.  
“More than you have,” Mikey fired without missing a beat.  
“Not difficult,” Gerard scoffed then laughed. Mike laughed too and Frank just stared at them both in confusion; he couldn’t work out if they were mad at each other or if he was still in trouble or even if Mikey was gay or not.  
“Don’t look so worried. Water under the bridge,” Mikey said to Frank.  
“Okay…?” Frank’s nerves made his answer a question.  
“Let’s get home, baby,” Gerard said to Frank kindly. “Mikey, thanks for coming out.”  
“What the fuck? I was joking about liking Frank to beat me, you know?” Mikey’s eyes were wide but he was clearly joking, playing on Gerard’s, no doubt specific, choice of words.  
“Stay in the closet then. Probably best, Dad couldn’t cope with two gay sons,” Gerard poked his tongue out at Mikey then took hold of Frank’s hand to help him up from the couch.

Even though it was Frank’s car, Gerard drove them both home, letting Frank cradle his knuckles in the ice pack Jamia had given him. Mikey had tried to jump start Gerard’s car but had no luck so Ray had called a friend to come look at it in the morning.  
“You feeling okay?” Gerard asked quietly.  
“Yeah… kinda dumb and my hand hurts but… yeah,” Frank said then sighed.  
“Don’t worry about Mikey. He’s tougher than he looks, it didn’t even hurt him that much.”  
“I still feel bad. It made you guys fight too.”  
“What? Nah. Me and Mikey, we give each other a hard time but it’s all for fun, you know? We poke fun at each other all the time, name calling and stuff. It’s not serious, it’s just how we communicate,” Gerard explained.  
“Oh. Really?”  
“Yeah. We haven’t had a real fight in years. We’re actually really close.” Gerard smiled at Frank and squeezed his knee.  
“And is he…” Frank couldn’t finish his question but Gerard was a mind reader.  
“Gay? No. Not even bi. He doesn’t judge or anything, people’s sexuality doesn’t even register with him most of the time.”  
“I don’t think he likes me,” Frank whispered sadly.  
“Sure he does. Why do you say that?”  
“He just… he looked really angry, when I came in the hotel, I mean,” Frank explained.  
“Mikey is just protective. He looks pretty serious most of the time which doesn’t help but he was probably just checking you didn’t look like someone who would hurt his big brother. He thinks my job is a stupid risk and he’s always scared I’m gonna get hurt.”  
“It is a stupid risk,” Frank said so quietly that Gerard didn’t hear him. “Is that why he was at the hotel, to watch out for you?”  
“No. He tries to stay out of my work. I called him to come get me when you didn’t answer, I thought you might have fallen asleep.”  
“I wouldn’t,” Frank said, too intensely. He always waited up for Gerard to come home, no matter how late it was.  
“You’re too good to me, baby. I don’t even deserve you,” Gerard said, glancing at Frank’s wrapped up knuckles then his face. Frank disagreed but he didn’t want to start anything so he hummed happily and closed his eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Gerard drove Frank to work the next morning; Frank's knuckles were still sore from the punch plus Gerard needed transport to get back to his own, useless car.  
"If it's done sooner then I'll bring your car back," Gerard promised as he pulled up outside the library.  
"It's okay. I don't need it today as long as you pick me up," Frank said.  
"Of course, baby. I just hope Ray's friend knows what he's doing." Gerard rolled his eyes and smiled at Frank. Both of them men knew Ray had friends in every field and some were more reliable than others.  
"I'm sure it will be fine. And you'll be there to watch over him."  
"Yeah, with all my mechanics knowledge I'm sure to be able to stop him blowing up my engine," Gerard said sarcastically.  
"Just don't sass him or maybe he will," Frank replied and then blushed slightly because he'd been too direct.  
"You anxious today, honey?" Gerard's tone changed immediately to soothe Frank. Gerard lifted his hand to stroke Frank's cheek; it wasn't uncommon for Frank to blush but he was doing it less now. A simple request or flippant comment rarely made him embarrassed around Gerard any more, unless he was having a particularly bad day.  
"A little." Frank unbuckled his seat belt and leant towards Gerard. "My hand... what am I gonna tell people?" Frank whispered as though someone might overhear.  
"That you're a bad ass motherfucker who punches guys twice your size," Gerard said proudly with a grin.  
"Gee..."  
"I'm joking, baby. Tell them you caught it in a door or you had Lola's leash around your hand but she pulled too hard."  
Frank cradled his damaged hand and nodded slowly as he considered both options. He was hoping that nobody would ask him but he couldn't exactly spend all day with his bandaged hand hidden in his pocket. The door one sounded easiest to remember.  
"Okay. You won't forget to pick me up tonight?" Frank asked quietly, another reason he was feeling anxious.  
"Not a chance I'm gonna forget about you, Frankie; I'm gonna be spending all day thinking about you," Gerard said then kissed Frank's lips.  
Frank reluctantly exited the car and watched Gerard drive away. When he was sure his cheeks were no longer red, Frank walked into work.  
"Frank, your hand! What did you do?" Lindsey said as soon as she saw Frank approach the front desk, her pale pink cardigan dropping from her shoulders as she stood up.  
"Door... caught it in my door," Frank rushed out nervously.  
"You poor thing. Does it hurt bad?"  
"Not really. I mean, it did but Gee cleaned it and wrapped it." Frank held out his hand for Lindsey to see in the hope it would stop her talking. Lindsey took hold of Frank’s hand lightly and examined the bandages as though she could see through them to the red and swollen skin. She nodded like she was satisfied with the condition and Frank let out a breath, relieved she had accepted the door lie.  
"Who sorted it? Gee?" Lindsey questioned when she looked back up, her face confused. Frank blushed again, he was always careful to refer to Gee as Gerard at work to make him sound less like a boyfriend; Frank was sure roommates didn’t usually have pet names for each other.  
"Yeah, Gerard," Frank mumbled, looking down at his bandaged hand between Lindsey's manicured fingers.  
"Your roommate?" Lindsey confirmed.  
"Yes," Frank said stiffly. He was starting to sweat.  
"Frank? Is Gerard... you know?" Lindsey seemed a little embarrassed herself... maybe not embarrassed as such but reluctant to say something that she clearly wanted to.  
"What?" Frank asked cautiously, keeping his eyes on Lindsey's lilac fingernails.  
"It’s just… if Gerard isn't your roommate... if he's maybe, your boyfriend, then, you know that's okay. Right?"  
Frank's blood ran cold; Lindsey knew. He had said too much and given it all away. Frank slowly withdrew his hand and forced it into his pocket, ignoring the painful protest his knuckles gave him. He swallowed deeply and started to hold his breath. He couldn't look up at Lindsey... he was starting to feel dizzy.  
"Or not. Sorry, Frank. I didn't want to offend you or anything," Lindsey said softly. "I just didn't want you to feel like you had to hide either. It doesn't matter, not at all."  
Frank had to breathe; his vision was starting to shimmer. Frank huffed out all of the air he had been holding in his lungs then sucked in fresh.  
"I live with Gerard," he whispered, trying to be noncommittal but not wanting to lie when Lindsey was being so nice.  
"I know, Frank. Sorry. Forget I said anything."  
"I should... work," Frank murmured then shuffled off into the back room.

Because it was a particularly bad day for his anxiety, Frank worked most his day out of sight. Lindsey had worked with Frank long enough to know when to let him be alone so she shifted the task list, ensuring Frank had no jobs on the main counter.  
Lindsey was hoping to speak to Frank at lunch, to make sure he was okay and apologise for what she had said that morning. Unfortunately, Frank spotted her hanging around the staff room door at the time of his scheduled break and he swiftly decided to work through his lunch.  
Mid afternoon, Lindsey made Frank a black coffee and took it through to the archive room where he had buried himself in old books sorting out the ones to be stored away or shipped off. Archiving was one of Frank's favourite jobs; it gave him peace and some control. Luckily, most of the other staff hated it so Frank could do some whenever he needed a time out (and of course Lindsey hastily scheduled it if Frank ever had an unexpected wobble).  
"I made you a coffee," Lindsey said when Frank looked up at door as soon as it opened. Lindsey held up the cup as if to prove her words and Frank gave her a half smile.  
"Thank you," Frank whispered.  
"No problem. How's the archiving going?" Lindsey asked. She stepped over to the table Frank was working at and placed the cup next to him.   
"Good, thanks." His progress was slow due to his painful hand but Lindsey wasn’t really concerned with his speed of work.   
"I really am sorry about this morning, Frank," Lindsey said quietly. She wasn't entirely sure if bringing it up was the right thing to do but she didn't want Frank to feel upset or dwell on any unresolved feelings about it. Frank paused but kept his eyes focussed on the book in his hands.  
"It's okay," Frank said, his guard firmly up. He did forgive Lindsey but he didn't want to get drawn into another conversation about Gerard.  
“Thank you. I know I’m your boss, Frank, but I’d like to think that you could talk to me, if you needed.”  
“About work?” Frank asked, trying to steer the conversation that way.  
“Sure. Or anything really. Life or family or what you ate for dinner,” Lindsey said with a kind smile.  
“Thanks,” Frank said softly, returning the smile. Lindsey watched Frank pick up the cup and take a mouthful of coffee before leaving him in peace.

Gerard walked into the library and was instantly greeted by a huge smile from the woman on the front desk. She looked pleasant enough so Gerard smiled back and approached the desk, making sure to read the woman’s name tag; Lindsey.  
“Hi, welcome. Can I help?” Lindsey said brightly but in a hushed tone.  
“Hi. Yeah, I’m looking for Frank?” Gerard asked, copying the volume of Lindsey’s voice.  
“Sure. He’s in the back. Who shall I tell him is asking?” Lindsey said politely.  
“Gerard, thanks.”  
“Just a moment,” Lindsey said then picked up the phone on her desk. “Frank? There’s someone here to see you… he said his name is Gerard,” Lindsey almost smirked when she said Gerard’s name.   
“I don’t want to disturb him if he’s busy,” Gerard said once Lindsey had hung up the phone. He was starting to regret coming inside, maybe he should have waited in the car… he was just so desperate to see Frank, Gerard hadn’t thought about people not knowing about them.  
“He’ll be right out,” Lindsey said with another smile. Gerard nodded and repressed a sigh; it was too late now. At least he had got changed before coming to meet Frank, his other clothes had been too stained from helping with the car. Gerard nervously brushed at the front of his grey jumper and flexed his legs inside his black jeans, hoping they weren’t so tight as to make him look like a whore.  
“Hi,” Gerard heard Frank’s voice and immediately looked up towards the sound.  
“Hey, Frank. Sorry to bother you… at work. I’ve got your car, figured you might need a ride?” Gerard tried to sound casual, knowing Lindsey was listening in.  
“Thanks. I’ve got another thirty minutes to work though…” Frank said, not quite as casually as he wanted. Gerard looked at his watch, feeling stupid for not properly checking the time before rushing out to get Frank.  
“That’s fine. I can hang around,” Gerard nodded his head as he spoke, hoping it looked masculine enough.  
“There’s comic books on the far left aisle,” Frank said, pointing it out to Gerard like he was a customer enquiring.  
“Thanks.” Gerard flashed Lindsey and Frank a brief smile then wandered over to the aisle.  
“That’s Gerard?” Lindsey asked Frank incredulously once the other man was out of earshot.  
“Yeah,” Frank answered, shifting his weight nervously.  
“Like, the guy you live with, that Gerard?” Lindsey’s eyes were wide with disbelief.  
“Yeah,” Frank repeated, at a loss for how he could really expand.  
“Wow,” Lindsey said then let out a breath. Frank just looked at the ground and turned back to the door. “Frank?”  
“Yeah?” Frank answered Lindsey without turning around.  
“You didn’t take a lunch break today. Leave the archiving as it is, you can carry on in the morning. Get your things and get yourself home early.”  
“Thanks,” Frank said happily.  
“And if Gerard is just your roommate… will you give him my number?” Lindsey added quietly. Frank didn’t know how to answer so he shrugged then escaped through the staff door.  
Frank did go back to the archive to clear away his coffee cup and process the last book he had been working on before Lindsey had called. A quick trip to the staff room to grab his jacket and Frank was back at the front desk. Lindsey was smiling at him warmly and Gerard was just coming around the aisle with a graphic novel in his hand.  
“Do I need a card to take this?” Gerard asked them both, holding up the book for their inspection.  
“Yes,” Frank answered.  
“No,” Lindsey said at the same time.  
Gerard looked at them both, the book still in the air, with one eyebrow raised. Frank looked at Lindsey who smiled lightly and shook her head.  
“He does,” Frank protested quietly.  
“It’s fine. I’ll add it to your account,” Lindsey said to Frank then smiled at Gerard.  
“Thanks,” Gerard said then tucked the book under his arm. Frank nodded at Lindsey then walked around the counter to Gerard’s side. They walked to the door with a cautious amount of space between them, Gerard staring straight ahead the whole time.  
Frank knew Lindsey would be watching them, probably mostly Gerard, so he paused by the doors. Gerard automatically stopped too, looking down at Frank.  
“You forget something?” Gerard whispered.  
“Only who I am,” Frank responded quietly. Gerard didn’t have time to ask what he meant because Frank reached up and softly kissed his lips. Gerard put one arm around Frank’s waist, unsure why he was being so public but enjoying the moment since he had been thinking about kissing his boyfriend all day.  
Frank was blushing when he eventually pulled away and Gerard could see the excitement in his eyes. Gerard let go of him and took hold of his hand instead.  
“You okay?” Gerard asked quietly, a little confused but pleased.  
“Yeah. Better now,” Frank confessed. The door swung open once they took another step forward and Frank glanced back over his shoulder; Lindsey was watching from the desk with a soppy grin. Frank smiled at her tentatively and Lindsey gave him a double thumbs up.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the one some of you have been waiting for... here's Momma Iero!  
> The next chapter will follow directly on but it was too big to be one update - I'm working to get it up as soon as possble.

Frank was nervous and Gerard knew it; he wanted nothing more than to hold his boyfriend’s hand and tell him everything would be okay, but he couldn’t. Frank had barely slept all night, despite Gerard’s reassurances that his mom meeting his roommate really wasn’t a big deal and nothing he had to panic about. It wasn’t even a formal thing, they were just going to load Gerard’s car with Frank’s things (Frank’s car was too small) but they knew his mother was going to show up at some point to help. So Gerard couldn’t draw soothing circles on the back of Frank’s hand with his thumb like he wanted, just in case his mother showed up.  
They had already done one trip in Gerard’s car, making sure every bit of space was utilised. All of Frank’s clothes and bathroom things took an entire trip in itself. Now all of his musical paraphernalia had been loaded into the trunk.  
“What’s next?” Gerard asked, making Frank drop the box of books he was carrying. Gerard stooped to help him stuff them back in and then force the box into the overfilled car.  
“I… I don’t know,” Frank stammered, sticking his hands in his pockets once they were empty.  
“Calm down,” Gerard whispered, fighting the urge to touch his face. Frank nodded and swallowed hard, not calming down at all.  
“Furniture can stay,” Frank said, nodding again. They had already decided it was easier to sell Frank’s bed and wardrobe and keep Gerard’s. “I guess just music and films.”  
Gerard was in front as they came down the stairs, arms full of boxes, so he saw the unfamiliar car parked right outside the open door. He stopped at the bottom step so Frank had no choice but to halt too.  
“Frankie, I think your mom’s here,” Gerard said in a quiet voice. He heard Frank whimper behind him but Gerard daren’t look away from the door in case the woman suddenly appeared.  
“Let’s go,” Frank whispered. Gerard didn’t know if he meant leave completely or just carry on moving boxes so he just stepped forward and Frank followed him out of the house.  
“There you are,” Linda called when she saw the two men coming out of the door.  
“Hi, Mom,” Frank managed in a relatively steady voice. Gerard smiled politely at the stranger and she smiled back.  
“Let me get that,” Linda said as she rushed ahead of them, yanking open the back door of Gerard’s car.  
“Thanks, Mrs Iero,” Gerard said pleasantly when Frank stood completely still and mute. Gerard slid his box onto the back seat and prayed Frank would find the strength to do the same; he did.  
“So, you must be Gerald,” Linda said confidently, sizing up Gerard with one look.  
“Gerard,” the taller man corrected, offering his hand which Linda shook briefly.  
“I hope you know what you’ve let yourself in for, having my son as a roommate,” Linda said with a small laugh. Frank blushed and looked directly at Gerard.  
“He can’t be any worse than the girl I just kicked out for stealing from me,” Gerard said with some feigned humour. It was the story Frank had told Linda in a panic when she asked too much so Gerard had to stick with it.  
“Frank won’t steal, he’s a good boy,” Linda assured Gerard.  
“I know, I trust him,” Gerard answered Linda but he had turned away from her and was looking at Frank. There was so much warmth and belief in Gerard’s eyes that Frank couldn’t look away; so he saw the pain and hurt rock through Gerard when Linda spoke again.  
“Maybe you could even set him up, if you know any desperate women. First roommate, he needs his first girlfriend now,” Linda smiled at her own joke but neither of the men looked at her. Gerard fought the anger and composed his face as he turned back to Linda.  
“I’m sure any girl would be thrilled to date Frank, he doesn’t need my help,” Gerard’s voice was too tight so he laughed but it wasn’t his usual laugh, it was forced and false.  
“Mom…” Frank tried to interject but was cut off.  
“Come on, Frank, I’m joking and Gerry knows it,” Linda said.  
“It’s Gerard,” Gerard corrected again but Linda didn’t seem to be paying attention.  
“I’m sure it will all work out fine. Don’t be afraid to tell him if he annoys you though, you have to be honest to be good roommate,” Linda chirped.  
“He’ll be the best roommate I’ve ever had,” Gerard said, probably too intensely. Frank caught Gerard’s eyes again and he saw through the polite face, right down to the ache and sorrow of having to pretend.  
“No,” Frank said, shaking his head a little.  
“Too late to back out now, Frank,” Linda said, overly jolly to cover up her own worry; she clearly didn’t want Frank living in her house. Gerard tried to work out what was flashing in Frank’s eyes but by the time he did it was too late.  
“It’s hurting you and it’s hurting me. No,” Frank said, mostly to Gerard but loud enough that Linda heard too.  
“Frank…” Gerard tried to caution but Frank cut him off.  
“No, Gee. Mom, this is Gerard. He’s my boyfriend.” As soon as the words were out, Frank wished he could claim them back. He was proud to be Gerard’s boyfriend and he didn’t want to hide but his mom’s instant reaction was not good. Linda’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head, her face turning a violent shade of purple and her fists clenching at her sides.  
“What?” Linda’s voice was loud but eerily calm.  
“He’s… I…” Frank stammered and looked to Gerard for help.  
“We’re together, a couple,” Gerard said to Linda confidently, unafraid of the woman.  
“No. No, no, no, no. I don’t think so,” Linda raged.  
“We are. We’re happy together. I hope you can respect that,” Gerard said calmly. He could feel Frank trembling at his side so he reached out took hold of his hand, finally able to offer some form of comfort.  
“Frank, let go of that man,” Linda ordered, glaring at their joined hands like her stare could burn them apart. Frank shook his head and clung tighter to Gerard’s hand.  
“I’m gay, Mom,” Frank said in an even voice. It was probably clear enough but Frank needed to be sure his mother understood.  
“Don’t even say that word,” Linda spat. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”  
“Sick?” Gerard echoed.  
“This is beyond sinning,” Linda shouted, waving her hand at the two men and averting her gaze. “It’s absolutely disgusting.”  
“I’m not judging you or your choices, I’d appreciate it if you could afford us the same decorum,” Gerard’s voice was starting to rise and Frank could tell he was losing his patience.  
“Decorum? You don’t even know the meaning of the word! Absolute filth,” Linda screeched, shaking her head.  
“I won’t stand here and be insulted. You’re being unreasonable,” Gerard’s voice crept up another notch.  
“Frank, you’re coming home,” Linda snapped, taking a step towards the two men.  
“I’m going with Gerard,” Frank said quietly but his voice somehow full of power, conviction.  
“I will not let this dirty sinner ruin you, Frank,” Linda screamed.  
“Don’t call him that,” Frank warned.  
“What shall I call him? Sodomite? Queer? Fag?” Linda glared at Gerard as she hurled insults and Frank physically flinched at each word.  
“How can you say that about the man I love?” Frank screamed at his mother. Linda’s mouth fell open and Gerard whipped his head towards Frank. Frank had said too much. That was supposed to be secret; he wasn’t supposed to let Gerard see how far things had gone.  
“Baby?” Gerard said softly, completely forgetting Linda’s presence.  
“Sorry… that wasn’t ideal,” Frank apologised to Gerard, looking into his eyes and searching for some sign that things were still okay.  
“Ideal? Fuck ideal! You love me?” Gerard asked, his face breaking into an almost impossibly wide grin. Frank nodded then started to smile himself.  
“I love you, Gerard,” Frank said proudly.  
“Oh, Frankie, baby, I love you more,” Gerard said without hesitation. Frank was still beaming when Gerard bent his head and kissed his lips softly.  
Then something impacted on the side of Frank’s head and made his skull vibrate. Gerard must have felt the shock wave too since he quickly pulled his head away. Frank realised what had happened; his mother had slapped him.  
Linda raised her arm again to strike but Gerard was quicker; he used one hand to grab her wrist and the other to quickly pull Frank behind him, using his own body as a shield to defend the smaller man. Linda howled and used her other hand to try and free her wrist, clawing and scratching at Gerard’s skin.  
“Get off,” she screamed in agony like Gerard’s touch burned her.  
“How dare you touch him?” Gerard snarled in her face. Linda ignored the words and kept tearing at Gerard’s flesh. Unexpectedly, she drew blood and cried out in horror, not for Gerard’s wellbeing but because the liquid was running onto her.  
“Don’t let that filth touch me, I don’t want your diseases,” she cried hysterically. Gerard was forced to let go of Frank when Linda stopped clawing and raised that arm too, ready to slap Gerard this time. Another second and she might have made contact but Gerard caught her arm just like the first.  
“You ever raise a hand to him again and I swear I’ll rip it off,” Gerard roared at Linda.  
“He deserves it, he’s evil,” Linda screamed.  
“You are so wrong,” Gerard spat in a low voice.  
“He is. I should have got rid of him while I had the chance. Bad enough to be stuck with a baby, even worse a wicked one born on the devil’s day. It was a sign right from the start,” Linda snarled. Gerard heard Frank start to sob behind him and the pain in his chest was worse than any physical injury Linda could inflict.  
“I won’t let you hurt him. Not now, not ever,” Gerard told Linda, as calmly as he could manage, not wanting to upset Frank further.  
“Wait until you’re not around, when I get him alone. I’ll drag him home and beat it out of him,” Linda threatened.  
“Then I suggest you say goodbye to your son, it’s the last time you’re ever going to see him,” Gerard promised, making a snap decision. Frank peered out from behind Gerard, his face wet with tears but his body language obvious; he was ready to say goodbye to his mother.  
“He’s no son of mine,” Linda spat, not even looking at Frank. Gerard hissed then twisted the woman’s wrists, making her yelp and step back. Gerard could hear Frank sobbing and he was desperate to hold him but he knew he couldn’t let Linda go.  
“Get in the car, Frank,” Gerard said in a level voice. “Lock your door.” Gerard didn’t need to look around to know Frank had listened to him; he knew the man would plus he heard the car door close then the harsh sound of the lock snapping into place.  
Gerard walked forward, forcing Linda to step away from the car but keeping a firm hold on her wrists. When Gerard was closer to his door and Linda was safely away from Frank’s side of the car, he stopped walking. Gerard tightened his grip on Linda’s arms then leant in to speak directly into her face.  
“You don’t deserve him. He is kind, loving, sweet, pure...” Gerard started in a low voice.  
“He’s an abomination, just like you,” Linda screeched and then spat in Gerard’s face.  
“I hadn’t finished,” Gerard said calmly, not even acknowledging the slimy mass on his cheek. “Frank is the most sensitive, caring, amazing person I’ve ever met. The fact he is unlucky enough to be related to you is almost laughable. I love him. More than you can imagine. Beyond that. Remember how much I love that man; because if you hurt him, if you even come near him, don’t doubt for a second that I would kill for him.”  
Gerard narrowed his eyes at her then released her wrists, shoving her backwards slightly as he did. Linda didn’t make a noise or even move as Gerard got in the car. Gerard ignored his seat belt and hastily pulled away, placing one hand on Frank’s thigh as soon as the car was moving.  
Frank was sobbing in the passenger seat, not as much as Gerard had imagined he might be but enough to make Gerard’s heart ache. Gerard murmured comforting words, trying to calm Frank; Gerard desperately wanted to pull over to look after Frank but he was more concerned with getting him away from Linda. After a few minutes, Frank seemed to gain more control over his breathing and started to listen to Gerard.  
“She… did s-s-she spit… on you?” Frank stammered between breaths. Gerard forgot he hadn’t bothered to wipe his face, too focussed on getting Frank to safety.  
“Don’t worry about it,” Gerard said, shaking his head. Now Frank had mentioned it he could feel what Linda had left, clinging on to his cheek. Frank reached over and wiped Gerard’s face with the cuff of his shirt.  
“Aww, don’t ruin a perfectly good button up, I love you in that shirt,” Gerard said, chancing a quick glance at Frank and squeezing his thigh softly. Frank choked out a strangled laugh.  
“I’m sorry…” Frank whispered.  
“I was joking, baby. It’ll wash anyway.”  
“I meant, for her… I’m sorry she did that,” Frank said softly.  
“Don’t you apologise for her. She’s a grown woman, she makes her own choices and faces the consequences alone.”  
“Gerard… look at your arm,” Frank said quietly. Gerard looked down at the hand he had resting on Frank’s thigh. From the wrist back there were various scratches, all different lengths and depths; two were still bleeding and one had started to scab.  
“Aww, shit.” Gerard didn’t want to stop the car but he knew he needed to sort his arm. Frank quickly pulled his shirt over his head without undoing any buttons then wrapped it around Gerard’s arm, tying it tight enough to put pressure on the open wounds.  
“I have two the same,” Frank said before Gerard could comment on the ruined shirt again.  
“Thanks, honey,” Gerard said with an affectionate smile.  
“I can’t believe she did that, said those awful things,” Frank said sadly.  
“She was just shocked,” Gerard said, not really believing his own words or wanting to defend Linda.  
“Maybe. It’s not right though… she’s my mother,” Frank said simply.  
“Yes. But that doesn’t excuse her behaviour or the way she treated you,” Gerard said firmly, not wanting Frank’s Catholic guilt to get the better of him.  
“Or what she did and said to you,” Frank added as Gerard stopped the car outside their apartment.  
“I don’t give a shit what she did to me. I’ve been facing bigots all my life, one more isn’t gonna break me. I meant what I said though, I won’t let her hurt you,” Gerard told Frank. Frank nodded and absentmindedly rubbed his cheek, inadvertently reminding Gerard that the woman had hurt him. “How’s your face?”  
Frank cocked his head, looked at Gerard curiously and almost smiled.  
“Bitch fuckin’ slapped me,” Frank drawled in a near perfect imitation of Gerard.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this one follows straight on from the previous chapter - I know it's short but I felt the scenes needed some separation as it was too big all together.

Back in their apartment, Frank sat Gerard on the edge of the bed while he fetched the first aid kit from the bathroom. Gerard tried to tell Frank he didn’t need to fuss but Frank ignored him anyway. Frank slowly peeled the ruined shirt away from Gerard’s arm, wincing at the raw flesh underneath.  
“Just leave it,” Gerard tried again.   
“It’s going to get infected. Let me clean it,” Frank said quietly. He popped open the small green box and searched through for antibacterial wipes.  
“Alright,” Gerard huffed and rolled his eyes. Frank opened several small wipes and used them first to clean the still open wounds and then to wipe the dried blood from the smaller scrapes. Gerard flinched a little when Frank cleaned the deepest wound but otherwise he didn’t react.  
“It’s not as bad as it looked in the car,” Frank said softly.  
“So I’m not gonna have a cool, sexy scar?” Gerard asked with a grin.  
“Probably not. I’m gonna bandage it up.”  
While Frank searched through the box for more supplies, Gerard tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Frank found the padding and white bandage he was looking for and gently wrapped up Gerard’s arm. Frank couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over Gerard as he worked; being transported back to the last time he had offered physical first aid to him back in the hotel room. Frank chuckled softly as he realised just how far they had both come.  
“What?” Gerard asked, opening one eye.  
“Just… you know, doing this, first aid… memories,” Frank said. His slight blush gave him away and Gerard smiled at him, clearly remembering too.  
“You like what you see,” Gerard stated, not a question this time like it had been back in the hotel.  
“I love what I see,” Frank whispered back. Gerard stood up and pulled Frank to his feet with his undamaged arm.  
“I love you so fucking much, Frank. I should have told you sooner,” Gerard breathed before placing his lips on Frank’s. Gerard’s words were echoing around Frank’s head and he could hardly believe they were true. Frank had never felt so happy, so secure, or loved.  
“Gee?” Frank said quietly.  
“Hmmm?” Gerard answered as he nuzzled Frank’s neck.  
“Will you… I mean, I… will you make love to me?” Frank’s voice cracked towards the end as he almost lost his nerve.   
“How can I say no to that?” Gerard murmured against Frank’s skin. Without warning, Gerard slipped his arms around Frank and lifted the man off his feet, kissing him deeply. Frank clung to Gerard and returned the kiss, not even letting go when he felt Gerard lay him down on the bed.  
Gerard kissed Frank and slowly started to pull away. Frank whimpered once Gerard was no longer on top of him and reached out to grab hold of him. Gerard looked down at Frank’s desperate fingers clutching his t-shirt then smiled fondly at him.  
“I’m not going away, baby. I just have to take my clothes off,” Gerard said softly, knowing Frank was panicking about being abandoned after asking for something so intimate. Frank almost frowned but let go of the material, nodding slowly.  
Gerard made short work of his own clothing then started on Frank’s; while Gerard had been removing his own jeans, Frank had started his own but not got much further than the belt. Gerard kissed Frank’s hip bones and then down his thighs as he pulled the material away for him.  
“You are so fucking beautiful, Frankie,” Gerard murmured once Frank was naked.  
“You are,” Frank whispered back. Gerard reached into the drawer then came back to Frank’s waiting lips.  
Frank couldn’t help but moan at Gerard’s hands caressing him; his face, his neck, his chest. Each soft touch, followed by a gentle kiss, made Frank’s skin prickle and his hairs stand on end.  
Frank didn’t know when Gerard had opened the lubricant or applied it to his fingers, so it was more shock than discomfort that made him gasp when Gerard slipped a fingertip inside him. Gerard instantly stilled his hand, even though Frank wriggled his hips, desperate to work Gerard in further.  
“Okay, baby?” Gerard whispered as he pulled his lips away from Frank’s.  
“Yeah… surprised me,” Frank admitted.  
“Sorry, Frankie,” Gerard said with a chuckle before kissing his cheek. Gerard took a long time playing with Frank, teasing him with his fingers but never touching his prostate. Frank was panting, squirming on the bed with every flex and twist of Gerard’s fingers.  
Frank felt strangely empty when Gerard withdrew his hand but he consoled himself with the thought that it wouldn’t be for long. Gerard tore open the condom with his teeth and quickly unrolled it with a practiced hand. Another slick of lubricant and Gerard placed himself between Frank’s legs.  
“You ready, baby?” Gerard asked in a rough whisper.  
“I love you, Gee,” Frank said in a small voice, nodding to answer the question.  
“I love you, Frankie,” Gerard replied in a voice that was beyond heartfelt.  
Gerard pushed forward, slowly easing himself into Frank. There was a low moan from both men at the same time as Gerard slipped another inch into Frank.  
“Shit… Gee…” Frank panted, staring up at the man with dazed, wide eyes.   
“Good?” Gerard guessed from the look on his face. It burnt Frank a little, the sensation of being stretched enough to take Gerard, but he liked the completeness of being filled by him.  
“So good,” Frank moaned then wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck. After a short, but passionate, kiss, Gerard worked himself deeper into Frank.  
“Frankie, you feel so fuckin’ tight, baby, you’re amazing,” Gerard said as he fully sank himself into Frank. Without meaning to, Gerard rubbed against Frank’s prostate; only realising when Frank squealed in his ear.  
“Again,” Frank panted before Gerard could open his mouth to apologise.  
“You sure, baby?” Gerard asked, a little worried the stimulation might be too much.  
“I want you, Gerard,” Frank whispered, daring to lick the man’s ear. The words and feel of Frank’s tongue was too much. Even though Gerard was reluctant to pull away from the delicious heat of Frank around him, he drew himself back to roll his hips forward, this time aiming for Frank’s sweet spot.  
Gerard kept the movements small, being tender with Frank, loving and gentle. Frank kept his lips pressed against any part of Gerard he could, moaning and clawing at his skin with every shudder. There was barely any space between their bodies, both men desperate to be so close, to be a part of each other.  
Gerard cupped one hand against the side of Frank’s face, forcing the man to look at him when he got close. He wanted it to be special, for Frank to remember every moment… especially the most important one.  
“I’m… Gee… I, I think… yeah…” Frank panted. Gerard smiled at him, eyes full of love, and kissed his parted lips. Frank groaned as Gerard thrust into him and struck his prostate again. Gerard felt Frank’s climax spray against his stomach and the man involuntarily clench around him, the extra tightness pushing Gerard over the edge.   
Gerard didn’t want to move and he could tell Frank didn’t want him to either. There was a brief chance for Gerard to slide out and remove the condom but as soon as he had, Frank wrapped his legs around his waist and drew him down for a kiss.  
“Love you,” Frank mumbled against Gerard lips, not fully deciding if he wanted to kiss him or declare his love more.  
“I know, baby. I love you so much,” Gerard whispered once his lips were free.  
“Love me…” Frank murmured, his eyes closed but his arms gripping Gerard’s shoulders.  
“I do, Frankie.” Gerard nuzzled Frank’s neck until he hummed happily. Gerard kept hold of Frank and rolled slightly so he wasn’t on top of Frank, facing him instead with them both on their sides.  
“Don’t go… don’t leave me,” Frank said sleepily as he burrowed against Gerard’s chest.   
“I’m here, baby,” Gerard whispered softly, kissing Frank’s hair and closing his own eyes. “I’ll keep you safe tonight.”


	23. Chapter 23

Losing his mother wasn’t as much of a blow as Frank expected it to be. Their relationship was always strange but it was a constant that Frank had come to rely on. But now he had Gerard; someone who loved him for who he was and because he wanted to, not because he had to.  
Gerard was always waiting, for the first few days he watched Frank cautiously like he might explode into tears from the slightest word or touch. Frank knew and he let Gerard keep his careful eye on him; for Frank it was a continuous reminder of Gerard’s love for him.  
As long as he had Gerard, Frank knew everything would work out alright.

Friday, a working night for Gerard which was normally Frank’s night to walk Lola but he was too tired. After making himself a snack and taking a shower, Frank was just about to start playing Pansy when he heard his phone vibrate on the table; a call from a local number that he didn’t recognise. Confused, Frank reached out and swiped to answer the call.  
“Frankie? It’s me, baby,” Gerard said down the line. Frank’s stomach immediately started to churn; nothing good ever came from Gerard calling during work.  
“Gee. What’s wrong?” Frank said quickly. He could hear voices in the background but it didn’t sound like the hotel.  
“Don’t freak out, honey, but I need you to come get me,” Gerard said, his voice urgent.  
“Where are you?”  
“The police station,” Gerard admitted in a rush.  
“What?!” Frank exclaimed, almost dropping the phone in shock.  
“The station. I’m fine but I need you to collect me,” Gerard repeated.  
“Why are you there?” Frank asked, already fearing the worst.  
“I got picked up,” Gerard whispered.  
“For what?” Frank already knew but he asked anyway. Frank heard a harsh voice in the background telling Gerard his time was up.  
“Gimme a fucking second. I’m trying to explain to my boyfriend how giving a stranger directions is apparently illegal,” Gerard screamed, not at Frank but whoever was trying to rush his call. “Sorry, honey, I promise I’ll explain when you get here,” Gerard said down the line.  
“Okay. I’m coming,” Frank said but the call had already disconnected.

Frank was breathing hard when he pushed open the doors to the police station. The stench of alcohol and vomit was overwhelming (though typical of a Friday night) but he didn't care. Frank strode past the sea of people sat on nailed down benches. Some looked upset, others bored, the majority just looked like they would rather be anywhere else.  
"Gerard... Gerard Way," Frank panted at the officer on the desk.  
"What's the problem, Mr Way?"  
"No, not me, him," Frank said, completely unaware of how nonsensical he sounded.  
“I think we should start at the beginning,” the officer said firmly. "I'm Officer Bell. How can I help?"  
"I've come for Gerard," Frank had a hard time not screaming it but he knew losing his temper would only get him and his boyfriend into more trouble.  
"Way, you said?" Officer Bell asked as he typed something into his computer.  
"Yeah. Gerard Way," Frank said through gritted teeth.  
"And are you Mr Way's next of kin?"  
"What? No. Yeah. I mean... I don't know. Does that even fucking matter?" Frank was running out of patience.  
"There's no call for that language, sir. It's a simple question." Officer Bell looked away from his screen to give Frank a warning stare.  
"I don't know the answer. It might be his brother, maybe it's me." Frank made himself take a deep breath after he explained.  
"Okay. Let me see..." Officer Bell typed some more but the silence was getting to Frank.  
"Look, I'm the one he called to come get him,” Frank said to try and hurry things along.  
“But you might be his next of kin or might not be?” Officer Bell didn’t look away from the screen but Frank knew he needed to answer the question.  
“I’m his boyfriend, okay?” Frank rushed out in a low voice.  
“That’s fine, sir. Let me check the system.”  
“I just wanna pick him up and leave," Frank said as calmly as he could manage.  
"I can see that. Mr Way will be released in a few minutes. Just take a seat," Officer Bell said, waving his hand towards the seating area then turning away from Frank.  
Frank stalked off to find a seat, choosing the bench with occupants that looked least likely to vomit. The men on the row of seats looked too aggressive so Frank sat next to a dark haired woman who had her back turned.  
“Frank? Is that you?”  
Frank heard his name and turned to the woman next to him who had spun round in her seat the minute Frank had sat down.  
“Lindsey?” Frank said in surprise. Frank’s boss was sat next to him but she didn’t look anything like she did at work. Lindsey’s hair was almost the same but her heavy, dark make up made her look fierce, especially twinned with the red kilt and lace vest top.  
“Yeah. Looks like my secret’s out, huh? Librarian by day, punk by night,” Lindsey said with a light laugh.  
“I didn’t expect that,” Frank said honestly. “What are you doing here?”  
“Aww, some jerk off stole my handbag. Tried to give me a beating too but my boots got the better of him.” Lindsey crossed her legs to show Frank her knee high, black heavy soled boots.  
“Wow. Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I just gotta wait to be interviewed. Probably gonna miss the gig though,” Lindsey said with a frown.  
“That’s too bad.” Frank found it much easier to talk to punk Lindsey than boss Lindsey. That was, until, she asked the pivotal question.  
“So, what are you doing here?”  
“Oh… me? I… I’m…” Frank started then shook his head.  
“Frankie,” Gerard’s voice sounded across the room and Frank turned his head towards it. Gerard was stood in front of the now closed door with an officer at his side. Gerard pointed out Frank and the officer walked him over to the bench.  
“Oh…” Lindsey said as the two men approached. Gerard was dressed for work in black jeans so tight they might as well have been painted on, a low cut v-neck white t-shirt and a leather biker jacket. The laces from his boots were missing and it just made him look even more like a hooker.  
“Gee,” Frank said, his voice dripping with relief. He stood up and embraced the man as soon as he was close enough.  
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Gerard said when Frank let him go.  
“Have they charged you with anything?” Frank asked, looking at the officer.  
“No. Nothing to fucking charge me with; it’s not illegal to talk to someone,” Gerard spat, staring at the police officer. Frank wished Gerard wouldn’t be so aggressive, he didn’t want him to get into any more trouble.  
“Don’t forget your belongings, Mr Way,” the officer said with a sneer. “Looks like you might need them tonight after all.” The man looked at Frank with something close to disgust then turned and walked away to the desk.  
“What? Need what?” Frank asked, confused by the officer’s tone.  
“What do you think they found when they searched my pockets, Frankie?” Gerard whispered in his ear. “I was going to work.” Frank’s face paled when he realised exactly what the police had confiscated from Gerard’s nightly toolkit.  
“Just leave them,” Frank said back just as quietly, glancing at Lindsey who was averting her eyes but probably listening. Gerard shook his head slowly.  
“They’ve got my wallet too, and my keys, phone… shoe laces,” Gerard explained.  
The officer was back with Gerard’s belongings, all bagged up and available for the whole room to view via the clear plastic bag. Gerard snatched it away from the officer as quickly as he could and shoved it in his jacket but Frank knew Lindsey had already seen all the silver packets inside.  
“You have a nice night, gentlemen,” the officer said with a smirk.  
“Fuck you,” Gerard spat and turned away from the man. “Let’s go, baby.” Gerard took hold of Frank’s hand.  
“Bye, Frank. Bye, Gerard,” Lindsey said from the bench. Gerard looked at her in confusion, trying to recognise her but failing.  
“You remember Lindsey? My boss? You met a few weeks ago,” Frank said to Gerard in possibly the most awkward reintroduction ever.  
“Oh, yeah. Shit, I mean, fuck. Sorry. I didn’t recognise you,” Gerard confessed.  
“It’s okay. Nice to see you again. See you Monday, Frank,” Lindsey said, her voice not quite as warm as her forced smile.  
“Bye,” Frank said softly. Gerard gave Lindsey a polite smile then started heading for the exit with Frank in tow.

“And now your boss knows I’m a whore,” Gerard said as soon as they were in the car. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t even recognise her.”  
“It’s not your fault. I’m sure she doesn’t know, I didn’t tell her anything,” Frank said, turning out of the police station and heading for home.  
“But you just picked me up from a police station on Friday night, I’m dressed like the world’s biggest slut and I just got handed a clear bag full of condoms and lube… she knows, honey.”  
“You don’t look like a slut,” Frank murmured, letting his eyes briefly run over Gerard’s outfit.  
“I do, that’s absolutely the point of dressing this way.”  
“I like it,” Frank said quietly.  
“I know, baby. I didn’t say I looked bad… I mean, I look hot, but also like a slut,” Gerard said then rubbed Frank’s thigh.  
They rode the rest of the way in silence. By the time Frank parked by the kerb outside the apartment he was desperate to hear Gerard’s voice.  
“What happened?” Frank asked meekly once he turned off the engine.  
“They were fuckin’ watching,” Gerard said in a low voice. “I was lucky.”  
“Were they in the hotel?”  
“No. Outside. A guy genuinely stopped his car to ask me directions. I leant through his window to speak to him; I swear, Frankie, all I was doing was telling him how to get to a fucking restaurant. And then there were hands grabbing me, forcing me to the floor and cuffs on my wrists.”  
“Shit,” Frank breathed.  
“They knew, they knew exactly who I am, what I do. But they sprung at the wrong time. I recognised the unmarked car they put me in; it’s been outside the hotel a lot recently. They must have been watching and worked out I’m a whore. They probably thought the guy was a client so they took the chance to get me.”  
“What happened to the guy?”  
“They dragged him in too but obviously he was absolutely clueless about me. He told them his story and they even checked with the restaurant and confirmed his reservation.”  
“Your stories matched,” Frank said with a nod.  
“Yep. Saved my ass. The condoms and shit didn’t really help but it’s not anywhere near enough to charge me with.”  
“You were really lucky,” Frank said quietly.  
“I know.”  
“Gee, what if you had been arrested? Frank said, suddenly realising how the night could have turned out.  
“I wasn’t, baby. No charge, not even a warning.”  
“They could have taken you away from me.” Frank’s stomach was churning. He could have lost Gerard.  
How long would he have been imprisoned for prostitution?  
A year?  
Two?  
More?  
Frank couldn’t think about it.  
“They didn’t. I’m safe, I’m here.” Gerard turned in his seat and awkwardly pulled Frank into an embrace.  
“If they’re watching you… if they know…” Frank was crying despite Gerard’s soothing hands.  
“I’ll be more careful,” Gerard said into his ear. “I’ve only got a few months at school and it’s all done.”  
“It’s too dangerous, Gee. I can’t lose you,” Frank sobbed.  
“It’s okay, Frankie,” Gerard said softly, still stroking Frank’s hair.  
“It’s not. I can’t… what if you don’t come home? I can’t, Gee… please, please quit,” Frank begged through his tears.  
“Okay,” Gerard said then kissed Frank’s forehead.  
“What?” Frank said in surprise. He pulled back to look up at Gerard.  
“I’ll quit. If you want me to stop, I will.”  
“Right now? No more?”  
“No more. I’ll do anything for you, Frankie, anything you say. You know that. All you have to do is ask,” Gerard said sincerely. Though Frank was happy, the guilt started creeping in.  
“I… I’m, I want you to stop… but I feel kinda… bad,” Frank admitted, calming the tears but drowning in guilt.  
“Why bad?” Gerard asked softly.  
“I don’t wanna, like, tell you what you should do… or stop you from doing something that you like,” Frank tried to explain.  
“It’s not about you calling the shots, Frankie; I respect you and I want to make you happy. Don’t feel bad for asking me to do something for you, I love you and I’ll do what I need to for us.”  
“Okay,” Frank nodded, the uneasy feeling fading.  
“And I don’t exactly like my work. I mean, it pays well and it’s easy but I can’t say I enjoy it. I can switch off physically, Frankie, but it can take its toll, like, emotionally.”  
“It’s good you’re quitting then,” Frank decided with a sharp nod.  
“From now on, Frankie, you’re the only guy that gets to have me. Ever.” Gerard leant forward and kissed Frank’s lips.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updating, I've been unwell.  
> Hopefully, I can get back to my usual schedule... only a couple more chapters to go though!

“I just got off the phone with Ray,” Gerard told Frank the next morning when he came out of the shower.  
“Yeah?” Frank answered, still drying his hair.  
“Yeah. Told him I’m no longer in the business. And to watch out for the cops since they’re hanging around.”  
“Was he okay?” Frank asked quietly, suddenly worried he might have upset Ray by making Gerard quit.  
“Of course, nothing ever bothers Ray,” Gerard said with a laugh.  
“You don’t have to find something new, not right away.” Frank wondered how Gerard had even started working in his chosen profession but it didn’t feel like the right time to ask.  
“This place doesn’t pay for itself, honey.”  
“I know. But I’m working and I’ve got some savings… we’ll be okay, for a while.” Frank tried to think how many months his savings would cover. Probably two or three, up to when Gerard was due to finish his degree.  
“I’ll look for something Monday. I’ve only got about a thousand or so left to pay for school and Mikey is bringing me a couple of hundred that he owes me this morning.”  
“That’s good then.” Frank pulled on clean underwear and Gerard pouted.  
“Aww, baby, I was enjoying the view.” Gerard stepped to Frank and put his hands on his hips before pulling him against him.  
“No time, Mikey’s coming,” Frank whispered when Gerard started kissing his neck.  
“I’m almost cuming. You know you’ve put my pants on, right?” Gerard said against Frank’s skin.  
“What?” Frank looked down and saw the boxers he was wearing were easily a size too small and fitting snugger than what would be considered decent… especially since Gerard was still kissing his neck.  
“So take ‘em off, Frankie,” Gerard said seductively.  
“Behave,” Frank cautioned, watching Gerard trace one finger down his stomach.  
“Never,” Gerard whispered then licked his lips. Frank groaned, knowing he wasn’t going to win; if he took the pants off then Gerard would be insatiable but Gerard staring at him wearing the too tight pants… well, he was already insatiable.  
“Mikey…” Frank tried again to distract Gerard.  
“Wrong Way, Frankie.”  
“I’m serious, he’ll be here any minute.”  
“I’ll be done in less than a minute,” Gerard promised. “Well, if you stop talking about my brother I will.”  
“Gerard…” Frank tried to look stern but he knew the face he was pulling just turned Gerard on more.  
“Come on, baby. I want you… I know you want me too.” Gerard snaked his hand into Frank’s boxers and made him groan.  
“Quick,” Frank said inhaling sharply as Gerard removed his underwear.  
“You top then, I can go without prepping,” Gerard said breathlessly, grabbing Frank’s hand and dragging him to the bed.  
Gerard pulled off his pj bottoms and boxers in one movement while Frank grabbed the lubricant from the drawer. As soon as Gerard was laid on the bed, Frank crawled on top of him then leaned down for a kiss. Frank flipped open the bottle and poured some of the liquid onto two of his fingers but Gerard shook his head.  
“No, baby, no time. I’ll be fine,” Gerard breathed.  
“You can’t…” Frank started but Gerard spoke over him.  
“I can. I don’t mind, baby. You can be rough with me.” Gerard growled like a wild animal and it made Frank’s cock twitch. Frank was just staring at Gerard, open mouthed and paralysed with passion. Gerard took the bottle from Frank’s unmoving fingers and filled his own hands. Frank watched as Gerard worked his slick fist over Frank’s hard cock, moaning from the feeling.  
“You sure… you’re gonna be okay?” Frank gasped when Gerard let him go.  
“I want you to fuck me, Frankie. Hard, fast and like you mean it,” Gerard panted, his voice rough with desire.  
Frank pushed himself against Gerard’s opening and edged himself forward. Gerard was so tight, so hot and tight. Frank moaned at the familiar yet new sensation of Gerard around him. Gerard bit his lip but still moaned as Frank worked deeper into him.  
“It will only be a minute,” Frank said in a strained voice once he was fully inside Gerard. “You feel incredible.”  
“I bet I cum before you do, baby,” Gerard said, taking a deep breath. “Now, fuck me.”  
Frank didn’t need any more instruction or invitation; he flexed his hips to pull out but then drove straight back into Gerard. Both of the men moaned loudly, Gerard lifting off the bed to meet Frank.  
Frank set the pace, throwing his hips forward and slamming into Gerard before either of them could really take a breath. It was hard, fast, sweaty and loud. Frank knew he was really catching Gerard right from the screams pouring out of him and the extra tightness was pushing Frank closer with every stroke.  
Gerard’s voice came out in rough barks when started to beg Frank, he wanted him but harder and faster. Frank let go of the shred of inhibition he was clinging to and forced himself as deep as he could inside Gerard. Still, Gerard pleaded for more and Frank fisted one hand into his hair, pulling tightly on the red locks as he drove forward. Each tug of his hair had Gerard screaming and shivering but there was only wild desire in his eyes.  
When Frank knew he was only a few thrusts away, he took hold of Gerard and pumped him into time with the rolling of his hips, really sending the man into overdrive. Gerard was right; he did cum before Frank but only seconds before, both men groaning and calling each other’s names almost in sync.  
“Shit…I didn’t… no condom,” Frank panted as he pulled out of Gerard.  
“It’s fine, honey,” Gerard cooed, eyes still rolled back in his head.  
“Was I too rough?” Frank asked.  
“No. Just right, baby. So good.” Gerard lifted his head and Frank kissed his lips softly. The sound of someone knocking on the front door made them spring apart.  
“I better…” Frank leapt off the bed and forced his unstable legs to carry him to the dresser.  
“You can wear mine again if you want, I kinda like it,” Gerard called from the bed as Frank raked though the drawer trying to find some underwear.  
“You just want to get in my pants… your pants,” Frank said with a laugh. Gerard laughed and nodded as Frank located his own pants and pulled them on, throwing a pair of jeans over the top. Frank blew Gerard a kiss then picked up a random t-shirt and popped it over his head as he walked to the door.  
Frank reached the front door right as the person knocked again, harder this time. Gerard’s keys were in the bowl so Frank quickly snatched them up and unlocked the door then opened it to reveal Mikey, looking even more sour than usual.  
“You know the whole building can hear you fucking my brother?” Mikey said in a disgruntled tone. Frank blushed and looked at his feet, wishing Gerard had been the one to answer the door.  
“Morning, Mikey,” Frank whispered, desperate to change the subject.  
“Seriously, you guys are like, ridiculously loud,” Mikey said as he walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him.  
“Shut up, you jerk off,” Gerard called from the bedroom.  
“I wish you would jerk off, maybe then your neighbours will be spared the whole ordeal,” Mikey called back.  
“Fuckin’ jealousy, Mikey, it’s a bad colour on you,” Gerard’s voice drifted into the room.  
“You think I’m jealous of your skinny ass?” Mikey scoffed.  
“Just because you ain’t getting any, you don’t have to ruin everyone else’s sex life,” Gerard shot back.  
“Ruin? It’s only my hearing that’s been ruined by that fucking act of public indecency,” Mikey shouted to Gerard. “’Oh, Frank! Harder, baby, oh yeah,’” Mikey made his voice as high as Gerard’s and threw in a few moans.  
“All I can hear is that Frank is probably ready to bust your nose again,” Gerard called back. “Or if you’ve made him blush them I’m gonna do it for him.” Gerard appeared in the doorway wearing only his underwear, the same pair Frank had mistakenly put on minutes before. Mikey span round to see Frank glowing red and examining his feet.  
“Aww, shit. Sorry, Frank, I’m just messing,” Mikey said, clapping a hand on Frank’s shoulder. Mikey sounded sincere but Frank was still too embarrassed to verbally acknowledge the apology.  
“Why do you apologise to him but not me?” Gerard said impatiently.   
“Because I like Frank. He’s not a worthless sack of shit like you. Can you put some clothes on? Please tell me there’s coffee?”  
“Yes to the coffee, no to the clothes, little brother,” Gerard answered. Gerard crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Frank, kissing his lips softly. Mikey groaned and headed to the kitchen.  
“Was we really that loud?” Frank whispered once he was sure Mikey couldn’t hear.  
“I don’t know. I don’t really care. Mikey is probably just trying to annoy me. Even if he did hear, we are all adults. Don’t worry about it.”  
“What if the whole building heard?” Frank whispered urgently.  
“Then so fucking what? Maybe they’ll learn what it’s like to have a good time. Maybe you should ask Mrs Vaughan if she heard us the next time you pick up Lola,” Gerard said with a smirk. Frank narrowed his eyes at Gerard and playfully hit his shoulder, secretly dying inside just in case Mrs Vaughan had heard them.  
Mikey came back into the room with three cups of coffee and silently handed one each to Frank and Gerard. Frank sat down on the couch with his cup and Gerard immediately sat on his lap, despite there being enough room to sit next to Frank.  
“Jesus, don’t start again,” Mikey said, rolling his eyes then sitting on the chair opposite them.  
“I’m not sixteen anymore, Mikey, you gotta give me more than ten minutes before I’m ready to go again,” Gerard said with a smirk.  
“And you wonder why I don’t visit? Your art is shitty, by the way,” Mikey said as he looked around the room before lifting his cup to his lips.  
“Better than your guitar playing. Compared to Frank it sounds like you’re torturing half dead cats with a red hot needle,” Gerard said then took a mouthful of coffee.  
“You play?” Mikey asked Frank, ignoring Gerard’s comments.  
“Only a little. I’m not that good. Gee hasn’t even really heard me,” Frank said, happy to talk to Mikey about music rather than sex.  
“Just guitar?” Mikey leant forward, suddenly forgetting about insulting Gerard.  
“Yeah. Some bass but not much,” Frank admitted with a blush.  
“Cool. I prefer bass, I’ll show some bits if you want sometime,” Mikey said with a small smile. Frank returned it and felt a little easier, however he knew he would never be brave enough to play in front of Mikey.  
“Thanks. I wanted to learn drums too but they were too big and too loud,” Frank said to keep the conversation moving in the right direction. Gerard huffed a little, frustrated at not being able to contribute and started to play with Frank’s hair.  
“One of my guys down at the store can play pretty sweet. I’m sure he could find the time to teach you the basics,” Mikey offered.  
“If I ever get time…” Frank said, trying to be polite but not commit himself to anything.  
“We even open weekends so there’s no getting away from it,” Mikey said with an encouraging smile. Frank squirmed uncomfortably and tried to knock Gerard’s fingers from his hair; it was actually the conversation that was causing him to fidget and Frank hoped the physical touch would alert Gerard.  
“Leave him alone, he can play better than any of your staff, he could teach them,” Gerard said. He dropped his hand to Frank’s shoulder and rubbed it softly, perfectly understanding the unspoken signal.  
“Well, if you’re ever looking for a new job then you should let me know,” Mikey told Frank.  
“I’m not…” Frank started then looked at Gerard poignantly.  
“Alright… I am,” Gerard said to Mikey with a sigh.  
“You?” Mikey almost spat his coffee out.  
“Yeah. Don’t make a fucking big deal out of it. I quit work last night and I need money for school and rent,” Gerard said quietly.  
“Did wonder why you asked for this,” Mikey said as he pulled out a small stack of notes from his back pocket and dropped it on the coffee table.  
“Thanks, brother,” Gerard said genuinely.  
“No problem. Thanks for lending it to me to start with. You want me to sign you up?” Mikey asked.  
“The fucking ultimate humiliation… selling overpriced tambourines to hippies and having my baby brother be my boss,” Gerard shuddered dramatically at his own words.  
“No back chat or I’ll have to write you up,” Mikey said with a grin.  
“Maybe not…” Frank said softly, suddenly regretting bringing it up.  
“Shhh, baby,” Gerard said as he stroked Frank’s cheek. “Mikey’s just being an asshole. I was gonna ask him for a job anyway; there’s worse places to work than a music store, even if I gotta answer to him.”  
“I’m just playing, Frank. He’ll have it easy at my place and I promise to keep it strictly professional,” Mikey said though his eyes were glinting with all the possible ways he had already thought up to torture Gerard at work.  
“Okay,” Frank said quietly.  
“See you 8am on Monday then,” Mikey said to Gerard as he stood up. Frank shuffled and Gerard reluctantly got to his feet, letting Frank stand up. They all walked to the door and Frank lightly placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder when he pulled it open.  
“Thank you, Mikey,” Frank said humbly, meeting Mikey’s surprised eyes.  
“Oh… I mean, yeah, no problem, man,” Mikey stammered. Mikey looked at Frank’s hand on his shoulder then let his mouth fall into a warm smile, something Mikey rarely did. Mikey wrapped his arm around Frank and briefly held him closer in a half hug.  
“Yeah. Thank you, it means a lot,” Gerard said genuinely when Mikey let go of Frank. Mikey nodded and Gerard pulled him in for a hug, patting his brother’s back.  
“Yeah, yeah. Take a fucking shower, you stink of sex,” Mikey complained when Gerard let him go.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry...

Frank wished Gerard good luck on Monday morning as he left for his new job. Gerard smiled but there was no real enthusiasm there, Frank could tell. Frank was so worried about Gerard’s first day that he completely forgot about having to face Lindsey… until he saw her.  
“Good morning, Frank,” Lindsey chimed in her usual pleasant tone. Frank found it bizarre that the conservative, knitwear clad woman sat behind the front desk was the same edgy, punk woman he had sat next to on Friday night.  
“Morning,” Frank mumbled, nerves suddenly flooding his system.  
“I thought you might like to archive today,” Lindsey said conversationally. Frank nodded slowly in answer, grateful that Lindsey knew him so well. “Good, I’ve scheduled you all day in there.”  
“Thanks,” Frank answered genuinely. He couldn’t make himself smile at Lindsey though as he rushed past her and into the safety of the back room.

After his lunch break, Frank discovered the real reason Lindsey had marked him down to do his favourite job. Some of it was probably because she knew Frank would be feeling anxious but mostly, Frank decided as Lindsey came into the room with a cup of coffee and closed the door behind her, it was because she would be able to get him alone.  
“Coffee,” Lindsey announced with a small smile.  
“No, thank you,” Frank murmured, hoping his refusal would make her leave.  
“Oh… well, I already made it.” Lindsey put the cup down by Frank’s elbow then sat on the empty chair next to him. Frank took a deep breath and jammed his hands under his armpits to try and stop them trembling; the action gave him some small amount of self soothing too since his arms were around his chest.  
“Okay…” Frank said unsurely.  
“Frank… about Friday,” Lindsey said then sighed. Frank didn’t want to have this conversation, he felt trapped, judged, sick.  
“I… I’m…” Frank started but Lindsey cut him off.  
“Frank, is Gerard a prostitute?” Lindsey came right out with it. She cringed as Frank’s face collapsed into a grimace of pain but then in an instant he looked almost guilty.  
“No,” Frank breathed, shaking his head as if to convince Lindsey further. Frank was glad it was true because he hated to lie but he would have done to protect Gerard.  
“It’s just… I don’t want you to get hurt. And… Frank, you know it’s not love if you’re paying him,” Lindsey said softly.  
“Gerard’s my boyfriend,” was all Frank could choke out before his voice cracked.  
“Frank, are you safe?” Lindsey asked, the concern in her voice overwhelming.  
“Yes. Safer than I’ve ever been,” Frank whispered. “Gerard loves me.”  
“Does he cheat on you, Frank?” Lindsey sounded more worried than accusing.  
“Never,” Frank hissed, offended and hurt.  
“I’m sorry, Frank. I’m just worried about you. Surely you can understand from what I saw?” Lindsey put her hand on Frank’s shoulder but he shrugged it off.  
“I’ve never paid Gerard for anything.” Frank figured it was kind of true since Gerard hadn’t really taken the money in the beginning. “He is my boyfriend, we love each other. He isn’t a prostitute; he works in a music store with his brother. The police were wrong on Friday.” Frank was proud of himself for getting through the whole speech without stuttering once.  
“I believe you, Frank,” Lindsey said but her face didn’t look convinced.  
“I don’t want the coffee,” Frank said petulantly, looking down at the cup and effectively ending the conversation.  
“Okay, Frank. If you need me though…” Lindsey let the sentence hang there before picking up the cup and leaving Frank alone.

Frank was still feeling raw from his heart to heart with Lindsey when he left work. He drove straight home, even running a stop sign without realising. Gerard wasn’t home so when Frank let himself into the apartment he paced the main room while he waited for him.  
The sound of the door slamming in its frame and metal keys being thrown into the bowl hard enough to crack it made Frank jump. Gerard was home and it didn’t sound like he was in a good mood. Frank knew for definite Gerard’s day had gone about as good as his own when he saw the scowl on the man’s face.  
“Mikey is such a fucking asshole,” Gerard raged.  
“What happened?” Frank asked quietly. Seeing Gerard so angry was new and a little bit scary to Frank; he wasn’t sure how to really react.  
“He just loves being able to boss me around. He knows I need the fucking job and I can’t walk out so he spent the entire day giving me abuse and the worst shitty jobs to do.” Gerard clenched his fists and shook his head.  
“Was it just Mikey being… you know, like how you guys are?” Frank asked, trying to diffuse the situation.  
“No, Frank. He fucking humiliated me and he knows it.” Gerard’s eyes were full of fury and it made Frank take a physical step backwards. “I’m going to paint,” Gerard declared, not waiting for Frank to answer before stomping off towards his studio.  
Frank felt worse than when Lindsey had confronted him. There were so many emotions flying around that he didn’t know how to deal with them. There was the anxiety over Lindsey’s suspicions and now Gerard’s mood. Guilt was coursing through Frank too since he was the reason Gerard had been forced to take the job with Mikey.   
Tired, upset and on the verge of a panic attack, Frank made himself walk down the hall to Gerard’s studio. The door was closed, of course, and he could hear Gerard crashing around inside and cursing out Mikey to himself. Frank wanted to see Gerard, he wanted to knock on the door and have his boyfriend hold him, comfort him and offer that comfort back so they could work things out together.   
But Frank was too afraid; too afraid to knock and disturb Gerard, worried about making his mood worse.  
Frank clamped his hand over his mouth as he choked out a sob, feeling more alone than he ever had, despite Gerard being just the other side of the wall. The tears streamed down his face and Frank made no attempt to stop them or brush them aside. Frank let himself slide to the floor and sat with his back against the wall, desperately wishing Gerard would come to him but knowing that he wouldn’t.

Frank fell asleep, propped up against the wall, and the apartment was dark when he opened his eyes. Frank rubbed his face, eyes and cheeks stinging from the tears, then listened. Gerard was still in his studio; there was a shaft of light radiating from the bottom of the door and Frank could hear Gerard’s brush strokes.  
Stiffly, Frank stood up and wandered into the bedroom, flipping on every light switch he passed. He collapsed on the bed without bothering to undress or get under the blankets. He wanted to cry again but after a few tears escaped his eyes he was so exhausted that he fell asleep in minutes.

“Frankie? You okay?” Gerard’s voice jolted Frank awake. It must have been late (or very early in the morning) and Frank didn’t want to be woken up. Frank groaned and rolled so his face was buried in the pillow. He felt Gerard tug the blanket from underneath him and throw it over his body.

“You have to wake up, baby,” Frank heard Gerard’s voice cut through his dream and bring him back to the present.  
“Huh?” Frank moaned and rolled over. Gerard was sat up in bed next to him and was shaking Frank’s shoulder gently.  
“It’s morning, Frankie. You’re gonna be late for work.” Gerard shook him once more and Frank slowly pulled himself up.  
“Okay,” Frank said passively, still afraid Gerard was going to be in the same mood as the night before.  
“I made you coffee, honey.” Gerard thrust the steaming hot cup towards Frank and smiled at him.  
“Thanks.” Frank accepted the cup but didn’t take a sip.  
“I’m sorry I hid away last night,” Gerard said quietly. “Art is what I do when I’m stressed. I didn’t mean to spend all night in there… when I came out you were already asleep.”  
“I… I missed you,” Frank admitted in a small voice.  
“I’m sorry, baby. It’s just that this is a really big adjustment for me. And I had a really bad day at work,” Gerard said.  
“Yeah… tell me about it,” Frank said before realising he had said too much. He hastily took a mouthful of hot coffee while Gerard looked at him expectantly.  
“What happened at the library?”  
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” Frank shook his head and started to get out of bed. Gerard put a hand on Frank’s shoulder to keep him still, making Frank sigh and turn back to him.  
“It does matter,” Gerard said firmly.  
“Lindsey brought up the police thing… I handled it, it’s fine,” Frank said quickly. He didn’t want to bring up the whole thing again and admit to Gerard what Lindsey had thought. Frank had cried himself to sleep about it, he didn’t need Gerard to talk about it now; he had needed him last night.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still really sorry...

Gerard hated his new job; Frank knew it and the guilt ate away at him. Frank hoped after the first week Mikey might get bored of making Gerard’s life hell but apparently not. The second week of Gerard’s new job brought with it the same misery and mood swings of the first. Frank became scarily used to only seeing Gerard scowl (for the short time he did see him on an evening).  
Some days were better than others and Gerard would come home his usual self, but most times it was straight to the studio without really giving Frank a second glance. Some nights Frank sat outside the studio, some nights he just went straight to bed, but every night he was left alone he cried.  
The nights when Gerard came home with a smile, and his days off, got Frank through the rough days. On the happy days, Gerard was almost the loving, attentive, caring man Frank had fallen in love with. Gerard wasn’t particularly cruel on the bad days… it was more like he didn’t have the time for Frank. He would rather be in his studio with his paints and self imposed exile.

By the end of the month, Frank was seriously starting to panic

Frank knew his appearance was starting to reflect the unsettled tenor of his home life. When he came into work wearing the same shirt as the day before and without shaving, Lindsey eyed him with concerned suspicion.  
“Are you okay, Frank?” Lindsey said quietly when Frank tried to scoot past the front desk unseen. He was spending more and more time in the archives and although Lindsey was still happy to offer him that escape, she was starting to worry about the man.  
“Yeah,” Frank said in a shaky voice without looking in her direction. Gerard had forgotten (or chosen not to) kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning. Gerard had seemed distracted and was muttering to himself about making time to pick something up, more paints Frank had assumed, he had grabbed his keys and walked out of the door without really seeing Frank waiting on the couch.  
“Archiving?” Lindsey asked with a resigned sigh. Frank looked at her, his eyes sad and desperate and just nodded, almost like he was seeking her permission or acceptance.  
Unexpectedly, Lindsey went home for her lunch so Frank took advantage of the empty staff room; he had fallen into the habit of eating as he worked in the archive to avoid any confrontation. Frank took the opportunity to check his phone but there was nothing from Gerard.  
Frank debated sending a message to his boyfriend but he genuinely didn’t know what to say. All attempts at conversation recently had fallen flat; the most he could elicit out of Gerard were one word answers unless the topic was how much he hated having to go to work. Staring at his blank phone screen was too much for Frank so he shoved it into his pocket and gave up on the thought of eating, instead retreating back to the safety of the archive.  
Frank knew it would be Lindsey when he heard the door open just after his scheduled lunch break should have finished; he didn’t even bother to look up. Lindsey was sure to have brought him a cup of coffee and would try to find out what was going on with him, just like she did most afternoons when Frank refused to leave his sanctuary. She was persistent; every time Frank refused to speak but she was never deterred and still came back the next day.  
Frank eventually looked up when he felt Lindsey stood by his side. He couldn't help but gasp when he looked at her; Lindsey had used her lunch break to change into her out of work clothes.  
"I figured you're more comfortable with me when I look like this," Lindsey said with a quick gesture to her short, checked skirt and fishnets. Frank sighed but couldn't take his eyes from his boss.  
"I... err...” Frank stuttered nervously. He did find it easier to talk to Lindsey when she looked more punk than librarian but now he was scared about saying too much.  
"Come on, Frank. I'm really worried about you. You just haven't been yourself." Lindsey sat down on the chair next to Frank and put her hand on his shoulder.  
"Things are just... difficult right now." Frank swallowed hard and closed his eyes.  
"Is it Gerard?" Lindsey asked quietly.  
"Yes," the single word escaped Frank without his permission and he bit his lip as if it could stop more tumbling out.  
"Have you broken up?"  
"No," Frank said quickly before Lindsey misunderstood. "He... he got a new job about a month ago and..."  
"It's making life hard?" Lindsey guessed when Frank couldn't finish his sentence.  
"Yeah. He's really busy and just, stressed, I guess. He doesn’t really like the job but… he has to. And now I don’t see him so much.” Frank could feel himself revealing too much and he really didn't want Lindsey knowing everything.  
"It doesn't mean he loves you any less, Frank. He's not hitting you or yelling at you?"  
"No," Frank said fiercely, not really believing what Lindsey had said about love but still vehemently defending his boyfriend. Lindsey nodded and smiled slightly, more satisfied that Frank seemed safe.  
"You want to talk about how you're feeling?" Lindsey offered. Frank did, he really did, but not necessarily to Lindsey; there was so much she didn't know and even more he didn't want to tell her.  
"No, thank you," Frank said softly, forcing a half smile.  
"Okay. Offer's always there... in fact, I'm gonna keep all this stuff in my locker just in case you wanna talk," Lindsey beamed brightly with a squeeze of Frank's shoulder. Frank nodded and whispered a thank you but Lindsey was already out of the door.  
Frank felt a little more settled but when home time came, he found he was starting to dread getting back to their apartment; he didn't know what kind of mood Gerard would be in. The sight of Lindsey, back in her pastel knitwear, unnerved Frank and he left without saying goodbye.

When Frank got home he was almost vibrating with anxiety. He shouldn’t have spoken so openly to Lindsey; it was just so much harder to think of her as a boss when she looked so normal.  
Frank knew Gerard must be home since he was scheduled on an early shift and a brief sweep of the apartment told him that his boyfriend was exactly where he expected him to be; locked in the studio. Frank pressed his ear against the door to be sure and he could hear Gerard humming and the wet splash of paint.  
Frank needed Gerard. He needed to be held and reassured, to be told that he was loved, wanted. Frank plucked up the courage to knock on Gerard’s door when the overwhelming fear of abandonment became too much. Gerard didn’t hear the gentle tap (or he chose to ignore it).   
It was just like the first day Gerard had gone to work with Mikey, only things had got worse over the last four weeks, and the memory was just too much. Frank slipped down to the floor, wrapping himself in the foetal position at the foot of the door and feeling even more worthless.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't keep apologising... You know what? Here, have some Mikey; I swear it will help!

Frank tried to carry on every day as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. He still had a smile for Gerard every day he came home in a terrible mood… the tears always came later when Gerard was crashing around his studio. Frank slowly stopped asking Gerard for reassurance that he wasn’t going to leave him; the abandonment worries were still there but Frank feared revealing them to Gerard would only make him more distant. Frank knew his stupid, childish problems only caused more stress on Gerard and their relationship so he kept them to himself.

Roughly six weeks since Gerard had started the job (and only two weeks until his final school deadline) Frank was wandering through the neighbourhood. Gerard had come home in possibly his worst mood to date. He had said nothing to Frank, only kissed his forehead very briefly then locked himself in the studio. Frank didn’t want to spend another night crying alone so he had begged Mrs Vaughan to let him walk Lola.  
Lola was busy investigating a discarded trash can when Frank felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Worried, and hopeful, that it might be Gerard, Frank wrenched the phone from his pocket while clutching on to Lola’s leash. Frank sighed when he saw the screen; wrong Way.  
“Hi, Mikey,” Frank said when he answered the call.  
“Frank. How you doing, man?” Mikey’s voice filled Frank’s ear.  
“Yeah, alright,” Frank lied.  
“Is Gee with you?”  
“No. Sorry. You can try calling him if you need him but I don’t know if he will answer.”  
“Studio again?” Mikey asked even though he knew the answer.  
“Yeah,” Frank whispered, biting back tears. Mikey knew all about Gerard’s response to stress from living with him when they were teenagers. What Mikey didn’t know was just how regular the behaviour had become… or how it impacted Frank.  
“Frank, I swear I’m really trying at work,” Mikey said quietly. Frank had called Mikey after the second week of Gerard coming home in a mood, desperate to help the man he loved. Mikey had admitted he probably had been too harsh in the first week but it was just fun and Gerard was actually a really good employee who he didn’t want to lose.  
“He comes home nearly every day like it, Mikey,” Frank admitted.  
“I can’t say he’s in exactly the best mood with me when he’s at the store.”  
“He hates the job…” Frank knew it was true but saying it out loud made it real.  
“He doesn’t totally hate it, Frank. It’s just not who he is, it’s not something he really enjoys,” Mikey tried to explain.  
“Mikey… how did Gee, I mean… why did he do, what he used to do?” Frank asked, not even sure if he had made sense.  
“You’ve never asked him?” Mikey sounded sceptical.  
“Honestly? It’s never come up.”  
“He’s just never been one to follow rules. He doesn’t like anything safe, it’s like he can’t stand it,” Mikey said but Frank felt there was more.  
“He does like to push limits, I know. But how did he start?” Frank pressed.  
“Gerard just never held down a job, it wasn’t enough stimulation for him. He’d always rather be painting or drawing. I said he should go to school so he could take it further but the fees were just outrageous. We were in a bar one night and some guy mistook him for a prostitute, you know how he dresses.”  
“Yeah,” Frank agreed, remembering how obvious Gerard made his clothing for his old job.  
“So we laughed about it but I could see in his eyes there was something ticking over. I begged him not to but he started working the streets. It was easy money for him and he soon realised it meant he could afford his degree; paint by day and whore himself by night,” Mikey said in a melancholy tone.  
“And the hotel?” Frank quietly prompted when Mikey finished speaking.  
“That was better. I was scared for him when he was out there on his own. I always thought I was gonna get some call in the night from the police saying they had him… or worse,” Mikey paused and Frank could feel his emotions down the line. “A client took him to the hotel once and afterwards Gerard got talking to Ray. That’s pretty much it.”  
“He told me once that he could just turn off, like, physically, but that it was hard sometimes on his emotions. I don’t even know if he enjoyed it or not, I like to think it was just the money,” Frank told Mikey, swallowing thickly.  
“I’m sure that was a lot of it. He always said it was just to pay school but... maybe, I don’t know… I started to think he was never gonna stop,” Mikey admitted.  
“And now he hates me because I’m the one that made him quit,” Frank muttered sadly. Frank absentmindedly rubbed at the ache in his chest, Lola growling lightly as she was jerked away from her trashcan.  
“Gerard loves you, Frank. You’re the only thing he talks about all day… it’s kinda annoying,” Mikey said with a small chuckle.  
“Really?” Frank desperately wanted to believe Mikey but it didn’t seem right.  
“Really. Every one of my employees knows who you are, what you look like, your favourite songs. Is it weird that I know you forgot to shave yesterday and today?” Mikey said then laughed. Frank pulled the phone away from his ear to use the back of his hand to swipe across his chin; it was stubbly.  
“I did,” Frank said, astounded.  
“See? I feel like I know you even better than I know Gee, that’s how much I hear about you.”  
“But he’s so distant at home…” Frank didn’t want to dump all of his problems on Mikey but next to Gerard, he was the person Frank trusted most in the world.  
“It’s just the stress. He has to put on a front at work, he has to seem happy and be able to deal with customers. He does that through you; thinking about you, talking about you. But at home he gets to let all of that drop, he can be himself around you and not have to act.”  
“It’s just so hard,” Frank whispered down the line.  
“I know, buddy. Just give him time. He does this when he’s stressed, don’t take it personal.”  
“I don’t want to lose him, Mikey,” Frank admitted weakly.  
“You won’t. He doesn’t want to lose you. And I don’t want you to go either; you’re good for Gerard and I like having a little brother,” Mikey’s voice was genuine and Frank couldn’t hold the tears back.  
“Thanks, Mikey,” Frank tried to keep his voice level so the man wouldn’t know he was crying.  
“No problem, man. Look after that jerk off, nobody else will have him,” Mikey said then laughed before disconnecting the call.


	28. Chapter 28

For the second night that week, Frank had come home from working late to find the apartment seemingly empty. Once again, Gerard hadn’t started dinner and Frank prayed the man had decided to take a nap after work.  
Frank walked into the bedroom, hoping to see Gerard but found the room empty. Frank knew where Gerard would be; even after a long day at work, he would still be spending the next few hours locked in his studio. Frank sighed and threw himself down on the bed.  
It was so difficult lately and Frank’s head was a confusing place; he knew Gerard had finals and work but he felt like he was losing him. It had been too long since they had been intimate and Frank was starting to blame it on himself. Mikey’s words from their conversation the previous week had lost some of their strength and Frank was back doubting Gerard’s feelings, fearing the abandonment he was convinced was coming.  
Mikey thought things would work out; he had faith in their relationship. Frank was strong enough to fight for Gerard, wasn’t he? He couldn’t let Gerard forget about him.  
Frank stood up and undressed, debating taking a shower or just lying in bed to wait for Gerard. Or should he fight? Frank could fight for Gerard; he had to.  
Pansy was in her case in the corner of the room and Frank didn't even think about it; he knew exactly how to tempt Gerard out of his studio. Frank crossed the room in two confident strides and plucked Pansy from her case.  
The nerves settled in when Frank perched on the edge of the bed. He didn't bother with the strap but crossed his legs and made sure Pansy covered what his boxers should be.  
A plethora of songs ran through Frank's head but as soon as he tried to settle on one he couldn't remember how to play it. It was a stupid idea. Frank felt himself start to blush and almost stood up to put Pansy away. But then his fingers just started to play.  
Frank smiled as he got through the opening bars and started to feel more confident. His brain had made the perfect choice; Walk The Line was one of Frank’s favourite songs anyway but thinking though the lyrics in his head he realised just how perfectly they fit his relationship with Gerard.  
There was the unmistakable sound of Gerard’s studio door opening and closing just audible over the guitar and it took everything Frank had to keep playing. Gerard appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, wearing just a pair of black boxers.  
Gerard’s mouth was wide open when he saw Frank and his eyes were shining with awe. Frank was planning to sing too but when he looked directly into Gerard’s eyes he lost some of his nerve.  
“You’re playing… for me,” Gerard said softly. Frank just nodded and kept on strumming the familiar tune, his fingers not needing any direction. Gerard’s eyes were starting to shimmer by the time Frank had finished playing.  
“I know I’m not great…” Frank started but Gerard didn’t let him finish.  
“You’re amazing, baby. I’ve never heard anything so beautiful. Thank you.” Gerard stepped over to the bed and Frank put Pansy on the floor so he could stand by his boyfriend. As soon as he put his guitar down, Frank’s nerves consumed him… he didn’t even know how to speak to Gerard anymore.  
“Sweetheart… where have you been?” Frank asked awkwardly, confused by Gerard’s lack of clothes.  
“Studio. Painting. Saves getting my clothes stained.” Gerard pulled off his pants and dropped them on the laundry pile. It did make sense since Gerard had ruined too many of his old work t-shirts in the last few weeks but it still made Frank feel edgy.  
“You need a shower,” Frank said as he spotted several flecks of paint on Gerard’s arms and chest.  
“I know. I don’t want one though,” Gerard said then yawned.  
“You wanna go to bed?” Frank said suggestively, after all that was the real point of his stunt though Gerard hadn’t commented on his lack of clothing.  
"I don't wanna fuck, Frankie," Gerard said quietly. Frank tried not to take it to heart but it was hard to hear. He had done all this for Gerard, knowing how much he had been turned on by the thought of Frank naked with his guitar before and how much he had wanted to hear him play… and it had all been for nothing. Frank had fought and he had lost.  
"Okay, sweetheart," Frank replied sadly, reaching out for Gerard's hand. Gerard flinched at first but let Frank entwine their fingers.  
“It’s not you, honey. I’m just really tired… stressed,” Gerard tried to explain.  
"Want me to hold you?" Frank wanted contact, to feel like his boyfriend wasn’t slipping away from him.  
Gerard nodded slowly and looked up at Frank. Desperate to feel close to his boyfriend again, Frank stepped forward to Gerard. There was no way Gerard was releasing Frank's hand so Frank wrapped one arm around Gerard's back and left their joint hands crushed between their chests.  
Frank felt Gerard rest his cheek on top of his head the hold him tight around his waist. Maybe Frank had got things wrong, maybe Gerard was struggling, maybe Gerard needed Frank just as desperately as Frank wanted him.  
"Frankie..." Gerard murmured affectionately, not looking for an answer or attention; just saying the name of the man he loved. Frank hummed happily in response and swayed slightly.  
"I love you, Gerard," Frank whispered.  
"I love you, baby," Gerard sounded on the verge of tears. "Will you dance with me?"  
"Anything you want. There's no music though."  
Gerard turned towards his speaker, still keeping hold of Frank's hand, and flipped it on. The first song was something that Frank didn't recognise but Gerard clearly did since he started to hum along with the melody.  
Frank replaced his hand when Gerard came back to him and swayed a little more on the spot. Gerard rocked too, moving his feet in a small circle so Frank copied.  
Gerard rested his head on Frank's shoulder, his lips close to Frank's ear. Frank shivered from the soft vibration of Gerard's lips humming against his ear. Then the man started to sing in a hushed voice...  
"And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70,  
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23,  
And I'm thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways,  
Maybe just the touch of a hand,  
Oh me, I fall in love with you every single day,  
And I just wanna tell you I am,  
So, honey, now,  
Take me into your loving arms,  
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars,  
Place your head on my beating heart,  
I'm thinking out loud,  
Maybe we found love right where we are."  
Frank could hardly cope with the rush of love that filled him, the emotional wave from Gerard's borrowed words and romantic actions. Of course Gerard loved him, how could he ever have doubted it?  
Frank looked up at Gerard and saw the tears shimmering in his eyes. Gerard's finger swiped a tear away from Frank's eye but more still spilled over.  
"Don't cry, Frankie," Gerard whispered, even though he had just as many tears staining his own cheeks.  
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just... you know, I never want to lose you."  
"I'm not going anywhere, I swear it. I fucking love you so much, Frank. I know I've spent a lot of time locked away but it's because of the stress and work and my finals, not because I don't want to be with you, baby."  
"I know," Frank said weakly. He thought he had hidden his abandonment worries from Gerard but obviously not well enough.  
“I know things are hard right now and my moods don’t help. I’ve got less time in the day to work on my last piece and I know it means I’m away from you more now… I’m sorry but I swear, I’m always here,” Gerard said fervently.  
“I know… I guess, I just get lonely. I just feel like I’m losing myself sometimes, you know?” Frank confessed quietly.  
“And like you’re losing me,” Gerard added sadly, knowing his dedication to his art work meant he was reigniting Frank’s fear of being abandoned.  
“Sometimes,” Frank whispered, scared to hurt Gerard but not able to lie to him.  
“This weekend, I’ll be finished. Can you just give me a few more days?” Gerard begged.  
“I’ll give you all the time in the world,” Frank said quietly, a hint of sadness in his voice. Frank knew he could never leave Gerard, no matter how bad things got; he just loved him too much. Frank would take being ignored, being abandoned, being hurt in so many ways by the man he loved, just for one single smile or tender touch.  
“I’m messing this all up. I know… I can see that now. I’m so sorry for how I’m making you feel,” Gerard’s voice cracked and he choked out a sob.  
Frank couldn’t reassure Gerard or tell him it was all okay, because really, it wasn’t; but Frank hoped it could be again someday. Frank just held his boyfriend and let him cry on his shoulder as they danced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little explanation for part of this chapter.  
> When I first wrote the chapter where they discuss Frank playing naked I always planned to write that scene into the fic.  
> I did draft a pure smut chapter where it happened but it felt too cheesy and forced so I cut it.  
> When I published the chapter where they discuss it the overwhelming response was that you all wanted to see Frank naked with Pansy.  
> So I went back to the original smut chapter I wrote. I reworked it but I still wasn't happy so I decided to leave it out of the story.  
> Then I wrote this chapter. Originally, Frank just fell asleep and Gee woke him later on but on review I decided it needed something more. That's when I remembered about you all wanting to see naked Frank with Pansy and how I couldn't make it work as smut.  
> So I made it part of Frank's last ditch attempt to win back his lover. I knew this way it could never result in sex but I think that makes it even more powerful?  
> Anyway, what I'm basically trying to say is that if this hurts then it's kinda your own faults cos if you hadn't mentioned it then I probably would never have returned to the naked Frank/Pansy thing :p
> 
> Also, sorry but there's gonna be a small delay in the last chapter being published - I'm without my laptop for the next few days and there's nothing I can do about it. Sorry.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the very last chapter of Jet Black Hotel Mirror.  
> I want to take this chance to say thank you to every single person who has read any of this fic - if you loved it or hated it, you still took a chance on me and so I'm thankful.  
> I wrote this story for me, because it was trapped in my head and I knew if I didn't get it out then it would drive me [more] insane. I published it because... well, why not? I never imagined it would get views into double figures, never mind the four figures it's currently at. The response has completely overwhelmed me; I am shocked, humbled and so massively grateful.  
> Thank you <3  
> This chapter is dedicated to all of my regular commenters, both here and on Twitter: FranklyMrShankly, Juliet, Nicole, Kylee, Saratza, Momji, CurrentlyLost, jetsetfrnkie, FantasySwap, Dead Pegasus, Lena, JanuarySky, Killjoyzz... and probably others that I'm forgetting! A special thank you to all of you; without your comments, feedback and encouragement I would probably never have finished writing this fic.  
> I hope this chapter is everything you all want it to be.... let me know what you think!

“Frankie! Frankie, wake up,” Gerard’s voice was too loud and excited for the late hour and Frank groaned from being jolted out of his sleep. Despite the heart to heart from the night before, Frank had come home to find Gerard locked in his studio once again. It had been Gerard’s day off too so Frank had expected some attention when he got home but all he got was a quick kiss and smile from Gerard when the man came out to make coffee. And now he was waking him up at… Frank checked his watch, 2am?  
“Gee…” Frank whined, closing his eyes again.  
“Frankie, come on.” Gerard got hold of Frank’s hand and tried to pull him out of the bed. When he couldn’t manage to drag Frank from under the blankets, Gerard changed tack and instead sat on Frank’s hips, bouncing excitedly; not in a sexual way, more like an overactive child.  
“I don’t want to… it’s late,” Frank complained when he misunderstood Gerard’s intentions.  
“No, Frankie,” Gee protested but then he stopped bouncing and slipped his hand under the blanket. “Oh… but maybe… you look so hot, baby.”  
Frank’s eyes sprung open; it had been a long time since Gerard had said anything like that. The desire was there in Gerard’s eyes and it made Frank’s stomach twist even though seconds ago he really hadn’t been in the mood. Gerard slowly trailed one finger up Frank’s inner thigh.  
“Gee?” Frank said quietly, not really fully awake and still trying to work out why Gerard had woke him up if it wasn’t for sex… but now maybe it was.  
“Frankie…” Gerard let his hand rest on Frank’s hip but then something else flashed in his eyes and he seemed to remember this wasn’t his original plan. “Later… definitely later. Right now, you need to get up! It’s finished,” Gerard said eagerly, tugging Frank’s hand again.  
“What?” Frank murmured, looking up at Gerard as he tried to process the words and keep up with the rapid cycling moods.  
“My painting. My final assessment. It’s done,” Gerard said with a huge grin.  
“Seriously?” Frank finally caught on to the excitement. With Gerard’s degree completed Frank could get his boyfriend back. Gerard would easily find work in his chosen field (he was so talented it was pretty much a dead cert) and Frank would feel wanted again, loved.  
“Yep. All done.” Gerard got off Frank and started trying to extract him from the warm bed again. “Wake up. Look at it.”  
Frank let Gerard pull him up and he looked around the room, frowning when there was no canvas in sight. Frank rubbed his eyes and looked again. Nothing.  
“Where is it?” Frank asked, feeling stupid.  
“In the studio. Come on.” Gerard pulled Frank to his feet and started dragging him down the hall, barely giving him time to pull on his boxers. Gerard stopped outside the closed studio door and turned to face Frank.  
“Want me to wait here while you get it?” Frank asked, knowing exactly how Gerard felt about people being in his private space.  
“No. You have to come inside,” Gerard said, his eyes lighting up and his smile edging wider (though it already looked like it would split his face).  
“Really?” Frank was starting to feel anxious more than excited; Gerard never let anyone in his studio, not even Frank. It was new and scary… Frank shouldn’t be in the studio; it was forbidden. Gerard nodded rapidly, his hair flopping all around his face. But then he stopped wagging his head and stared at Frank curiously.  
“Oh… Catholic guilt face. Not seen that in a long time,” Gerard said with a slight grimace.  
“You haven’t seen my face in a long time,” Frank instantly replied then covered his mouth with his hand. He had let his nerves about entering Gerard’s studio get the better of him and his mouth had run away.  
“I know. I’m sorry, honey. It’s been so hard being away from you, Frankie,” Gerard said softly. Gerard smiled shyly at Frank, looking for forgiveness. Frank smiled and moved his hand to reach up to wipe a splash of paint away from Gerard’s jaw. Gerard rested his head in Frank’s hand and hummed happily, his frenzied state briefly forgotten due to the feel of Frank’s skin on his.  
“I know, sweetheart. I love you,” Frank said because he really meant it.  
“I love you, baby. I’ve missed you. I know I’ve spent too much time making sure this painting was right… time I should have been spending with you.”  
“It’s done now though?” Frank was really hoping the final piece didn’t need any adjustments or reworking; he wanted his boyfriend back.  
“Yes. Come on.” Gerard suddenly remembered the urgency and grabbed Frank’s hand as he flung the studio door open. Frank would have hesitated stepping over the threshold of Gerard’s studio for the first time but he didn’t have the time to even think about it; Gerard yanked him through so forcefully Frank was surprised his arm stayed attached.  
The wall Frank was facing was filled with pinned up pieces of paper and half finished canvases, just like he remembered from the one time Gerard had permitted him to look inside the studio. Frank tried to study each piece as quickly as possible for some perceptible change or to find one that looked important enough to be Gerard’s final assessed piece.  
“Not that junk. Here,” Gerard said happily. Gerard put his hands on Frank’s shoulders and turned his full body so he was facing the long wall that separated the studio from their bedroom.  
The entire wall was Gerard’s final piece of art work for his degree. Frank couldn’t comprehend it all and it took him several minutes of staring in silence to try and process Gerard’s masterpiece.  
If Frank hadn’t have been standing in his boxers with 2am bed hair, he would have sworn he was looking in a mirror. A life-sized, almost photo real version of himself had been painstakingly replicated in paint on the wall. Painting Frank was wearing dark blue jeans, ripped at the knees (just like Frank’s favourite pair) and a t-shirt featuring his favourite band. It all looked so real; the exact tone of his skin with a slight blush on the cheeks, the way his hair fell over his forehead, it was even the right height.  
Painting Frank wasn’t alone though; right by his side, holding his hand, was Painting Gerard. It was like another reflection off polished glass; Painting Gerard was as beautiful as the real thing. Frank took a longer time examining Gerard’s copy than his own. There was nothing out of place though, even the way the image was stood was a near perfect copy of Gerard’s self assured stance.  
Painting Gerard was smiling, looking so proud and in love at the painted man by his side. Painting Frank was smiling too, his eyes were lit up and there was no doubt about what was making him smile.  
Frank had to blink the tears away from his eyes so he could focus on the other aspects of the piece. The hand that wasn’t holding Gerard’s in the painting was wrapped around the neck of Pansy. The guitar was upright resting on the floor against Painting Frank’s leg, as though he was carrying it beside him. Frank briefly wondered if Gerard had been sneaking looks at the guitar when he wasn’t home since he had reproduced it so perfectly.  
Next there was Lola, stood waiting patiently beside Pansy for her usual walk. Frank felt sure if he reached out and touched it he would be able to feel the dog’s soft fur, Gerard had painted it so realistically.  
In the background of the scene was the hotel where Frank had stayed, all those months ago, and first met Gerard. They were much smaller and less detailed but Frank was sure he could see a Painting Ray and Painting Jamia stood outside in their uniforms, watching the happy couple at the forefront of the piece.  
Mikey wasn’t forgotten either; he was leaning against his own car by the hotel with that special smile on his face that was so rarely seen. Even though Painting Mikey’s face was perfect, Frank didn’t miss the balled up, bloody red tissue on the floor by Painting Mikey’s black shoes.  
Frank felt a pair of arms snake around his waist and the contact made him gasp; he had been so caught up in the painting that he had almost forgotten Gerard was stood behind him. Gerard rested his head on Frank’s shoulder and kissed the side of his neck.  
“What do you think?” Gerard whispered.  
“I… I think… it’s amazing, Gee,” Frank breathed. The sheer talent on display was overwhelming and Frank could hardly take it all in.  
“Now you never have to be alone, baby,” Gerard said, squeezing him tighter. “See? I’m always with you. Right by your side.”  
“It’s amazing,” Frank repeated in awe. “Like looking in a mirror.”  
“Did I get all of your tattoos right?” Gerard asked softly.  
“Yeah,” Frank said, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from Painting Gerard to check his own copy for any flaws. “Even the missing leg on the scorpion.”  
“What about your hands? The Halloween? Go check.” Gerard released Frank and nudged him closer to the wall. Frank slowly walked a few steps forward to examine the painting closer.  
Since one hand had hold of Pansy and the other was wrapped around Painting Gerard’s, the full tattoo wasn’t visible but from what Frank could see Painting Frank looked pretty perfect. Except one thing.  
There was something on Painting Frank’s hand, the one that was clutching Pansy. It was only a tiny mark, just a flash of silver colour by one knuckle. Frank never wore jewellery but it looked almost like a ring.  
When Frank turned around to question it, the rogue flash of colour was pushed out of his mind; Gerard was on the floor. The red haired man was crouched on the floor. No, not crouched.  
Kneeling.  
On one knee.  
There were the beginning signs of tears in Gerard’s eyes but his face was euphoric; alive with passion and longing, with just a hint of nerves. Gerard wet his smiling lips and opened them like he was going to speak but instead he bit his bottom lip and inclined his head towards his hand.  
Frank tore his confused eyes away from Gerard’s beaming face and forced himself to look at Gerard’s open palm. The band of colour on Painting Frank’s finger made complete sense now.  
It was shaking slightly due to the nervous tremor in Gerard’s hand; when Frank blinked his own tears blurred his vision a little too. It was still clear though; the small black box on Gerard’s palm with a plain silver ring inside… Frank’s wedding ring.


End file.
